Mario Goes To Disney World
by Super Hyper Mario 128 III
Summary: Mario and the gang go to Walt Disney World to celebrate Peach's birthday... but will Bowser spoil the fun for everyone?
1. The Invitation

It was another cheerful morning in the Mushroom Kingdom. Mario just got out of bed and walked downstairs to the kitchen to see Luigi making breakfast.

"Hey, Luigi. Whatcha cooking?" Mario asked in between yawns.

"Oh, just some scrambled yoshi eggs, want some?" Luigi replied.

Mario stood there, completely stunned.

"I'm just kidding! They're normal eggs. Here, have a plate."

"You know," Mario began as he grabbed the plate Luigi handed him, "You always seem to kid around. Like that one time when you said you'd be at the castle when Bowser stole all the Power Stars..."

"Actually, I was planing on coming, but I... Uh... had to practice my tennis skills for that tournament."

"I'm sure you were." Mario joked as he began eating his eggs, "And I'm sure that your absence had nothing to do with Princess Daisy..."

"It did not!" Luigi shouted back, "Our relationship is simply neutral!"

Before Mario could tease Luigi even more, he heard a familiar voice outside.

"Mail Call!"

"Oh, hey," Mario mumbled, "It's Parakarry. Luigi, would you mind getting the mail?"

"After you made fun of me like that!?"

"Hey, what are brothers for? Go get the mail."

Mario watched Luigi grumble as he went outside. A few minutes later, Luigi came back in with an armful of mail.

"Any good mail, Luigi?" Mario asked.

"Let's see... Fan mail... A trial issue of 'Mushroom Living'... Free sample of a new type of power-up... Eh, what's this?"

Luigi held up a pink envelope.

"Mamma-Mia!" Mario cried, "That must be from Peach! Open it! What does it say!?"

"Hold your yoshis! I'm checking!"

Luigi read over the letter before completely freaking out.

"Mario! We're going to Disney World!"

"What!?"

"Listen! It says, 'In honor of Princess Peach Toadstool's birthday, you are invited to join her on her vacation to Walt Disney World'!"

"Really now? We better get packing! Her birthday is tomorrow!"

Without anymore motivation, the Mario Bros. raced back upstairs and began preparing for their trip to Walt Disney World.


	2. Fellow Vacationers

Upstairs, Mario pulled a suitcase from out of the bedroom closet and began packing as Luigi looked over the invitation a second time.

"Ok, Luigi," Mario began as he unzipped the suitcase, "What does the invitation say we need to bring?"

"Let's see..." Luigi mumbled, "Well, clothes would be a good place to start."

"No problem!" Mario replied as he pulled out twelve pairs of red shirts and blue overalls, "What else?"

"Um... A swimsuit since we'll be going to Blizzard Beach... And a... A TUX!? I DON'T WANNA WEAR A TUX!"

"Whoa, hey, calm down, Luigi. What does it say we need the tux for?"

"Someplace called Victoria and Albert's. Ugh... I hate fancy places..."

"Well, that's your problem. Anything else?"

"Just the usual... Toiletries... Spending money... Camera... Nothing you wouldn't bring on any other trip."

"That wraps things up, then." Mario concluded as he squashed everything else Luigi mentioned into the suitcase, "We better get to sleep. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

"Wait a second! We just got up! Why are we going back to bed already!?"

"Did you read when the flight takes off?"

Luigi glanced down at the invitation again and his eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets.

"WE HAVE TO GET UP AT 1AM!? WHAT THE HECK!?"

The only reply Luigi got was Mario saying, "Goodnight..."

* * *

It was dark (obviously) when Mario and Luigi got to the castle. Greeting them was Peach and, much to Luigi's surprise, Daisy.

"Hey, boys. What's up?" Daisy asked.

Luigi tried to answer but all he could do was mumble gibberish, partly because he was nervous about being around Daisy, but mostly because his sleep schedule was now out of whack.

"Nish glog blegh..." Luigi goggled

"Um... You alright?"

"Oh, don't worry about him." Mario replied, "He's just not use to getting up this early. I'm not really either, but at least I got some amount of sleep yesterday. Poor Luigi was too excited to get to sleep. So now..."

"He's a gargling idiot!" Shouted a voice from behind Mario.

Turning around, Mario saw two all-too familiar rivals standing on a nearby hill.

"Uh, Peach? Why'd you invite Wario and Waluigi?"

"Well..." Peach whispered, "Just between you and me, I figure they'll probably add a lot of humor to this trip being, well, them and all."

"I guess that's why you wanted me to bring the camera." Mario whispered back, holding back a small chuckle.

"HEY!" Wario yelled "Are you to clowns making fun of us!? We're only in this trip since Peach's paying for everything except the souvenirs, AND WE AIN'T GETTIN ANY! SO THERE!"

"And the truth comes out..." Mario muttered sarcastically, "Anyway, did you invite anyone else, Peach? Like Yoshi or DK?"

"I wanted to, but Disney doesn't allow pets in the parks. Besides, wouldn't a dinosaur and a gorilla look weird anyhow?"

"I guess you're right, but I'm just still a little worried about having to put up with those two the entire trip."

"Hey! You got me!"

"Oh, yeah. Heh, heh..."

"And Daisy and your brother!"

"Alright! You've made your point!"

Casually glancing to his left, Mario noticed someone else coming. Someone who certainly wasn't here for the trip.

"Peach!" Mario shouted, "Take cover! It's Bowser!"

Sure enough, Bowser suddenly came roaring over the hill in his Koopa Clown Car, nearly running over Wario and Waluigi, and flew right up to where Mario and Peach were standing.

"Well, well." Bowser snorted, "Going on a vacation without me? How low-class."

"Get out of here, Bowser!" Peach demanded, "I'm not letting you ruin our vacation like you did on Island Delfino!"

"Well, fine!" Bowser hollered as he flew away in his Clown Car, "But you losers better watch your backs!"

"What did he mean by that?" Peach asked when she knew he was gone.

"I don't really know." Mario replied, "But there's no sense worrying about it. We have a vacation to get underway!"

"That's the spirit!" Daisy cheered.

"You all are a bunch of losers." Wario grumbled.

"Well, now that we're all here..." Peach began, "...TOADSWORTH! YOU CAN BRING THE LIMOUSINE AROUND NOW!"

Upon hearing her call, Toadsworth came driving up in an obnoxiously pink limo, which Wario was quick to complain about.

"I'm not riding in that thing!" Wario protested, "I wouldn't ride in it for a million dollars! Um... Well... Actually... Maybe for a million I would but..."

"Oh, stop whining, Wario." Mario quipped, "Seriously, sometimes you're worse than Bowser..."

Eventually, everyone packed their bags in the trunk and they all got in the limo. Well, almost everyone.

"Say," Daisy asked as she looked around, "Aren't we missing someone? I'm only counting five people."

"I think I know who we're missing." Mario replied as he looked out the window, "Poor Luigi was so tired, he's sleeping on the ground out there!"

Everyone looked out the window and, sure enough, Luigi was out there, lying in the middle of the grass, catching some Zzz's.

"Well, at least he'll have plenty of time to sleep on the plane." Peach stated, holding back a laugh, "Could someone carry the poor guy in?"

"I will!" Waluigi shouted, "Watch me!"

Waluigi got out of the car, pulled Luigi up by the seat of his pants, and threw him in the trunk. He was greeted by three pairs of angry eyes and one pair of laughing eyes when he got back in the car.

"What?"

After Mario put Luigi in a more comfortable seat, the limo drove off, and the trip to Walt Disney World was officially underway!


	3. Getting There Is Half The Fun!

Bowser Jr. watched excitedly as Bowser returned to the Castle, but his smile quickly faded when Bowser told him that Peach didn't let them join her on the trip.

"Aw, man..." Bowser Jr. whined, "Why won't Peach let us come?"

"Because," Bowser explained, "She thinks we'll mess up her vacation. Why would she think that?"

"Maybe because we messed it up that other time."

"Well, we'll show her. Get packing! We're going anyway!"

"YEAH!" Bowser Jr. Cheered, "You're the best, Dad!"

"But this is a working vacation, Son!"

"It is? Why?"

"Because we're not only going to have fun, but we're also going to make sure that Mario's vacation ends in a hospital! HA!"

So, just like Mario and Luigi, Bowser and Bowser Jr. began packing for their trip to Walt Disney World, but their suitcase contained bob-ombs, chain chomps, and other things that could make Mario's trip another miserable one...

* * *

The Mushroom Kingdom International Airport was the premier airport in the Mushroom Kingdom and the only one that had flights that went further then Isle Delfino. Of course, this was the airport that Toadsworth dropped our vacationers off at. After checking their bags, Mario checked the flights board to see what gate their plane was stationed at, Peach glanced at her watch to see what time it was, and Luigi was taking a snooze trip on a nearby bench.

"Well, it's eleven o'clock now," Stated Peach, "So we have two hours before we leave, or more like an hour and a half after security."

"I'm hungry." Wario grumbled.

"You're always hungry, Wario." Mario replied.

"Yeah, but now I'm extra-hungry. Is there anywhere to eat?"

"After security, there is." Peach answered.

"But I can't last that long!"

"Tough."

"But, but..."

"Hey, Wario, Look!" Waluigi shouted, "There's some dude selling hotdogs outside!"

"That works! OUTA MY WAY! HUNGRY MAN COMIN' THROUGH!!!"

After watching Wario eat every hotdog the vendor had, the group went though security with little trouble. They left Luigi sleeping in a seat right outside the gate as the rest of them (including Wario, who was still hungry!) went looking for a more decent place to eat.

"How 'bout the Starbeans Café?" Daisy suggested.

"Sounds good to me!" Mario replied.

"Me too!" Peach answered.

"Me three!" Waluigi added.

"Heck, no!" Wario whined.

"WARIO!" Mario shouted, "You already ate a billion hotdogs! Why would you care where we eat!?"

"I need something to wash the hotdogs down with!" Wario protested, "And the stuff in there is awful! I mean, one sip of that Hoohoo Blend and I have to go shave my tongue!"

"Well, I hope you have your razor ready," Peach grumbled, "Because we're eating there whether you want to or not."

After a little more arguing, Mario managed to drag Wario, literally, into the café. Soon, everyone had a bakery dish and a drink (and, just to see if what he said was true, Waluigi "accidentally" got Wario a Hoohoo Blend). When they returned to where Luigi was resting, Peach noticed that, thanks to all of Wario's delays, they only had half an hour before the plane departed. Rather then go anywhere, the group just stayed at the gate and waited until they began boarding.

"So" Waluigi whined, "Are we just gonna sit here or are we gonna do something?"

"Well," Mario began as he pulled out a Game Boy Advance, "Anyone wanna play Four Swords?"

"Aw, man..." Wario moaned, "I left my GBA at home. Otherwise, I'd beat you all! HA!"

"Flight 128 is now boarding for Walt Disney World." A voice announced over the loudspeaker, "Would all passengers please report to gate N64 for boarding procedures."

Soon the gate was mobbed with toads all planning a trip to Disney World. In fact, the gate was so mobbed that just about every seat was taken. Not only that, but one rather rotund toad who was desperate for a seat and wasn't paying attention, sat right on Luigi's head! Of course, it didn't take long before the toad realized what he was sitting on and ran off in a panic. Mario was still laughing at what happened when they were all on the plane, ready for takeoff. Mario, Peach, and Wario were on the right side of the plane while Waluigi, Daisy, and a still sleeping Luigi were on the left. After takeoff, which nearly caused Waluigi to throw up, Mario dug a pillow and a blanket out of the seatback pocket in front of him.

"I guess I can finally go to sleep now." Mario mumbled as he propped the pillow against the window and leaned his head on it, "Goodnight, Peach."

"Hold it right there, Mario!" Peach yelled while plopping a book on Mario's lap, "We need to figure out what to do at Disney! You can see what there is to do at the Magic Kingdom, I'll check for stuff in Epcot. Wario?"

Wario was already asleep, and was drooling on Peach's shoulder, too.

"Ew! Wario! Wake up!" Peach screeched.

"Egh... I'll take 'Gaming Hoaxes' for 100, Quizmo." Wario grumbled, still half asleep.

"Ok, Wario. Your job is to do research on the Disney/MGM Studios. Um, Wario?"

"Nugh... What is Aeris coming back from the dead?"

"Ok, never mind... Daisy, would you mind looking up MGM for us?"

"No problem, Peach!" Daisy replied, "But how can we look at that guide book from over here?"

"Don't worry! I have another one!"

Peach pulled out another guide book and tossed it across the aisle... and nearly beaned the stewardess passing out drinks in the process.

"Oh... Sorry about that..." Peach mumbled, "Anyway, Daisy, you can look up the MGM Studios and Waluigi, you can study the Animal Kingdom."

"What!?" Waluigi shouted, "I don't wanna do anything educational! This is a vacation, for crying out loud!"

"Get over it."

After everyone figured out what were the hot spots at all the parks, they all realized that they were getting rather tired.

"I did my research, NOW can I go to sleep?" Mario grumbled.

"Sure thing, Mario!" Peach replied, "Just remember to wake up when we get there!"

"I don't wanna go to sleep!" Waluigi whined, "I wanna watch the in-flight movie!"

"Well," Daisy mumbled as she looked in the in-flight magazine, "It says here that the movie we're going to watch is the Super Mario Bros. movie. So if you really want to..."

"Uh" Waluigi stuttered, "Then again, maybe a little sleep is good for me! Goodnight! Zzz..."

"Wait a second," Peach began as she looked at her in-flight magazine, "Mine says that the movie is the last Lord of the Rings flick. Isn't Waluigi a big LotR fan?"

"Well, yeah," Daisy whispered to Peach, "But you wanted him to get some sleep, right?"

Soon after that humorous episode, everyone went to sleep. By the time they woke up, they were fully refreshed, it was a decent hour, and they were in Walt Disney World!


	4. The MoNOrail

After claiming their baggage and renting a minivan, everyone piled into the car to begin their vacation, unaware that, on the other side of the parking garage, two very familiar enemies were watching.

"Yo, Pop," Bowser Jr. mumbled, "What are we gonna do? Blow the car up with Bob-ombs? Shoot it into oblivion with Bullet Bills?"

"Quiet!" Bowser hissed, "We can't do anything to obvious! The last thing we want is to send Disney World into a panic! If we do, they'll shut the whole place down, leaving us with no vacation! We have to be sneaky if we want to get rid of Mario successfully."

"Oh, ok." Bowser Jr. replied, "But couldn't we just blow up Disney World and go to Universal Studios instead?"

The only reply Bowser Jr. got was a smack in the back of the head.

* * *

"Are we there yet?"

Mario, the driver, glanced in the rearview mirror to see Wario in the back seat whining... again.

"Look, Wario," Mario began, "Disney World is only thirty minutes away from the airport. I think you can survive for thirty minutes."

"No I can't!" Wario protested, "I forgot to bring my GBA! How do you think I can survive for thirty minutes!?"

"Look at the scenery."

"That's boring!"

Mario decided to blow Wario off and talk to Peach, who was in the passenger seat.

"So..." Mario asked, "What are we going to do once we get there?"

"Well, we'll reach Disney World around nine, which is when the parks open." Peach explained, "So I figured we'll just go right to the Magic Kingdom since our hotel rooms won't be ready yet. Not only that, I have reservations for Cinderella's Royal Table!"

"WHAT!?" Waluigi screamed, "I AM NOT GOING TO EAT IN SOME PRISSY LITTLE GIRLY RESTAURANT!!!"

"Ow..." Luigi, who was finally awake, moaned, "My ears..."

"Stop whining," Daisy demanded, "Or we'll force you to ride It's a Small World over and over until you'll have that song stuck in your head forever."

"NOOO!!!" Wario cried, "ANYTHING BUT THAT!"

"I repeat," Luigi moaned, "My ears..."

"Hey, everyone!" Peach shouted, "We're here!"

Everyone looked out the window and saw the giant welcome gate announcing that they were inside Walt Disney World!

* * *

Five short minutes later Mario parked the car in the Magic Kingdom parking lot.

"Hey! All right!" Luigi shouted as he jumped out of the car, fully regenerated after his little nap, "What want to do guys want to do first? Space Mountain? Splash Mountain? Big Thun..."

"Actually," Mario interrupted, glancing at the map the parking attendant gave him, "The first ride we'll be going on is the monorail, since we have to cross that lake over there before we can reach the park."

After a little walking, everyone was about to board the monorail when Peach suddenly remembered something.

"Oh, excuse me, miss?" Peach asked the woman loading people on the monorail, "Could we sit in the front, please?"

"Sure thing!" The woman cheerfully replied, opening the pilot's door, "Here you go!"

"That's it!?" Wario gasped, "You don't have to give them fifty bucks to do that like everything else in the park!?"

Wario's reply was an elbow jab courtesy of Mario.

"All you have to do to ride in the front is ask!" Peach grumbled, "You don't need to be so rude!"

"Well, sorrrry..." Wario apologized sarcastically.

The group got in the front of the monorail unaware that, a little ways down the monorail track, Bowser and Bowser Jr. were already trying to ruin Mario's vacation.

"See, Son?" Bowser explained, a chainsaw in hand, "This is how you get rid of someone without it looking intentional!"

"Yeah!" Bowser Jr. replied, "All we had to do was cut a piece of this track off and when Mario comes... BANG! No more Mario! Ha!"

"That's my boy! Oh, quick hide! Mario's coming!"

The two Bowsers climbed off the monorail track and watched as the monorail carrying Mario and the gang came up to the gap... and keep on going because they were on the _express_ monorail whereas Bowser and Bowser Jr. had cut off a part of the _normal_ monorail line.

"Uh..." Bowser Jr. stuttered, "Opsies..."

"Wait a second..." Bowser grumbled, "If that wasn't the monorail line Mario was on then that must mean..."

Both Bowsers looked, wide eyed and mouths gaping open, as the other monorail with innocent vacationers came driving up on the rail with the gap!

"Aw, dang..." Bowser mumbled, "There's only one thing we can do right now..."

"Run?"

"No. Even worse."

Upon saying this, Bowser, with more speed than ever thought possible by a lumbering giant turtle, climbed back up onto the rail, lodged himself in the gap, and pretty much served as a temporary part of the rail as the monorail ran over him. When he climbed back down, his sides were covered in tire marks, his shell was squashed into a square, and he was pretty ticked off.

"That wasn't such a good idea huh, dad?" Bowser Jr. asked.

All Bowser did was look to where Mario's monorail had gone and shout, "I'M GONNA RUIN THAT PUNK'S VACATION EVEN IF IT KILLS ME!!!"


	5. Splittin' Up

As Mario and the gang entered the Magic Kingdom, the first thing they saw, standing triumphantly in the distance, was Cinderella's Castle. Everyone was excited, knowing that they were now truly in Disney World... except for Wario, who just wanted to go on the rides.

"Yeah, yeah, it's pretty..." Wario grumbled, "Can we go on Space Mountain now?"

"WARIO!!!" Everyone shouted in unison.

"What?"

"Hey, everyone!" Peach began, pulling out her camera, "Let's get our picture taken in front of the castle!"

"I don't wanna be in a picture with you losers!" Wario complained.

"WARIO!!!" Everyone shouted in unison... again.

"What?"

Peach handed her camera to one of the other guests as they were walking by and asked them to take their picture. The guest happily complied and, in a shorter amount of time then it took to get Wario to corporate, they had a really nice group picture.

"That's a really good picture." Mario commented, "Do you think that guy we asked to take it was a professional photographer?"

"We should send this back to everyone at home." Luigi suggested.

"Yeah, whatever..." Wario shrugged, "Can we go on Splash Mountain now?"

"WARIO!!!" Everyone shouted in unison... again... again.

"What?"

"Come on, guys!" Peach shouted, running up to the castle, "We've got reservations for Cinderella's Royal Table, remember?"

"I don't wanna go there!" Wario complained, "Not all the money in the world could bribe me in there, a hundred yoshis couldn't drag me in there, and I swear by the stars that I'll never set foot in that place!"

* * *

Five minutes later, Wario was sitting with everyone else in the restaurant, a cardboard crown on his head and a children's menu in hand.

"This never leaves the table." Wario hissed.

"Don't worry, it won't." Mario promised as he secretly took a picture with his camera.

"So, Mario," Peach asked as she began eating her breakfast, "You're the one who did research on the Magic Kingdom. What should we do while we're here?"

"Well," Mario began, pulling out a note card, "I figured that the easiest way to go about doing things here is to split up into groups of two. We'll meet up at lunchtime and rearrange our groups there. At dinner we'll meet up again and rearrange our groups again. We'll get together for the fireworks and make our way home after that."

"Sounds good to me." Luigi replied, "What are the groups?"

"As soon as breakfast ends it will be me and you, Peach and Daisy, and Wario and Waluigi. After lunch it will be me and Wario, you and Waluigi, and it will still be Peach and Daisy. After dinner it will be me and Peach, you and Daisy, and Wario and Waluigi."

"I'm gonna be stuck with a loser while I explore the park!?" Wario whined.

"Hey!" Waluigi butted in, "You're with me two-thirds of the time!"

"I repeat," Wario mumbled, "I'm stuck with a loser while I explore the park."

"Look, everyone!" Daisy interrupted before Waluigi gorged Wario's eyes out with a spoon, "It's Cinderella! And Snow White! And Princess Aurora! And..."

"Don't tell me you're gonna go all character crazy on me now..." Wario grumbled.

Mario gave Wario a sharp jab in the gut in order to keep him quiet while Daisy asked for Cinderella's autograph. Soon after, everyone finished eating and the waiter handed Mario the bill. Mario took one look at it and his eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets.

"You are paying for all of this, right?" Mario asked Peach while on the verge of nearly falling over like a narcoleptic.

"Yes, Mario. Don't worry." Peach replied, handing Mario her credit card, "Besides, this _is _one of the more expensive places to eat."

"Heh, you'd never catch me eating here on an everyday basis." Wario bragged, "My idea of a gourmet meal is to dump all the food in a TV dinner tray on a plate!"

"Dude," Waluigi quipped, "You weren't going to eat here on THIS basis. And that isn't your idea of a gourmet meal, that was your idea for the company picnic!"

"Quiet, you!" Wario hissed, "Do you want WarioWare to go down the drain?"

"Um, guys?" Luigi stuttered, "Can we just go out into the park now?"

"Sure thing, Luigi!" Daisy replied, looking at her new Cinderella autograph, "We can leave Laurel and Hardy in their shouting match here. They'll get a clue soon enough."

"Will they?" Peach asked sarcastically.

Everyone (including Wario and Waluigi) got up and left the restaurant and the groups went on their own separate ways to explore the Magic Kingdom!


	6. Luigi's Haunted Mansion

"So, Mario," Luigi asked as he and Mario walked into Fantasyland, "We're finally going to get on some rides. What should we to do first? I heard Mickey's PhilharMagic is pretty good..."

"Nope." Mario replied, "I know the _perfect_ ride we should go on first... You're not still afraid of ghosts, are you?"

"Um... Why?"

Mario didn't reply. Instead, he ran on ahead of Luigi into Liberty Square. Luigi tried to catch up with Mario, not wanting to get separated. When he finally did, he glanced up, and noticed the giant gothic mansion right in front of him.

"Uh, Mario? What's-a that?"

"The Haunted Mansion." Mario replied.

Luigi stood there for a second before running off somewhere. A minute later, he was back with the Poltergeist 3000 in hand.

"Luigi," Mario mumbled, "This is Disney. The ghosts inside the Haunted Mansion are _fake_..."

"I'm not taking any chances." Luigi shouted back, locking and loading his vacuum cleaner.

* * *

"_Welcome, foolish mortals, to the Haunted Mansion..._"

Luigi nervously looked around, expecting a ghost to come out of everything in the opening room. If Mario didn't pull him along, chances are he would've spent a lifetime in there... pun intended.

Walking into the gallery (aka: the "Stretching Room"), Luigi was still on edge, and the door disappearing behind him didn't help at all.

"Ack!" Luigi screamed, "It's a trap! We're all gonna die!"

"Luigi!" Mario shouted, not sure whether to be rolling on the floor laughing or wringing Luigi's neck, "It's Disney! You're going to be alright! Geez..."

Right as Mario finished yelling, the hanging corpse suddenly appeared above the audience, complete with a scream sound effect. This, obviously, caused Luigi to totally lose it. Luckily, another door appeared on the other side of the Stretching Room, finally giving Luigi a chance to run somewhere other than around in circles.

Things went smoothly for about twenty seconds, until Mario and Luigi got in the Doom Buggy.

"_Do not attempt to lower the safety bar. I will do it for you._" The Ghost Host muttered as the safety bar lowered _automatically_, but that wasn't what Luigi thought, naturally.

"HA!" Luigi laughed as he turned his Poltergeist 3000 on and pointed forward, "Caught ya red handed, you stupid ghost! Now you're gonna get it!"

Mario only replied with a low chuckle as Luigi only managed to suck up a whole lot of nothing and wondered what it would be like to take him on the Tower of Terror.

The rest of the ride was a total nightmare for Luigi, and was absolutely hilarious for Mario. Luigi tired to vacuum everything up, from Madame Leota to the bride in the attic, and Mario just laughed at how all of Luigi's attempts were unsuccessful. Luigi unknowingly got back at Mario, however, at the hitchhiking ghosts sequence. Luigi took one look at the mirror showing the ghost and began to panic.

"Yikes!" Luigi stuttered, "T-There's a g-ghost right between us! Don't worry, Mario! I'll save you!"

Luigi pointed the Poltergeist 3000 at the "ghost" and turned it on. Since there really wasn't a ghost there, the only thing Luigi managed to suck up was Mario's face! It took until the end of the ride before Mario managed to pull it off! As they walked off the ride, Mario tried to keep his sense of humor despite the fact that his face was entirely numb.

"See, Luigi?" Mario explained, "You tried to capture every ghost on that ride and you didn't get a single one. What do you think that means?"

"I know what it means!" Luigi replied, "It means I got to remember to stun them with a flashlight first!"


	7. Daisy and Daisy

While Mario was torturing poor Luigi in the Haunted Mansion, Peach and Daisy walked back to Main Street USA to do (surprise, surprise) a little shopping.

"Um, why are we shopping here?" Daisy asked, "Shouldn't we wait until we get to Downtown Disney? That place has a lot more shops."

"I'm not going to _buy_ anything..." Peach replied, "I'm just looking at what they have... OH! DAISY, LOOK!!!"

Peach ran over to one of the store windows and inside was a cute, adorable, little Mickey Mouse Doll. Above him was a big sign that said: PAL MICKEY! EXPLORE THE PARKS WITH MICKEY MOUSE!

"Isn't that just the cutest thing you ever saw!?" Peach squealed in excitement.

"Er... Cute..." Daisy responded, trying to be polite to a hyperventilating Peach, "What's it do?"

"Look!" Peach explained while pointing to another part of the display, "It says that Mickey can tell us how long the lines are, when parades start, and where we can meet characters! We just HAVE to buy him!"

Daisy really didn't get a chance to reply. Peach ran in the store and, a minute later, she came out holding her very own Pal Mickey.

"Aw..." Daisy began as she took another look at the doll, "I guess he's kinda cute... So, anyway, what ride should we go on first?"

"I know! Let's ask Mickey!" Peach exclaimed before squeezing Pal Mickey's tummy, "What should we do first, Mickey?"

"I think Daisy is in front of the castle." Mickey replied in his high pitched, squeaky voice, "Maybe you could go say hi to her for me!"

"Wait a second, I'm right here!" Daisy objected.

"I think he means Daisy Duck." Peach explained, "What do you say we go get her autograph?"

"Well... Sure! Why not? I've got my autograph book, you've got your camera, let's go!"

The two princesses walked over to the castle and, sure enough, Daisy, as well as a few other Disney characters, were all near the castle. Unfortunately, there were also a huge mob of little kids swarmed around the characters, meaning that it was going to take Peach and Daisy a while to get all the autographs.

"So, are we going to actually do all this?" Daisy asked.

"Hey, you wanted to get everyone's autograph, didn't you?" Peach answered, "Besides, this will give us time to decide what ride to go on first."

So, the two of them began to get all the characters' autographs, using the time in line to look at the park map. About halfway through the process, Peach felt someone tug on her dress. Looking down, she noticed it was a little kid who was trying to hand her his autograph book.

"Can I get your autograph?" The little tike requested.

"Why, sure!" Peach replied, grabbing the book and signing it, "Here you go!"

"Aw, gee, thanks!" The kid shouted as he turned and ran back to his family, "Hey! Mom! Dad! Look what I got!"

"What a cute kid. He thought that I was a character. Can you believe that, Daisy? Daisy?"

Peach turned around and noticed that there was a mob of kids around Daisy!

"Daisy! What are you doing!?"

"I don't know!" Daisy explained, "I just mentioned my name and all these kids swarmed around me!"

Peach couldn't help but laugh. Apparently, some kids couldn't tell the difference between Daisy Duck and Princess Daisy.


	8. Wacky Railroads

"So, um... BURP! What do ya wanna do next?"

Waluigi glanced up from his park map to see Wario looking like a smoking addict. He had a turkey leg sticking out one side of his mouth, a popsicle stick hanging out the other, and a lollipop stick shooting out front and center from the middle. It was a mystery how he could talk at all, let alone being able to do it fluently.

"Eh... You wanna wash that down with somtin'?" Waluigi suggested.

"Nah," Wario replied, swallowing all three sticks at the same time, "I already stuck my face under the soda dispenser at that one restaurant. That oughta hold me over for half an hour. Anyways, what's next?"

"Well, as for the first _ride_ we should go on, I'd say..." Waluigi paused, looking at Wario's gullet with an evil grin on his face, "The spinning tea cups."

"Nice try..." Wario shouted, patting his gut, "We should wait until noon to do that! That way, if I hurl, there will be plenty of targets! Ha! Seriously, what should we do first?"

"How about Big Thunder Mountain? You got that turkey leg in Frontierland and, if it was still in your mouth a second ago, we can't be far from there!"

"Sounds as good as anything! And it's as sure as heck better than those wussy rides Mario's probably riding! Let's go!"

* * *

Waluigi's interesting assumption was correct. They only walked for about a minute before they were in front of the attraction's entrance. Unfortunately, the line was a whole (gasp!) five minutes long, which was too long in the Wario Bros. book. 

"What!? No way!" Wario shouted, "I'm not standing in that line! I DEMAND INSTANT GRATIFICATION!!!"

"You can use FastPass." A voice from nearby suggested.

Wario and Waluigi looked around for who was talking to them until they noticed a Cast Member standing by some ATM-like booths.

"Eh? FastPass?" Waluigi questioned, "What the heck is that?"

"Well..." The Cast Member began, "What you do is put your park ticket in this booth and when it comes out, a time card will come out with it. Return to this ride whenever you like between the two times on the card, and you can get in the FastPass line, guaranteed to be no longer than twenty minutes!"

"Whoa," Waluigi mumbled, "Why do I feel like I'm in some sort of vacation video right now?"

"That's nice and all," Wario grumbled, "But I prefer _my_ way of cutting lines much better..."

Wario then pulled out from seemingly nowhere a full sized wheelchair and made his way to the handicapped line.

"Ok, Waluigi," Wario demanded, pointing to the wheelchair, "Get in."

* * *

As Wario and Waluigi walked through the line, they were unaware that, high up on Big Thunder Mountain, a tiny pair of beady eyes were watching. When they saw Wario and Waluigi get in one of the trains, they stepped out of the shadows and turned out to be the eyes of none other than Bowser Jr. He ran off, making sure that no one would see him and think that a little mutant turtle thing was part of the ride, and reported to his dad, who was in the process of installing a switch track on the railroad that led off into the nearby woods. 

"Yo, Pop!" Bowser Jr. shouted, "Those two Mario Bros. knock-offs are comin' this way! You're almost done, right?"

"You bet, Son!" Bowser replied as he nailed the final railroad spike into the track, "This, boy, is pure genius! When the train those two losers are riding on come this way, all I have to do is flip this switch track, and the train goes off the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad and onto the Walt Disney World Railroad! Not only that, they'll be going in the opposite direction of the big trains! Before you can say, 'Great flaming Koopas!' those two will be history!"

When Bowser heard the familiar screams of Wario and Waluigi, he immediately flipped the switch and both father and son ducked for cover. From a rather safe place, Bowser watched as the train came down the track... Came near the switch track... and rode right over it. When Bowser came out of hiding to see what went wrong, he discovered the error was ridiculously simple: He installed the switch track the wrong way.

"Um..." Bowser Jr. mumbled, "About that plan being 'genius'..."

Bowser wasn't listening. He noticed that, instead of the BTM Train going on the WDW Railroad, the WDW Train was going to go on the BTM Railroad! To make matters worse, he could hear the train coming... And he never installed a switch on the WDW Railroad side of the track!

"Aw, dang..." Bowser moaned, "Not again..."

Bowser ran over to the WDW Railroad and stood his ground in the middle of the track with his hands out in front of him. When the train came closer to Bowser, he began to wince... He knew this was gonna hurt.

It did, the train slammed dead-on into Bowser, but his massive girth was enough to slow the train down considerably. Unfortunately, the train jumped about five feet into the air from the collision and, when it landed back on the track, it was _behind_ Bowser. Suddenly, Bowser felt the pain of being run over by five passenger cars before being shot out from behind the last car. The good news was that the train did stop before it went on the other railroad and no one, except Bowser, of course, was hurt. As Bowser limped away from the scene before anyone saw him, Bowser Jr. ran up to him and he seemed pretty darn ecstatic.

"Aw man, Dad, that was awesome!" Bowser Jr. cheered, "It was just like Mr. Incredible did in the beginning of the movie when he stopped that train from going in the giant gap in the bridge that was there because..."

Bowser covered Bowser Jr.'s motor mouth with his big, giant hand.

"Grr..." Bowser grumbled, relieved to be free of his son's babble, "Back to the drawing board... And the emergency room..."


	9. A Little Friendly Competition

Lunchtime had nothing in particular to note about (except when Wario tried to save himself a buck-fifty in bubble gum costs by chewing leftover clumps hanging on the underside of the table), and soon the groups, now rearranged so Mario was with Wario and Luigi with Waluigi, split up again. Mario decided to go Tomorrowland, and for some strange reason, Wario seemed rather exited to go. When they got there, however, Wario was ready to strangle the poor Cast Member who told him some "bad news".

"WHAT'DYA MEAN ALIEN ENCOUNTER IS CLOSED!?!?" Wario screamed at the top of his lungs, "I WANTED TO GO ON THAT RIDE AND WATCH MARIO SCREAM LIKE A LITTLE GIRL!!!"

"Well," began the Cast Member calmly, proving the myth that people who work at Disney are always cheerful, "Stitch's Great Escape is the same idea, only with a cuter alien, so it won't scare little kids"

"Won't scare little kids my rear end! You just did it so you could milk off his popularity even more, you cheapskates!"

"Oh, yeah, like you should be talking, Wario..." Mario mumbled.

That didn't stop Wario from continuing to yell at the Cast Member, and Mario quickly got rather sick of it. Pretty soon, Mario resorted to grabbing the back straps of Wairo's overalls and pulling him away from the Disney employee. Wario did not seem to contain the mental capacity to figure out what was going on, and he was still "yelling at the Cast Member" despite the fact that Mario had dragged him into another attraction. It wasn't until he fell over in exhaustion from all that screaming that he realized he wasn't actually shouting at anyone.

"Hey, where am I?" Wario complained, "I wanted to punch that loser's lights out!"

"Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin," Mario replied, "You spin little spaceships around in circles and try to shoot as many targets as possible. It's sorta like a competition to see who can get the most points."

"A competition, eh?" Wario asked as he forgot about Alien Encounter and began scheming a new plan, "I bet I can score more points than you!"

"Bet you can't."

"How 'bout we strike a deal: Whoever loses has to wear one of those stupid Goofy Hats."

"Alright, you're on!"

The two climbed into one of the ride vehicles and Wario immediately began trying to spin and shoot everything. Of course, no one bothered to tell him that the ship didn't actually start responding until the next room, making Wario look like a complete idiot (not that he wasn't one anyway...). When it _did_ start up, Mario calmly took the spin controller out of Wario's grasp and began to start shooting targets himself. There was a difference between how the two of them were trying to score points: Wario simply held the fire button down and let forth a brigade of laser fire while Mario took the time to actually _aim _before firing. When Wario looked at the score after the first room, his eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets.

Mario: 300,000

Wario: 40

"What the heck!?" Wario screamed, "What did you do, use Action Replay to hack into the ride's scorekeeping system!?"

"No..." Mario explained, "I just knew ahead of time which targets are worth more. Remember the orange robot? The target on the back of his hand was worth 100,000 points."

"WHAT!? THAT'S CHEATING!!!"

"No it isn't."

"Yeah it is!"

"No it isn't."

"Yeah it is!"

While Wario was yelling at Mario, he completely forgot about the ride. Mario, on the other hand, was able to aim, shoot, AND talk to Wario at the same time! By the time the ride ended, the score looked more like this:

Mario: 999,999

Wario: 200

"Yahoo!" Mario celebrated, looking at the rankings board "I'm-a Galactic Hero!"

"No fair..." Wario complained, "I'm a stinkin' Rookie..."

As they both got off the ride, Mario walked over to Mickey's Star Traders. Curious to what he was doing in there, Wario followed. When he saw Mario browsing at the hats, he suddenly remembered their little deal.

"Ack! Um... Mario!" Wario panicked, "Yeah, about that whole 'Goofy Hat' thing... You know I was kidding, Right?"

His question was answered when Mario walked up to him, put a Goofy Hat on his head, and pulled it over his eyes, causing Wario to start groping around like, well, Goofy.

"I'm gonna get him for this..." Wario grumbled from under the hat, "Even if it's the last thing I do..."


	10. Tea for Two

Waluigi was a little frustrated. He, like Wario, wanted to go on scary rides so he could watch his counterpart "scream like a little girl". Instead, Luigi had insisted on going to Fantasyland and riding all of those rides first. After an hour of Peter Pan's Flight, It's a Small World, and Mickey's PhilharMagic, Waluigi was beginning to realize that Luigi knew of his plan before they left the lunch table. As Luigi took a break to get some cotton candy, Waluigi sat down on a bench and looked at the park map to try and figure out how to get revenge.

"Heh, he thinks he's so clever..." Waluigi muttered to himself under his breath, "Well, I'm gonna beat him at his own game! Uh, wait a sec... He's already beating _me_ at _my_ game... So, technically, I'm trying to beat _him_ at _my_ game... Oh, never mind..."

Getting back on track, Waluigi looked at what rides he could use to humiliate Luigi without leaving Fantasyland.

"Hmm... Winnie the Pooh is definitely not going to work, and I doubt that Snow White's Scary Adventures is really 'scary'... Ah, hah! The Mad Hatter's Tea Party! Perfect! If I can't get him to scream, I might as well get him to throw up! Hah! He'll be so red with embarrassment, he'll look like his brother!"

As soon as Waluigi figured out his "instrument of torture", Luigi returned with two big bags of cotton candy, one of them already half eaten.

"Hey, Waluigi," Luigi called out, "I got two bags here. You want one?"

"Oh... Not right now..." Waluigi answered as nonchalantly as he could, "But I'll have some a little later. How 'bout we go on The Mad Hatter's Tea Party first?"

"Eh? Well, ok..." Luigi replied a little suspiciously, "Are you sure I won't get sick riding that thing? I just ate a bunch of cotton candy, you know."

"You'll be fine! Besides, it doesn't go fast unless you turn the little wheel in the middle, and you know I would _never_ do that, right?"

"Alright, fine. I guess I'll have the time in line to digest everything."

Waluigi was glad that Luigi didn't seem to know what was going on, and he was downright thrilled to find that the line was only fifteen minutes long, certainly not enough time to digest the cotton candy. However, after waiting five minutes, Luigi said he had to go to the bathroom.

"WHAT!?" Waluigi shouted, "WE'RE IN LINE! YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE!!!"

"Actually..." Luigi explained, "Disney doesn't mind if you leave the line to do something and cut back in later, so long as you have at least one person from your group still in line. Now, if you'll excuse me..."

Luigi ducked under the bars that formed the line and went over to the men's room. He was in there for about a minute before coming back out and going under the bars again and back to Waluigi.

"See?" Luigi began, "No one got upset. It's perfectly fine to do it."

"Yeah, yeah..." Waluigi grumbed, annoyed that Luigi had bested him a second time.

Soon, it was time for them to board one of the tea cups. Waluigi had observed in the previous times the ride was going which tea cup had spun the fastest, and immediately chose that one to get in. To his luck, Luigi had apparently not known the cup he chose was the fastest, and got in without mentioning anything. Soon, the ride started, and Waluigi was ready to humiliate Luigi.

Or so he thought. Waluigi grabbed the spin wheel and started to turn it as fast as he could. Strangely enough, Luigi also grabbed the wheel and he too spun it. The tea cup started to go fast. _Really_ fast. Yet, while Waluigi waited for Luigi to revisit his cotton candy, Luigi was having a ton of fun spinning around! Even more embarrassing for Waluigi, _he _started to get queasy! As soon as the ride ended, Waluigi ran off the attraction and tried to make it to the bathroom so he could hurl his guts. However, he couldn't make it, so instead he had to stick his head in a trashcan and puke in there! To top it all off, when he took his head back out, he discovered that he barfed so hard, some of the vomit bounced off the trash in the trashcan and back onto his face! When he turned to look at Luigi, he saw him laughing his head off.

"STOP LAUGHING!!!" Waluigi screamed, "THIS WASN'T SUPPOSE TO HAPPEN!!! _YOU_ WERE THE ONE WHO SHOULD HAVE TROWN UP!!! YOU WERE THE ONE WHO ATE ALL THAT COTTON CANDY!!! HOW DID YOU NOT THROW UP!?!? HOW HOW HOW!?!?"

"Well, it's quite simple..." Luigi gasped between laughs, "I knew the moment you suggested we go on the spinning tea cups that you wanted to see if I threw up, just like how you wanted to try and go on all those scary rides to see me scream. So, I planed ahead. Remember when I went to the bathroom? That was so I could take some Dramamine without you seeing! Then, since I didn't have to worry about barfing myself, I spun the cup fast so you'd get some poetic justice!"

At this point, Waluigi snapped. He lunged towards Luigi ready to punch the living daylights out of him. Yet, just as he was about to give him a knuckle sandwich, Luigi jumped out of the way, causing Waluigi to miss. This caused him to become off-balanced, and he fell on his face and slid into another trashcan. Luigi found this just as hilarious as him throwing up and proceeded to laugh his head off again. However, Waluigi quickly got back on his feet and began chasing after him. Luigi freaked out and took off, with Waluigi right behind. The two of them then spent until dinnertime racing around the park in such a ridiculous manner that everyone they passed actually thought they were Disney characters doing a skit.


	11. Makin' a Splash

Having already failed to ruin Mario's vacation _twice_, it goes without saying that Bowser was really annoyed. However, his anger quickly went away when he saw Peach and Daisy walking around the park alone.

"Hey, Dad, look!" Bowser Jr. yelled, pointing at the princesses, "It's Peach and Daisy! Why don't you kidnap them and ruin Mario's vacation that way?"

"Heh, great minds think alike, son!" Bowser replied, "But we have to be careful. We don't want to make a big commotion. Just watch and learn."

Coming out from his hiding place in the woods outside the park's boundaries, Bowser ducked behind trees, buildings, and the occasional garbage can as he slowly approached the two ladies. Just as he was about to grab them and run, he suddenly felt someone pull on his tail. Hard. Whirling around to see who it was, Bowser saw it was a small boy jumping up and down, nearly having a coronary.

"WOAH, COOL!" The kid shouted, "IT'S ONE OF THE TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES! CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH? PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE?"

"Uh..." Bowser mumbled, "Sure..."

Bowser took the kid's autograph book and began jotting down the first TMNT name he could think up, all the while keeping an eye on Peach and Daisy to make sure he didn't lose sight of them. Afterwards, he handed the book back to the child, who was still as hyper as ever.

"WOW! THANKS! YOU'RE THE GREATEST!"

"Um, yeah, kid. Just cut back on the sugar, ok?"

Quickly getting back to the problem at hand, Bowser tried to look for Peach and Daisy again, but they had long since disappeared into the crowd. Frustrated, and wanting to avoid another edition of "When Fans Attack", Bowser walked back into the woods where Bowser Jr. was waiting.

"Pop, where's Peach and Daisy?" Bowser Jr. asked.

"Let's just say that I was wrong about hiding because we would stick out in the crowd," Bowser answered, "We blend in well... Too well..."

* * *

Luckily for Bowser, he was still able to follow the most reasonable path that Peach and Daisy could take and managed to catch up with them. Even more fortunate was that they were currently taking a break from walking and were looking at the park map.

"I bet we could kidnap them now, Dad!" Bowser Jr. exclaimed.

"Ugh... If I go out there again, I'll probably be mistaken again for a Sneaky, Lying, Cheating, Giant Ninja Koopa or whatever."

"Well, that stinks. Now what are we gonna do?"

Bowser glanced up at a tree branch hanging over the princesses and got an idea.

"Son, do you think you can climb up on that tree branch?"

"Of course! Why?"

"I want you to climb up there and listen in on them! That way, we can tell where they are going and set up an ambush!"

"Ok, Dad! You can count on me!"

Bowser Jr. did what Bowser asked, and soon enough, he could hear everything the two ladies said.

"So, Daisy, what should we do next?" Peach asked, "It's getting kinda hot out, so maybe we should do something indoors, where it's air conditioned"

"I know! Let's do Splash Mountain!" Daisy answered, "That'll cool us off really fast! Besides, I got a couple of Fast Passes for it earlier, so we can use them now!"

"I don't know... I don't want to get wet..."

"Aw, stop being such a baby! You'll be fine!"

"Well... Ok, fine, but I'm wearing a poncho!"

Having heard all he had to, Bowser Jr. climbed back down the tree and reported to his father.

"Splash Mountain, eh?" Bowser mused, "Come on, son! I know how we can nab Peach, and get a bonus princess to boot!"

* * *

It wasn't long before Bowser had set up another half-baked plan on the front of Splash Mountain, this one involving a giant rubber band. Bowser was standing on one side of the waterfall holding one end of the elastic while Bowser Jr. was standing on the other side, holding the other end.

"Alrighty, Dad, I'm all set up. What are we going to do, exactly?"

"Ok, son, listen good!" Bowser explained, "I came up with this plan with safety in mind, meaning that, hopefully, no bodily harm will come of us if this thing doesn't work! When I give the word, we'll pull the rubber band tight across the falls. It will let the boat go though, but it'll clothesline Peach and Daisy, propelling them into the air. Then, all we have to do is catch them as they fall and, bam! We have not one, but TWO kidnapped princesses to ruin Mario's vacation with!"

The two Bowsers listened for the sound of Peach or Daisy coming up the cave before the big waterfall. Eventually, they could hear them talking to each other nervously as they approached the drop.

"Ok, son..." Bowser began, "... ... ...NOW!"

Both Bowsers gave the rubber band a giant pull. Maybe a little _too _giant of a pull, since, when they stretched it out, it snapped! Time seemed to stop for a second as they looked at the broken elastic, suddenly realizing what was going to happen. Completely losing their balance, the two of them fell off the mountain and landed in the "splashdown zone" almost simultaneously with Peach and Daisy's ride vehicle. A few seconds later, they swam back up to the surface and tried to recuperate. Bowser Jr. was the first to speak.

"Well, Dad, you were right about one thing: Neither one of us got hurt when that backfired. Heck, the only thing that got broken was our fall!"

"Hey, your right!" Bowser exclaimed, "So that means my plan was, in a way, a success! Way to look at the bright side, son!"

Their celebration was short lived, however, when the two of them suddenly felt the water begin to bubble. Looking down, they saw that they were floating right above the water cannons used to make the splashes look bigger.

"Aw, shroom..." Bowser groaned.

The water cannons went off, and Bowser and Bowser Jr. were blasted out of the water so hard, it wouldn't be a surprise if they crash landed in Disneyland... _Tokyo_ Disneyland.


	12. The Happiest Cruise Never to Set Sail

After a few hours, the groups got back together for dinner at the Crystal Palace, to discuss what they had done (Wario and Waluigi, for some reason, remained sullenly quiet). Eventually, they began talking about the next set of groups, as well as where they would meet for the fireworks.

"Well," Mario began, "I say we watch the fireworks from the train station balcony on Main Street. That way, we can leave the park quickly after the show."

"That sounds like a good idea!" Peach replied, "So, what are we waiting for! Let's get going! Otherwise, we'll miss the fireworks!"

Everyone got up and began to leave. Wario was left with the job of cleaning up, mainly because he was still stuffing his face at the buffet even after everyone else left.

"Ahh... Nuthin' like a little snack before dinner, right, Waluigi?"

"A little snack?" repeated Waluigi, who just hung around because Wario was his partner, "You cleared out the entire buffet table!"

"That was a buffet table?" Wario asked while carrying all the plates to the trash can, "I thought that was a sample platter!"

Wario began dumping all the garbage in the trash can when Waluigi began talking to him again.

"Hey, I'm sure glad Mario never stuck me with Peach!"

"What? She's worse than having Luigi outsmart you?"

"HOW'D YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?"

"You nearly plowed me over when you were chasing him through Tomorrowland."

"Oh, yeah... Anyway, Peach is forcing Mario to go on It's A Small World. I almost feel sorry for the poor guy."

"Yeah... Almost." Wario grunted, shoving the remaining trash into the can, "Well, let's go find something to do to kill time until the fireworks start."

Wario and Waluigi then walked off to go explore the park some more. After they left, the trash can shook a little before Bowser Jr. stuck his head out the top.

"Ugh! Stupid fatso..." Bowser Jr. grumbled, "He nearly suffocated me in there! Anyway, I better go report back to dad!"

Bowser Jr. pulled himself out of the can and ran over to some nearby foliage, where his dad was hiding.

"Well, son?" Bowser began, "Did you find out anything?"

"Yes sir! Turns out that Mario and Peach are going on It's a Small World. We can get rid of Mario AND kidnap the princess at the same time!"

"Good work, son! Let's hurry and get over there and put our evil plans into motion!"

"Wait a second, pops. Why do we need to hurry? The author said we got sent to Tokyo Disneyland, and we already got all the way back in less than one chapter! Doesn't that mean we can take our time if we're just going to the other end of the park?"

"Quiet!" Bowser demanded, cuffing his hand over his offspring's mouth, "What did I tell you about breaking the fourth wall? Quit your yappin' and let's go!"

* * *

"Um, Peach? Do we have to go on It's a Small World? I'm sure you'll like Space Mountain a whole lot more..." 

"Aw, come on, Mario! You can't go to Disney World and not go on It's a Small World!"

"I can..."

Peach didn't seem to hear Mario as she dragged the poor plumber into one of the boats along with a bunch of other families with little kids. After everyone was seated, the boat lurched forward and began moving into the ride.

"Oh boy!" one of the little kids squealed, "We're going on the happiest cruise ever to set sail!"

"Ugh..." Mario groaned, "Forget Mission: Space. This is the ride that needs motion sickness bags."

As the boat entered the first room, that familiar song started playing, much to Mario's dismay.

"_It's a world of laughter a world of tears..._" the song began.

"Momma mia..." Mario mumbled, "they've got the 'tears' part right..."

However, what Mario didn't know was that, further into the ride, the two Bowsers were waiting. In the boat storage room, Bowser Jr. was dumping bob-ombs into one of the boats, while Bowser lit them with his fiery breath.

"Hey, pop..." Bowser Jr. asked, "Do you think this'll work? I mean, I don't want to get blown up again..."

"Don't worry, son!" Bowser replied, "That's the ingenious part of this plan! Were gonna push this boat bomb into the ride right behind Mario's boat! Then, weather or not the plan works, we'll be safe in here rather than out in the ride where the explosion is! HA!"

They waited patiently until they could see Mario's boat float by the boat storage doorway, and then they pushed the bomb-loaded boat into the ride... Well, _tried_ to. Just as the boat was about to cross the doorway and into the ride, the door accidentally slammed shut! So instead of pushing the boatload of bombs into the ride, they pushed it into a "wall", causing the bob-ombs to explode in their faces! Fortunately, the explosion didn't damage anything... Except Bowser and Bowser Jr., of course.

"You know..." Bowser Jr. muttered, wiping the soot off his face, "Given our current track record, I'm not too surprised at this outcome."

"Shut up." Bowser moaned.

* * *

As Mario and Peach got off the ride, Peach noticed Mario didn't look so well. 

"Hey, Mario? Are you ok?"

"..."

"Mario? Are you ok?"

"..."

"Mario?"

"...I CAN'T GET THAT SONG OUT OF MY HEAD!"

Peach couldn't help but giggle at Mario's "dire" predicament.

"Well, I guess that song _is_ catchy..." Peach answered.

"And you know what's worse?" Mario began, "There was that annoying bass in the background in that one room! I swear, it almost sounded like an explosion!"

Editor's Note: Sorry for taking so long to update. I stumbled across a little something known as the Nintendo message boards...


	13. Space Hero

"So... Uh... Daisy, what ride should we go on?"

Luigi was a little nervous; since this was really the first time he was alone with Daisy on the trip.

"Well, how about we look at the park map and find out, hmm?" Daisy replied, pulling out the above said map, "Let's see, what ride we should go on..."

_Oh, man_, Luigi thought to himself, _please don't choose anything mushy or romantic, like that carousel or something. Please, oh please, oh..._

"How 'bout Space Mountain?"

"Er, what?"

"You know... Space Mountain! Come on, you wanted to go on it the minute you got here!"

"I did?"

Daisy, apparently, wasn't really waiting for Luigi to reply to her comment, as she was already dragging him to Tomorrowland. Once there, they went straight to Space Mountain... Only to find the line extremely long.

"Aw, man..." Daisy moaned, "Look how long the line is! It's like 45 minutes long!"

"Oh, what a shame," Luigi muttered, still rather nervous because of his 'neutral relationship' with Daisy, "How about we just go back to Main Street and wait for the rest of the gang?"

Just as Luigi was about to walk off, Daisy grabbed hold of his shoulder, stopping him.

"Well, 45 minutes isn't _that_ long," Daisy began, "Besides, this is one of those Disney rides you just _have_ to go on."

Snapping his fingers in defeat, Luigi followed Daisy into the ride. After about five minutes of waiting, Luigi decided it was about time he got over his fears and tried to talk to Daisy.

"So... Daisy..."

"Hmm?"

"Um... Well... You know... Erm..."

"Yes?"

"Er... I... Uh..."

"Are you ok?"

"Of course! It's just that... Ugh... How to put it..."

Luigi looked down at his watch.

"Wow. It's only been five minutes since we started talking. Funny, eh?"

"Right..."

Luigi smacked himself in the face. _Moron_, he thought to himself, _Pull yourself together! Just gotta get enough courage to talk to her... Just gotta get the courage... Gotta get courage... Get courage... Courage..._

"Hey, Luigi! You going to get in or what?"

Luigi looked up and noticed that they were already at the end of the line, and Daisy was already in the rocket!

"Oh, great..." Luigi mumbled under his breath, "Not only am I a lousy communicator, I'm a slow thinker, too..."

Reluctantly, he climbed into the seat behind Daisy, and the rocket moved away from the loading dock and into the darkness of the ride. Before long, it got really fast, and began dropping, turning, and climbing all around the inside of Space Mountain.

"YAHOO!" Daisy yelled, "ISN'T THIS FUN, LUIGI?"

'NOOO!" Luigi screamed in reply while holding on to his hat to make sure it didn't fall off during the ride.

As the ride ended and went into the unloading dock, Daisy was still giddy from the excitement of the ride. Luigi, however, was still terrified from it. In fact, he was actually holding on for dear life to the seat back in front of him. Unfortunately, this had the appearance of Luigi hugging Daisy.

"Oh... Heh, heh... Sorry..." Luigi sheepishly muttered as he let go of Daisy, "It's just something I do... When I'm... Nervous..."

"Don't worry about it!" Daisy replied, "I use to do that all the time!"

"You... Did?"

"Yeah! I can't even begin to imagine how many things I must have given a choke-hold when that alien attacked my kingdom!"

"Really, now? Gee, I never knew..."

Luigi and Daisy began to have their first 'real' conversation as they took the moving walkway out of Space Mountain and back into Tommorowland.

"Well, eventually that stupid alien broke my castle's defenses and kidnapped me," Daisy continued, "Fortunately, your brother came and saved me."

_Oh, man. She brought up my bro. _Luigi thought, _I guess she thinks of him as her hero, not me. I really got to stop trying. I never did anything for her to deserve her attention, anyway..._

"Oh, no!" Daisy cried, interrupting Luigi's thoughts.

"Wha... What is it?"

"One of my earrings is missing! I think it fell off during the ride! What am I going to do?"

"Oh... I'm so sorry for you..." Luigi began, trying to be as sympathetic as he could get, "I know! I'll go back in and look for it!"

"Thanks, Luigi," Daisy replied as she sat down on a bench, "but I don't think they let you look inside Space Mountain. It's one of those 'Disney Secret' things."

"Aw, gee... I don't know what to do now..."

Luigi, deep in thought, began to scratch the back of his head, as if it helped him to think somehow. Suddenly, he felt something sharp poke the side of his head. Taking his hat off, Luigi discovered that it was Daisy's missing earring! Apparently, when Daisy's earring fell off, it got caught on Luigi's hat!

"Uh... Daisy! I found your earring!"

"You did?"

"Yeah! I went back in the ride and found it!"

Daisy looked at Luigi with a knowing smile.

"Ok, ok... It was stuck on my hat, but I still found it, right?"

"Right..." Daisy answered, walking up to Luigi, "Either way, thank you," she leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek.

"Y-You're w-welcome..." Luigi shuttered, completely shocked, "I-I've never b-been thanked like that b-before..."

"You haven't? Well, there's a first time for everything, right?"

Daisy walked off, leaving Luigi standing there, dumbfounded.

_Wow, I guess I don't have to something big to be a hero. Maybe I'll be able to be with her after all._

Editor's Note: Ok, so it took a real long time to update another chapter again. Don't worry, school's almost out. I'll be able to work on this a lot more once summer vacation begins.


	14. Dead Koopas Tell No Tales

"Yo, Waluigi," Wario snorted, pulling his park map out of the back of his pants, "get over here and help me find out what to do next, will ya?"

"Nah, I'd rather not," Waluigi replied nonchalantly, "I just don't, oh, what's the word? Care."

Waluigi was met with the park map being thrown in his face.

"Guess what? I don't care about what you don't care about. Find something before I throw a lot more than that park map at you."

Grumbling, Waluigi began reading over the descriptions of each ride out loud and waited for Wario's opinion.

"Jungle Cruise: Take a cruise though an African jungle, from a gorilla encampment to an ancient temple..."

"Naw, I hate wildlife lessons."

"Uh, ok... Mickey's PhilharMagic: Join Donald on a magical journey though musical scenes from popular Disney movies..."

"Ugh, do you WANT me to get 'Be Our Guest' stuck in my head again?"

"Fine... Snow White's Scary Adventures:..."

"No."

"Grr... Pirates of the Caribbean: Go on a voyage with pirates as they ravage a port town and steal its treasures..."

"Treasure? We get treasure? We're goin' on that ride! NOW!"

Wario immediately ran off towards Adventureland, leaving Waluigi standing there, chuckling quietly.

"Heh, what a moron... He really thinks he can actually get some of the 'pirate treasure'? I guess his muscles aren't the only things as dense as a rock..."

* * *

_Dead men tell no tales... Dead men tell no tales..._

"Eh, shut up, bone boy! Nothing's standing between me and that treasure! You can't scare..."

"Wario, you realize he's just an audio-animatronic, right?"

"He is? I mean... Of course he is! I was just, uh, playing along!"

"Right..." Waluigi mumbled as their boat passed under the talking skull and crossbones, "I'd love to see how you 'play along' with the drop up ahead."

"Wait a sec... There's a drop?"

Suddenly, the boat lunged forward and started to go downwards very fast. Because they were sitting in the front, and the fact that Wario was as fat as a pig, a humongous wave engulfed the entire boat when they reached the bottom of the drop.

"Ok..." a drenched Waluigi muttered, "that's the last time I go on a flume ride with you..."

"Hey," Wario began sniffing his soaked clothes, "I didn't know they put chlorine in boat rides."

The boat weaved though various scenes of pirate skeletons lying on a beach or one steering a ship or another (presumably the captain) sitting on a pile of gold, the last of which got Wario's attention.

"Hello, gold!" Wario shouted, trying to climb out of the boat, "Come to daddy!"

"What are you, freakin' nuts?" Waluigi yelled, pulling Wario back down into his seat.

"Hey! There's treasure there! Me wants treasure!"

Wario broke free of Waluigi's grip, dived for the treasure... wound up short, and landed in the water with a loud splash.

"Gee... He really _is_ a moron. Oh well, I guess I don't have to deal with him anymore!"

However, as the boat was floating out of the scene, Waluigi heard someone climb onto the back of the boat. After a few more moments, Wario pulled himself back into the seat next to Waluigi, and he had a very sullen look on his face.

"What's the matter, Wario? Did you get in _over your head_? Ha, ha!"

Wario grunted only one word.

"Plastic."

"Eh?"

"The 'treasure' was made of PLASTIC!"

Waluigi began laughing uncontrollably.

"Hey! Stop laughing! It's not funny!"

"Yeah it is! Ha, ha, ha!"

Wario, getting fed up, shoved Waluigi out of the boat and into the water. Waluigi immediately pulled himself out and he and Wario began duking it out in the boat. By the time they settled down, the boat had gotten to the scene where the pirate ship attacks the fort. Unbeknownst to either of the two was the fact that on the ship was (surprise, surprise) Bowser and Bowser Jr.

"Ok, pop," Bowser Jr. began, "are you SURE this time that this plan is fool-proof?"

"For the final time, yes, son!" Bowser replied, pulling away one of the 'fake' pirate cannons on the ship and pushing in a Bullet Bill cannon, "I've set up hundreds... no, _millions_ of Bullet Bill cannons before, and this one is no different!"

"Um... Still, I'm gonna stand over _here_ while you shoot that thing."

Bowser Jr. backed off to the opposite end of the ship while Bowser stood over the cannon, aiming at Wario and Waluigi in the little boat below. Soon, he had them right in his crosshairs. He set off the cannon... when it simply exploded right in his face! Wario and Waluigi's boat continued by, and Bowser Jr. walked up to his father, who was still coughing up smoke.

"See, pop? _That's_ why I stood back and let you shoot the cannon."

"Uh... Yeah... Son, I think you just gave me an idea. Next time I need to blow anything up, I'm gettin' one of my koopas to do it!"


	15. Nighty Night!

Crowds began forming in the middle of Main Street, obviously waiting to watch the fireworks. Fortunately, Mario and Peach got there early enough to claim the best viewing spot: from the second floor of the train station. After sitting up there for about half an hour talking about their vacation so far, Mario started to worry about when the rest of the group would arrive.

"Uh, Peach?" Mario asked, glancing at his watch, "When do you think everyone else will get here? The fireworks start in five minutes!"

"Oh, I'm sure they're all fine. In fact, here come Luigi and Daisy now!"

Mario turned and, sure enough, he saw Luigi and Daisy coming up the stairs to join them.

"Hey guys!" Mario greeted, "How was your time together?"

"What? Oh, yeah... It was pretty good..." Luigi replied, who seemed to be busy thinking of something else, "So, um... When do the fireworks start?"

"In only a couple of minutes. By the way, did you see Wario and Waluigi anywhere?"

"No, not really," Daisy answered, "They probably got themselves lost or some--- Oh, there they are!... What on earth?..."

Wario and Waluigi could be seen walking up to the rest of the group, but there was something odd about them: They were both soaking wet!

"Goodness!" Peach shouted, "What happened?"

"You know..." Daisy mumbled, "I don't think I even _want_ to know..."

Soon afterwards, the fireworks started. Needless to say, it was very impressive. Everyone, even Wario and Waluigi, seemed to enjoy the experience. After the show, a huge mass of people began flooding out of the park. Luckily, Mario and the gang were able to get out pretty quick, since they were right by the exit to begin with. Still, there was a semi-long line for the monorail, and Wario seemed to be the most vocal about it.

"Aw, come on!" Wario moaned, "How much longer are we just gonna stand here? Isn't this line gonna move at ALL? Come on, let's move it! Why won't this line just---"

"Hey, Wario!" Mario shouted, "Are you going to stop yelling and get on the monorail, or what?"

Wario turned and noticed that the line _had_ moved, and everyone else was on the monorail already!

"Woah! Hey! Wait up guys!" Wario called as he ran into the monorail, "Gee, what's the big idea? The line moved to fast! How am I supposed to keep up with the line moving that fast? I can't! Why, I oughta..."

While Wario continued to ramble on, Peach leaned over to Mario and whispered in his ear.

"We had our chance. We could've left him behind."

"Yeah, well," Mario replied, "he's good for comic relief. I think we'll keep him."

"What? Are you guys talking about me? I bet you are! Why you little..."

* * *

After the monorail ride, the group finally reached the hotel that they were staying at: The Grand Floridian Resort. However, as Peach was checking in, they stumbled across a _slight_ problem.

"Ok," the bellhop began, "now that you're all checked in, I'll take your luggage and lead you to your rooms."

"Wait a sec..." Mario interrupted, "Luggage?"

Everyone looked around, noticing that none of them had their suitcases! That's when Luigi remembered what happened.

"We parked our car in the Magic Kingdom parking lot!" Luigi explained, "And when we left, we took the monorail straight to the hotel! That means that the car, with all our stuff, is still at the Magic Kingdom!"

"Good job, Sherlock!" Waluigi congratulated sarcastically, "And I nominate that _you_ go back and get it, since you figured it out first."

"What? Why me? I can't---"

Luigi paused for a moment and looked at Daisy.

"Alright. Fine. I'll go."

Luigi then turned around and walked back towards the monorail.

"Well," the bellhop began again, "I'll show you to your rooms, and then I'll wait here for him to come back so I can help him with the luggage. Now, follow me."

* * *

Mario was in the middle of taking a shower when he heard someone enter his hotel room.

"So, welcome back, Luigi." Mario called out over the noise of the running water, "Did you bring up our suitcases?"

"How'd you know it was me?"

"Who else could it be?"

"Peach, Daisy, Wario, or Waluigi..."

"They're all in the other two rooms."

"I see..."

At this point, Luigi came into the bathroom and began brushing his teeth.

"Oh, boy," Luigi started as he spit out some excess toothpaste, "I thought I was tired _before_ going back for the car, but now... Ugh... I'm beat. I need to go to bed before I pass out! I'm not sure why I volunteered to go back and get all the stuff in the first place!"

"I bet it was for Daisy." Mario answered.

"WHAT?" Luigi gasped, nearly choking on his toothbrush.

"Aw, come on! Tell me it wasn't obvious!" Mario continued, "You weren't going to do it until you realized that Daisy's stuff was in there! Why don't you just build up the courage and ask her out already?"

Luigi didn't reply. Instead, he walked over and flushed the toilet.

"YE-OWWW!" Mario screamed as the shower water suddenly got extremely hot.

"Good-night, Mario." Luigi sighed as he left the bathroom and went to bed.


	16. Spaceship Golf Ball

"Hey, Luigi, wake up."

"Zzz... ugh... huh?"

"Wake up. We're going to Epcot today."

"Uh... wha time iz it?"

"6:00 AM."

"WAH? Jus 10 more minutes... Zzz..."

Luigi immediately drifted back off into a deep sleep while Mario continued to unsuccessfully wake him up by shaking him. Undaunted, Mario pulled out an air horn from seemingly nowhere and blew it right in Luigi's ear. Obviously, this pretty much woke Luigi up.

"WHY'D YA DO THAT?" Luigi screamed, now sitting up on the floor since he had fallen out of bed.

"To get back at you for making the water get really hot during my shower last night."

While Luigi slowly got up (and checked to see if he wasn't deaf) Mario walked over to the nearby end table and grabbed a bagel and a cup of coffee that was lying there.

"By the way, Luigi, I got us some breakfast from the concierge. You want something? I got a muffin, a doughnut, an apple, and some O.J."

"I'll have the apple and the orange juice, thanks."

"Sure thing!" Mario replied as he tossed the apple and handed the orange juice to his brother, "I'm surprised you didn't want a doughnut. Guess I'll have to eat it then!"

"Yeah, well, remember, I'm the skinny one!"

Luigi was met with a flying doughnut that hit him in the face and then hung off his nose.

* * *

When the Mario Bros. walked down to the lobby, Peach and Daisy were already there waiting for them.

"Hey boys!" Daisy called out, "What took ya? We've been waiting here for 15 minutes!"

"We were taking our time with breakfast..." Mario answered as he eyed his brother, who was still trying to get doughnut glaze out of his moustache.

"Anyway, that means we only have to wait for Wario and Waluigi," Peach stated, "I wonder where they are?"

"Here they come now," Luigi muttered, "I can here them yelling from here!"

Sure enough, Wario and Waluigi were walking down the hallway to the lobby, whining and complaining all the way.

"I can't believe it!" Wario yelled, "I was in the middle of a wonderful dream (about money, of course), when all of the sudden, this moron calls us up on the hotel phone and claims _we_ made a 6:00 wake-up call! We did not!"

"Yeah!" Waluigi agreed, "I bet I know who it was that set it, too! It was Peach! She's a regular Disney Nazi!"

"Ahem..." Peach interrupted.

"I mean uh..." Waluigi stuttered, realizing Peach had heard him, "Did I say 'Peach'? I meant... Uh... Zelda! Krystal! Samus!... Amy!... ... Tifa!... ... ... Crud..."

"Right..." Daisy trailed off, "So, how about we set off now, hmm? Monorail's right over there."

"Fine with me." Mario replied, "Although, I must admit, it was fun just watching the Two Stooges perform."

The small group began to walk towards the monorail, while Waluigi was still trying to come up with and acceptable alibi.

"I said Jody! No wait, Lara! Uh... Yuna?..."

* * *

About 20 minutes (and one monorail line change) later, and the gang were just walking up to the front gates, where Epcot's grand trademark, the giant 'golf ball' Spaceship Earth, stood proudly before them, complete with a Mickey Mouse hand and wand on top. Since they got there before park opened, Peach decided to quiz everyone on some knowledge she picked up in her guidebook while they waited.

"Ok," she began, "What was Epcot originally an acronym for?"

"Uh..." Wario mumbled, "European Pancakes Come Oven Toasted?"

"What? No! It stood for Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow! Next question: What is the tallest attraction in Walt Disney World?"

"Hmm... I remember reading something about this..." Mario began, "It's the Tower of Terror, right? It's 199 feet tall because that's the highest it can be without requiring a big, red warning light at the top for low flying airplanes, right?"

"Technically, your right, but that wand on Spaceship Earth they added recently is 257 feet tall, so Spaceship Earth is the tallest."

Mario glanced up and noticed that the wand, indeed, had a warning light on top, a sure sign that it was taller than the Tower of Terror.

"Aw, dang..." Mario moaned, "I forgot about that..."

"Hey, I think the park is opening!" Luigi shouted.

He was right. The line to get in was moving, and it wasn't long before they were all inside the park.

"Well, first things first," Peach started, "I say we go on the ride that is right in front of us: Spaceship Earth."

"Heh, what's it about? The history of golf balls?" Waluigi grunted.

"Uh... No. It's about communication." Peach explained.

"Oh, well, I was close."

Since the park had just opened, getting on the attraction was no problem. As everyone boarded the 'Time Machines', Wario, naturally, made even the simplest concept a major ordeal.

"Hey, this thing is moving foward," Wario observed as he stepped onto the moving walkway running alongside the ride vehicles, "Hmm..."

Suddenly, Wario turned around and started to run the other way.

"Oh! Look at me! I'm running the wrong way on the moving walkway! I'm so bad!"

"We're so very impressed," Daisy sighed, who was sitting in the back of one vehicle with Peach, and the Mario Bros. in the front, "Now, how about you stop making yourself look like an idiot and get in?"

"Geez, you people have no sense of humor..."

Wario climbed into the vehicle Waluigi was in, but due to the amount of time he wasted, the door began to slide shut as he got in and pinched his leg!

"YEOW!" Wario screamed as he tried to free his leg. After about five seconds of pulling, he managed to free it... and he fell over and landed on his butt on the floor of the 'Time Machine'. Everyone, Waluigi included, started laughing at his stupidity.

"Hey! It's not funny! Stop laughing!"

"I thought you said we had no sense of humor," Mario reminded.

"Yeah, well... Oh, shut up."

As the ride proceeded, the narrator began describing the evolution of communication, from caveman drawings to the internet. While Mario, Luigi, Peach, and Daisy were interested in it, Wario and Waluigi were bored out of their wits.

"We're bored!" Both 'Wario Bros.' cried in unison, "How much longer is this ride?"

"Stop complaining you guys!" Peach replied non-too-happily, "The cars haven't even turned around yet! We're only about half way through!"

"... ... ... We're bored! How much longer is this ride?"

This continued throughout the rest of the attraction, much to the dismay of everyone else. When the ride finally ended, the 'Wario Bros.' didn't skip a beat.

"So," they both said in unison, "What are we going on next?"

Mario just shook his head and sighed.

"Visiting an educational park with a bunch of dummies... This is going to be a loooong day..."


	17. Koopa, We Have a Problem

"Ok, Peach, help me out here," Mario began as he pulled out the park map, "You studied up on Epcot, what rides get the longest lines the fastest?"

"Well, they would be Test Track, Mission: Space, and their newest ride: Soarin'. Unfortunately, I don't really know which of those to go on first. However, I do know who to ask!"

Peach pulled out her Pal Mickey doll and showed it off to everyone.

"Don't tell me you actually spent money on that thing..." Wario grumbled.

"So, Mickey," Peach asked, squeezing Mickey's tummy (and completely ignoring Wario's remark), "What ride should we go on first: Test Track, Mission: Space, or Soarin'?"

"Grab a Fastpass for Test Track and ride Mission: Space while you wait!" Mickey explained, "You can grab a Fastpass for Soarin' later, and visit the rest of The Land pavilion until it's time!"

"Hey! That's-a pretty cool!" Luigi complimented.

"Heh... Not bad..." Waluigi mumbled, "... For a stuffed rat."

Again, Peach ignored Waluigi's comment and walked towards the Test Track's Fastpass vendor.

"We're all going on this ride, correct?" Peach assured.

Everyone nodded.

"Ok then, I'll just put our park tickets in here and..."

Soon, Peach had six Fastpass tickets for about 30 minutes from their current time.

"Alright, that should be enough time to ride Mission: Space!" Mario exclaimed.

As the group approached the ride, Wario noticed a warning sign outside the attraction.

"Hey, Waluigi!" Wario called, "I guess you can't go on this ride!"

"What? Why?" Waluigi shouted, flabbergasted.

"It says here that 'people who suffer from motion sickness should not ride this attraction'! And you threw up on the spinning tea cups! Heck, you nearly puked on the air plane coming here!"

"Oh yeah? Look again, fatso! It also says 'this ride contains harnesses that may not work for people with certain body types'! Translation: You're too fat to go on!"

"WHAT? WHY YOU LITTLE..."

Wario and Waluigi immediately began brawling it out right in front of the attraction, while the other four just stood there.

"Just what's with those freaks?" Daisy asked disgusted.

"I don't know..." Luigi replied, shaking his head as he walked inside, "I've given up asking."

* * *

Once inside Mario, Luigi, Peach, and Daisy were quickly 'debriefed' on their 'flight training' for a mission to Mars. They were also assigned different roles on the mission: Mario was the commander, Luigi was the pilot, Peach was the engineer (although she knew nothing about mechanics!) and Daisy was the navigator. Soon, they climbed into the flight simulators and prepared for lift-off! However, as the simulators closed, who should show up from hiding but Bowser and Bowser Jr., proving they were not at all demotivated from their failures the day before.

"Ok, son," Bowser began, "I have a plan that will send those pesky plumbers through the roof... literally!"

Bowser pulled out his newest instrument of torture: an ordinary screwdriver.

"Um, Pop? How's a screwdriver gonna send those Mario Bros. packing?"

"Simple! This ride spins those simulator things around and around to create the effect of a space shuttle taking off. As soon as I find the screws that are holding this thing together, all I have to do is loosen the ones on the simulator that the Mario Brothers are in, and, eventually, it will come flying off while it's spinning... and those plumbers will still be in it!"

"Oh, I get it! Heh, heh! How about we send those brothers into orbit?"

Bowser walked up to the simulator and began looking for the screws.

"Let's see they gotta be around here somewhere... Dang! Where are they?"

"You can't find the screws? Do you think maybe they welded the ride together so the screws couldn't come loose by accident?"

"Oh, yeah... I never thought about that..."

While Bowser was pondering the simplicity of his error, the ride started to spin... And Bowser was right in its way! With an unpleasant 'Thump!', Bowser suddenly found himself plastered to the side of the ride! After a few rotations, Bowser managed to gain enough momentum to send _himself_ through the roof!

"Uh... Huston, we have lift-off, Roger!" Bowser Jr. commented as he ran after his far-flung father.

Meanwhile, inside the ride, Mario, Luigi, Peach, and Daisy were having a pretty wild time, too (but, unlike Bowser, they were much safer!).

"Yahoo!" Mario shouted, "It's practically Zero-G in here! I think my hat is floating a few inches off my head!"

"MMMOOOOMMMMAAAA------MMMMIIIIIAAAA!" Luigi screamed.

"Ugh! Mario, I don't feel too good!" Peach cried.

"Yeah! I'm agreeing with Mario! This ride is awesome!" Daisy yelled.

As the ride continued the four 'astronauts' found themselves in some dangerous situations, mainly in the landing, as the space shuttle nearly overran the runway and fell off a cliff! Of course, they didn't (this is Disney, after all!), and flight control called their mission a success! As the four of them climbed out and walked towards the exit (not observing the hole in the ceiling Bowser left behind), two of them were practically running because of the adrenalin rush, while the other two were just trying to walk straight.

"Hey, Luigi!" Mario started, "Wasn't that ride great or what?"

"Ugh... Never... going... on... that... again..." was all Luigi could get out.

"Phew... Same... here..." Peach agreed.

"Gee, you both are wimps!" Daisy playfully teased, "And look at the time! We can go on Test Track now!"

Luigi and Peach stood there for a moment, and then both performed an anime fall.

* * *

Once outside, Mario found Wario and Waluigi right where they left them (and they were _still_ fighting each other, unbelievably) and the six of them went over to Test Track. Thanks to the Fastpasses, they barely had to wait at all, and were quickly loaded into the six-person vehicles. Unfortunately, since the seats were arranged into two rows of three, that meant that someone had to sit with the 'Wario Bros.' Daisy volunteered, sitting between the two of them to make sure they wouldn't start yelling at each other again. Mario, meanwhile, sat in the driver's seat with Peach sitting next to him and Luigi on the end.

"Ok, does everyone have their seatbelts fastened?" a Cast Member asked, inspecting the car before it drove off.

"I'm trying to fasten it," Daisy began, "But Wario's fat butt is covering where I buckle it!"

"Well, excussssse me, Princess!" Wario mumbled sarcastically as he scooted over a bit, allowing Daisy to fasten her belt.

"All right, here we go!" Mario shouted as the car drove off. First up on the test was the hill climb, followed by suspension and breaking. Then they entered the extreme climate chambers.

The first room was extreme heat.

"It's too hot in here!" Wario and Waluigi whined.

The next room was extreme cold.

"It's too cold in here!"

The final room was corrosion (acid rain).

"It's too wet---"

They were cut short by Daisy bopping them both over the head at the same time.

"Ow... What?"

After a steering and handling test, it was time for the infamous barrier test. However, right before the car crashed into the barrier, the wall opened, and the car came blasting out onto the outside track at 65 mph! After a minute or so of this, the car came driving back into the building, just in time for thermal imaging.

"Hmm... Wario and Waluigi are mostly red in that thermal image!" Luigi pointed out, "It must be because they're full of hot air!"

"HEY! KNOCK IT OFF!"

Luigi was still trying to fend off the 'Wario Bros.' as they got off the ride and headed towards the exit. However, before they left, Peach noticed something.

"Hey guys, look!" Peach called, pointing at a bunch of computer monitors hanging above a small shop, "They took our picture during the ride, and we can buy it, if we like!"

Mario looked up and observed that Peach was right. On one of the monitors was a picture of the six of them in the car during the fast part, and it was a pretty cool picture too.

"Ok, that sounds like a good idea!" Mario answered, "Let's get one and bring it home as a souvenir!"

Before long, Mario was carrying a small bag that contained the picture, which would serve as a fond memento of a wonderful vacation.


	18. Pick Your Poison

As they left the Test Track building and headed towards The Land pavilion, Mario stopped and glanced at the park map.

"Why don't we check out Innoventions first?" Mario suggested, "It's on the way to The Land."

"That sounds like a good idea," Peach replied, "Let's go!"

Upon entering Innoventions, the group started to somewhat dissolve and each of them began to look at different things.

"Wow, this is pretty cool!" Luigi exclaimed, looking at a display about product testing, "I'm sure E. Gadd would get a kick out of this!"

"Now _that's_ the way to get around the parks!" Daisy commented when she saw a Cast Member go by on a weird, scooter-like contraption, "What is that thing?"

"It's called a Segway," the Cast Member explained, "you can control where it goes simply by shifting your body weight."

"Pretty impressive! Right, Peach?... Peach?"

Peach, meanwhile, was touring 'The House of the Future,' which contained dozens of high-tech gadgetry for use around the home.

"Hmm... I should really get some of this stuff for the castle..." Peach thought to herself as she looked at all of the stuff on display in the house.

"Hmph..." Wario grumbled, sitting on a bench waiting for the others to finish up, totally uninterested, "All I see here is advertisements for a bunch of expensive junk no one in their right mind would buy..."

"Hey, Waluigi!" Mario called out, since he was the only other one nearby, "Check this out!"

Waluigi walked over to where Mario was standing. It turns out Mario was playing a video game on display in the Disney Interactive part of Innoventions.

"You rang?" Waluigi grunted.

"Look at this cool game I'm playing! You play as some kid named Sora and you go to all these lands biased on Disney movies and save them from these bad guys called the Heartless! The game's called Kingdom Hearts or something like that."

"Say..." Waluigi observed, "Isn't that a Playstation 2 controller?"

Mario glanced down and noticed that, indeed, it was a PS2 controller he was using.

"Erm... Excuse me for a moment," Mario muttered as he ran off to the bathroom to wash his hands.

"Heh, what a loser."

The group eventually got back together and left the Innoventions building. However, during the time they were in there, it was starting to get hot under the Florida sun.

"Oh, man, am I hot..." Wario began, "I'm blazing. I'm on fire. I'm burning up...

"Stop whining about the heat, we'll go somewhere that's air conditioned soon!" Daisy yelled in response.

"The heat? I was talking about my amazing good looks."

"... Well, then, permit me to be somewhat cold..."

"Woah, guys!" Luigi interrupted, "why is there an igloo over there?"

Everyone turned and saw what Luigi was pointing at. Sure enough, there was an Igloo (fake, of course) built adjacent to the Innoventions building, and a snowmobile was right next to it! Above the entrance was the name of the building: Ice Station Cool.

"Hmm... That looks interesting..." Mario pondered, "How about we go in and see what it's all about?"

"Well, ok," Peach answered, "I just hope Soarin' doesn't run out of Fastpasses..."

The group entered Ice Station Cool and discovered that it was, indeed, cool... In fact, it was downright freezing!

"Brr... Ok... I'd... rather... be... out... in... the... heat... right... now..." Waluigi muttered, "It's... really... cold... in... here..."

Waluigi, without warning, suddenly stiffened up and fell flat on his face!

"Heh, look! Waluigi turned into a dork-sicle!" Wario announced, "Ha, ha! What a 'stiff!'"

"You're hilarious, Wario..." Daisy moaned.

After winding through the narrow snow tunnels in the beginning of Ice Station Cool, the route led into a large room full of Coca-Cola products. It was bit warmer, so Waluigi thawed out, but it was still refreshingly cool.

"What the heck?" Wario sputtered, "This place is full of Coke junk! What is it with Disney and advertising stuff to death?"

"Hey, Wario..." Mario taunted, "Isn't that free Coca-Cola I see over there?"

Wario turned towards Mario and saw a bunch of soda dispensers giving out free Coke!

"WOAH! If it's free, to heck with what I just said! OUTA MY WAY!"

Wario ran over to the soda dispensers (pushing about twenty little kids out of his way), stuck his head under one of the nozzles, and began flooding his mouth with Coke. However, after a few seconds, Wario's eyes widened and he immediately began spiting all the soda back up!

"BLEH! WHAT THE HECK IS THIS STUFF? THIS ISN'T COKE! THIS TASTES LIKE GOOMBA POOP!"

Luigi walked up and began to observe what exactly the machines were giving out.

"Ah, here's the problem, Wario!" Luigi explained, "All the sodas here are samples of Coca-Cola from around the world! I think you just drank a sample of Mexican Coke."

"Phff... No kiddin'! It tastes like they put Mexican water in it! Somebody gimme a breath mint!"

While Wario was wallowing in agony, Mario got two cups of Italian Coke and handed one of them to his brother.

"Here, you go, Luigi. Some Italian drinks for Italian bros."

"Thanks, Mario. Here's to the mother country, eh?"

Mario and Luigi took a sip... and immediately, like Wario, began to spit it back out.

"Ugh!" Luigi shuttered, "I guess some things are better left Americanized, huh?"

"Urp... Agreed..." Mario moaned.

"Hey, Mario!" Peach called, "You should try the Japanese Coca-Cola! It's really good!"

"Yeah!" Daisy agreed, "It's got a pretty cool fruity flavor!"

Hesitantly, the Mario Bros. both got a cup of the Japanese coke and took a sip. As it turned out, Peach was right: It was great!

"Wow, this stuff's-a pretty good!" Luigi commented.

"Yeah... Interesting... We thought the Italian Coke tasted horrible but we liked the Japanese Coke... I wonder why? We're Italians, not Japanese!"

Mario and Luigi paused for a moment, and looked towards 'the fourth wall'.

"Eh, never mind," Mario mumbled, "It's not a big deal."

Waluigi, meanwhile, was busy hatching up another little mean plot. He was filling up a cup with _all_ the different Coca-Colas, and then approached Luigi, who had placed his cup of Japanese Coke on the counter.

"Hey, Luigi, ol' pal!" Waluigi greeted his rival as he placed his Coke mix on the counter next to Luigi's Coke, "How's it going?"

"Uh... Pretty good," Luigi replied, "And you?"

"Oh, I've been doing fine!"

Making sure Luigi wasn't looking, Waluigi made his move: He swapped his Coke with Luigi's.

"So, um, what's been your favorite part of the trip so far?" Luigi asked.

"Well, I guess it's been whenever Wario makes a complete idiot out of himself, like just right now! Heh, what a buffoon... He drinks all that soda and he doesn't even realize that it's going to taste awful! Only a moron would drink horrible soda!"

"I wouldn't say that... I drank some Italian Coke thinking I would like it because I'm Italian, but I was wrong. At least I didn't gulp a gallon of it down in one second like Wario did..."

Luigi casually glanced down at the counter and noticed something odd. The Japanese Coke, being fruit flavored, was pink in color, but now his Coke looked like black sludge! Luigi immediately figured out what Waluigi was trying to do and, making sure _he_ wasn't looking, switched the cups back.

"... You see, I only took a sip," Luigi continued casually, "If I had drank the entire cup, _then_ I could probably be called an idiot."

"Yeah! Only a complete moron wouldn't be cautious when drinking this stuff!"

Waluigi grabbed his cup and, thinking it was Luigi's 'safe' Coke, drank the whole thing. Luigi couldn't help but laugh as Waluigi began making the weirdest face he ever saw.

"Ugh... Uh... excuse me... for a... urp... moment..."

Waluigi blasted out of Ice Station Cool, frantically searching for a restroom to throw up in.

"Hey, what's his problem?" Daisy asked.

"Oh, nothing..." Luigi answered, "I just gave him a taste of his own medicine... Literally."


	19. Earth and Sky

Mario and the gang finally reached The Land pavilion at about lunchtime. The first thing they did was hurry down to Soarin' to see if they were still giving out Fastpasses. Fortunately, not only were Fastpasses still being given out, but the time they were for was only two hours away! Mario grabbed six of them and returned to the group to discuss what to do in the meantime.

"I guess we should stop for lunch, right?" Luigi suggested, "The only thing I had all day was an apple and some orange juice."

"And a doughnut!" Mario reminded.

"Uh... Yeah... A doughnut..."

"How about we go on Living with the Land?" Peach brought up, "It's a boat ride through a greenhouse where Disney grows all the food they use in the restaurants!"

"This isn't another stupid educational ride, is it?" Wario moaned, "The _last_ thing I want to do is go on a ride about a bunch of freakin' plants!"

"Yeah!" Waluigi agreed, "Why on earth would we want to go on a ride like that?"

"Because you get to see 20 pound eggplants," Daisy replied, knowing that Waluigi loved eggplant.

"Oh, well, when you put it that way..." Waluigi answered as he began to walk towards the entrance of the ride.

"Hey! Wait a sec!" Wario interrupted, "I'm not goin' on unless there's a 20 pound garlic as well! There IS a 20 pound garlic, right?"

* * *

As it turned out, there wasn't a 20 pound eggplant OR garlic in the ride, which bummed out the 'Wario Bros.' a lot. Not surprisingly, it didn't take them long before they dozed off on the ride. 

"Now, we always look for new ways to grow crops here at The Land," the tour guide explained, "And some of them are quite unique, like when we..."

"... ZZZ..." Wario and Waluigi snored.

"Wario!" Peach hissed, "Wake up! You're not supposed to be sleeping on the ride!"

"Eww! Waluigi!" Daisy shouted, "Stop drooling on my shoulder! That's disgusting!"

They didn't seem to hear them, much to everyone's embarrassment, and they continued to sleep though out the entire ride. In fact, when they reached the end, Mario and Luigi had to _drag_ Wario and Waluigi off the boat! Fortunately, getting dragged around seemed to be enough to wake them up, and they were as surly as ever.

"So, when do we eat?" Waluigi demanded, "I'm starving!"

"Let's see..." Mario replied looking at the park map for dining locations, "Ah! Here we go! The Garden Grill! It's a sit-down restaurant on the second floor. How 'bout we take a look?"

The group walked up stairs to the restaurant and quickly got seated. As they were looking at the menu deciding what to order, Wario noticed something odd.

"Hey! What is this, a vegetarian restaurant? There's nothin' but greens on here? I want bacon, not broccoli!"

"It's a restaurant in a pavilion about the land..." Mario replied, "What did you expect?"

"Grr... Fine... I guess I'll just have to starve... Next time, I'm looking at the menu BEFORE I sit down!"

"You know, did anyone else notice that this restaurant is moving?" Daisy asked.

She was right. The whole restaurant was actually on a rotating platform! As it slowly moved clockwise around, a window appeared that overlooked part of Living with the Land.

"Hey! What's that down there?" Wario asked, "Why didn't we go on that ride?"

"We, uh... _did_ go on that ride, Wario..." Luigi mumbled, "You were asleep for the entire thing..."

"I was?"

Wario paused and thought for a moment. Suddenly, he pressed his face against the window and started making faces at the people in the ride below! He continued to do this until the restaurant moved back away from the window, to which he slumped sullenly back into his seat.

"I'm bored. When's the food gonna get here?"

Everyone proceeded to moan in unison.

* * *

"Well, that was a good lunch," Peach complimented as they left the Garden Grill, "That salad was delicious, and low on fat, too!" 

"I don't think you really have to worry about your weight, Peach," Daisy replied, "You look fine just the way you are! Wario, on the other hand..."

She turned and looked at Wario, who was munching on three turkey legs at the same time.

"Hey, wait a second, where'd you get the turkey legs?" Daisy asked.

"BURP! Frontierland." Wario belched.

"What? We're in Epcot, not the Magic Kingdom! What do you mean Frontierland?"

"It's from yesterday. I bought a few extra and stored them away in case I got hungry and there was no _good_ food around," Wario explained, pointing to a greasy back pocket, "Can you believe the Florida sun kept them warm all this time?"

"UGH! Forget I asked!"

"Heh, you think that's bad?" Waluigi began, "You should've seen the time he tried to store a cheeseburger in there! The cheese went bad and it smelled like he was farting where ever he went! And then, the beef juice started to stain his paints brown, and it looked like---"

"Ok! Too much information!" Luigi interrupted, "How about we change the subject... Mario! Is it time to go on Soarin' yet?"

"Yep!" came Mario's reply, "Let's-a go!"

Mario and the gang walked over to the entrance of Soarin' (which looked like a real airport terminal), showed the Cast Member their Fastpasses and got into the Fastpass queue. As they moved quickly past the people in the stand-by line, Wario couldn't resist opening his big fat trap again.

"Look at all those losers waiting in that long line!" Wario shouted, "I bet they feel like they're really at an airport trying to check in! HA!"

"Yeah!" Waluigi agreed, "Or maybe they feel like they're in the security checkpoint line! Or customs!"

"No, it's more like the check-in line. I don't see a metal detector anywhere."

"Good point... And I don't see the freak who pats people down if the detector beeps."

"Well, it's not always a freak. One time when I was going through security, it was this hot chick, so I left all my change in my pocket so the detector would go off and she would have to... Hey, where'd everyone go?"

Wario and Waluigi looked around and saw the rest of their group _much_ further down the line. Franticly, they started running, trying to catch up with them.

"Whew... Hey..." Waluigi panted when they caught up, "Why didn't you wait for us?"

"We didn't have the time," Mario replied sarcastically, "If we waited for you, the park would close before we'd get on the ride."

"What are you talking about?" Wario questioned, "The park doesn't close for another nine hours... WAIT A SECOND! WHAT ARE YOU INSINUATING?"

"Oh... Nothing..."

Eventually, they entered a room with a bunch of seats strapped to the bottom of a 'hanglider'. As they took their seats (front and center, just as Peach had requested), Luigi glanced up that the gigantic IMAX screen in front of them.

"Wow... I gotta get one of those for my mansion." Luigi commented, "Imagine watching Episode III on that thing."

"_Soarin' to tower, you are clear for take-off,_" came a voice from an intercom. Suddenly, the seats rose up off the ground and moved towards the screen! Then, the screen started to display amazing aerial footage as the hangliders soared over the landscape.

"Woah! I **really** need to get one of these for my mansion!"

"Wow, that's so cool!" Daisy yelled, "Look! There's the Golden Gate Bridge!"

"Yahoo!" Mario hollered, "Hey, that's Yellowstone down there!"

"Now we're in an orange grove!" Peach shouted, "I can even smell the oranges!"

"Oh, please..." Wario moaned, "You're all acting like we're really flying around. This is just a fancy-shmancy IMAX movie. See, I can prove it to you: If I look down, I can see the ground, the _real_ ground, mind you, right beneath us!"

Wario leaned far over, as to prove his point, when he lost his balance and FELL to the ground below! _Carefully_ looking over, Waluigi saw Wario in a huge crater in the middle of the floor!

"Well, I guess he was right..." Waluigi mumbled, "He proved it without _fall_... I mean, _fail_."


	20. iMario en Espanol!

After riding Soarin', Mario began to look at the park map to decide where to go next.

"Let's see... How about the Imagination Pavilion?" Mario suggested.

"No way!" Wario protested, "Purple dragons scare me!"

"Ok... How about The Living Seas?"

"Oh, boy! A giant fish tank! I _so _want to see that!... Not."

"Well, then..." Mario concluded, folding the map back up, "I guess we'll have to move on to the second half of the park, then: World Showcase!"

"Eh? What's that?" Waluigi asked.

"It's eleven pavilions that represent eleven different countries around the world, all located around a lagoon." Mario explained

"It's sorta like _Around the World in Eighty Minutes_." Luigi concluded.

"Sounds good to me!" Peach agreed, "Where do we begin?"

"South of the border!" Mario exclaimed.

"Uh... What's that? The Beanbean Kingdom?" Wario mumbled.

"I think he means Mexico." Daisy replied.

"Oh, I knew that... Really..."

Proceeding to the Mexican pavilion, the group saw a quaint little Mexican restaurant situated on the lagoon, and a giant Aztec temple across from it.

"Hey, that looks like the temple I found all that treasure in a little while back!" Wario commented, "I wonder if there's any loot in that one I can plunder! Ha ha!"

"I doubt it," Mario retorted, "the entire pavilion, save the restaurant out on the lagoon, is in there!"

"Oh, I knew that... Really..."

"Didn't you say that about two seconds ago?" Luigi observed.

"Well, I know a lot! So there!"

"Uh, huh..."

The gang entered the pavilion, and was greeted with what looked like a Mexican marketplace under a night sky, but it was indoors!

"Hey, guys!" Peach began, "Did you know that the Cast Members that work the World Showcase Pavilions have to come from or had their parents come from the country that is represented?"

"Interesting..." Mario thought out loud, "So, for example, Disney hired Cast Members from Mexico to work here at the Mexico pavilion?"

"Yep!" Peach replied.

"So... Does that mean that the guys outside know how to make a _really_ good taco?" Wairo asked.

"Is food the only thing you ever think about?" Daisy shouted.

"No... I think about money an awful lot, too."

"Sigh... Forget I asked..."

As they walked around the indoor marketplace, they approached the entrance to an attraction that was inside the pavilion. Wario tried to read the name of it without much success.

"_El..._ Uh... _El Reeoh_... Grr... _El Reho del Tyam_... ARGH! What's wrong with this blasted sign? It's all gibberish! What's this stupid thing supposed to say, anyway?"

"_El Rio del Tiempo_," Mario quickly and fluently read, "that translates from Spanish to 'The River of Time'."

"Spanish? How am _I_ supposed to know how to read Spanish, anyway? Everyone should just speak English!"

Mario leaned over to Peach and whispered in her ear.

"Heh... _Wario no habla o lee español._"

"_Si, si,_" Peach agreed, "_El es muy bruto...¡y feo!_"

"HEY!" Wario yelled, "I HEARD MY NAME IN THERE! ARE YOU INSULTING ME?"

"Uh... No..." Mario replied, "Just brushing up on my Spanish..."

"Well, that better be all you're doing, or else I'll... Punch-o your el face-o... in... o," Wario warned, pitifully attempting to use Spanish.

Eventually, the group entered the attraction. After climbing into the boat and casting off, they went by the marketplace and entered a cave in the nearby "jungle". Inside, video clips of Indians doing traditional dances were displayed on the walls.

"Hmm..." Luigi mused, "Hey, Mario, their moves are a _tad_ different than the ones you used during that Music Key fiasco, huh?"

"Let's not bring that up..." Waluigi mumbled.

As they continued onward, the boat entered a room that made Mario groan: It was full of child puppets singing.

"Momma-mia..." Mario moaned, "It's like Small World all over again..."

Mario dug his head between his legs and covered his ears until the boat left the room. The next room showed video clips of people vacationing in Mexico, doing all sorts of things like swimming, cliff-diving, and hangliding.

"Peach, maybe we should consider going to Mexico on our next trip!" Daisy suggested, "It looks like there's a bunch of cool stuff we could do there!"

"That does sound like a good idea..." Peach answered, "But don't expect me to go cliff-diving or anything like that! I'll just lie on the beach and work on my tan!"

In the next room, a video clip showed a semi-crazy looking Mexican man who was trying to sell goods to the people in the boat, which would have been Mario and the gang. Of course, the boat continued to move, despite the man's protests. Instead of giving up, however, he ran from one screen to the next one, and continued to try and sell his wears.

"What the?..." Wario grunted, "Get away from me you freak! I don't want any of your junk! Gosh, it's rides like these where they really should give you two or three softballs before you get on!"

The ride went through one more room that looked like Mexico City during Cinco de Mayo before coming to an end.

"So, Wario..." Mario asked as they walked towards the exit, "Did you think that ride was _muy divertido_?"

"What? Speak English! Didn't I tell you I don't speak Spanish?"

"Or did you think it was _aburrido pico_?"

"Are you deaf? I don't understand stupid Spanish!"

"Well, maybe if you are_ paciente y trabajador_, you can learn it."

"STOP IT!"

"You really should take a _clase de español_..."

"ARGH! SHUT UP!"

Wario began chasing after Mario, flinging his fists around everywhere. Mario knew this wasn't too good, and immediately began to run away. While Mario and Wario were running around, the rest of the group just stood there, shaking their heads.

"Sigh... _Wario no es inteligente..._" Luigi muttered, "¡_Pero el es **muy** fuerte!_"


	21. Mario's World Tour

"Alright, fine! If you aren't gonna stop talking in Spanish, I'll just start using it too! Mario es la... Supid-o y... Ugly-o y... Wets his bed-o..."

"Face it, Wario, you can't speak Spanish."

"Eh, shut-up, green! I can_ too_ speak in Spanish! Just give me a moment to remember some words... _Amigo!_ Ha! See? I just said some!"

"I wasn't referring to your incapability to speak the language, I was referring to the fact that we aren't in Mexico anymore. See? We're in Norway now!"

Wario looked around and noticed that Luigi was right. Instead of a ziggurat, there were large, European, wooden structures that rose up in the surrounding area.

"Huh? What happened? Did we cross an ocean without me noticing or something?"

"No... The Norway Pavilion just happens to be right next to the Mexico Pavilion."

"Oh, I knew that... So, anyway, what language do they speak in Norway? English, I hope?"

"Nope. They speak Norwegian. Maybe you should ask the next Cast Member you see '_snakker du engelsk?_'"

Wario responded to this by proceeding to chase Luigi all around the Pavilion, while Mario, Peach, Daisy, and Waluigi just looked on.

"Um, how about we go on another ride?" Mario suggested.

"Sounds good!" Peach replied, "Where is it?"

"Right over there!" Mairo answered, pointing towards one of the buildings.

As they were approaching the entrance to the attraction, Wario had just about tuckered out from running after Luigi, so he rejoined the group. Luigi returned soon after.

"Huh? What's that say?" Wario grunted, looking up at the name of the ride, "_Maelstrom_? What, is that Norwegian for 'River of Time'?"

"They wouldn't name two rides the same thing, Wario," Daisy corrected.

"Maybe they were lazy..."

"A maelstrom is an exceptionally large or violent whirlpool," Mario explained, "There are a lot of them scattered along the coast of Norway, which caused a huge problem for Norwegian sailors of old. Since this is a semi-thrilling boat ride, it only made sense to name it that."

"Since when did Mario turn into such a nerd?" Waluigi asked to no one in particular.

"Oh my!" Peach shouted, "Look up there!"

The group looked where Peach was pointing. Near the entrance to the ride was a rather scenic-looking waterfall that came flowing out of a high cave and emptied out into a rock-filled pond. However, that wasn't what made it interesting. Inside the cave, one could clearly see the ride vehicles (which looked like Viking ships) come out and nearly go over the waterfall! They didn't, of course. Instead, they turned around and went back into the cave.

"Whoa!" Daisy exclaimed, "I wonder what _that_ is all about!"

"Only one way to find out!" Mario returned, "Let's-a go!"

They were about to get on when Wario noticed the wait time.

"Hey! What the?..." Wario hollered, "35 minutes? I'm not waiting 35 minutes to go on a stinkin' ride! That's worse than... Than waiting almost two months for an author to update his fanfiction!"

"What if he had a perfectly good excuse as to why he didn't?" Waluigi asked.

"Oh, well, in that case... Wait a second! Why am I defending a hypothetical situation? That would never happen, anyway! Only a complete idiot would ignore his fans for that long!"

"Right..." Waluigi moaned, rolling his eyes towards the 'fourth wall'.

* * *

If there is one positive trait that Bowser could claim he had, it was his persistence. Despite his horrendous track record so far during Mario's vacation, he wasn't going to give up until he saw Mario in a hospital bed. Therefore, it should come as no surprise that he managed to recover from being launched into orbit during the Mission: Space fiasco so he could attempt to ruin the vacation once more. Currently, he was hiding inside the Maelstrom building behind a few set pieces near the waterfall outside. 

"So pop, what was it like being the first turtle in space?" Bowser Jr. joked.

"Would you cut that out?" Bowser demanded, "For starters, I did _not_ go all the way into space---"

"Just high enough that you nearly got sucked into a jet intake…"

"Yes… Well… All cool villains die by getting sucked into jet intakes… Just ask that guy from _The Incredibles_…"

"He wasn't cool! He was a total nerd!"

"Ok, look, are you going to argue with your father, or are you going to help me finish off that pesky plumber?"

"Oh! Sure thing, pop! What are we gonna do this time?"

"Did you see how those losers reacted when they saw the boat _nearly_ go over the waterfall? Well, we're going to find out how they react when they _really do_ go over! Ha ha ha!"

Bowser Jr. didn't need any more of an explanation to understand what to do. Right in front of the waterfall was a row of rocks that kept the boats from going over the side. The father and son proceeded to try and remove the rocks, so nothing would prevent Mario's boat from taking the fall! However, Bowser and Bowser Jr. didn't realize two things: One was the fact that there was a track under the water that also kept the boats in place (meaning that removing the rocks was useless), and two was the audio-animatronic situated on the opposite side of the waterway that, until a boat came around, looked like an ordinary tree. Unfortunately for the two Bowsers, their commotion set off the motion sensor for the tree, and it sprung to life, much to their surprise!

"WAAH! DAD! IT'S A GIANT TALKING TREE!" Bowser Jr. screamed.

Bowser Jr. jumped back in shock, bumping into his father, and knocking them towards the edge of the falls!

"Hey, son, calm down! It's just an audio-anima-whatever!... WHOA! Watch it! You're gonna knock us---"

Too late. The two turtles tumbled over the edge of the waterfall and made a splash-down in the pond below! They quickly pulled themselves out and made their way backstage before anyone noticed.

"Well, pop…" Bowser Jr. began, pulling out pennies that were thrown in the pond out from underneath his shell, "… At least you weren't launched into space again."

"Shut up."

* * *

After the ride, our vacationers came back out onto the main path around World Showcase. Looking towards the remaining 'countries', Mario turned back towards the group. 

"So, now that both rides in World Showcase are out of the way, we only have the shows left… Who's up for a world tour?"

A world tour was a mild way of putting it. The group made their way through China and Germany before the Mario Bros. decided to take a little extra time in their 'motherland': Italy.

"Ah, it's good to be home, isn't it, Luigi?" Mario asked.

"If home is where the heritage is, then yep, bro." Luigi agreed.

"Bah, I can't believe you guys want to spend extra time here!" Wario groaned, leaning against a rather odd looking human statue, "This place is boooooring!"

Suddenly, Wario felt like something was missing from his head. Patting the top of his noggin, he found out what it was: his hat!

"WAH! My hat! Where'd it go?"

Wario looked left and right, but he couldn't find it! That's when he noticed everyone else pointing at him and laughing.

"Hey! What's so funny?"

"Oh, gee, I don't know…" Waluigi gasped between laughs, "Why don't you ask the statue?"

"What on earth are ya talkin' about? Why would I ask the statue?"

Casually glancing towards the previously stated statue, Wario noticed something… It was holding his hat!

"What the… Give that back now!"

Wario leaped up and tried to grab his hat, but, at the last second, the statue's arm raised up, moving his hat out of his range!

"NO FAIR! GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE!" Wario whined, flailing his arms above his head in a futile attempt to retrieve his hat. However, the statue simply remained still, with the hat above Wario's reach. Right as he was about to give up, it suddenly leaned forward, placed the hat back on Wario's head, patted it, and kissed him on the nose!

"EWW! BELCH! I JUST GOT KISSED BY A FREAKIN' STATUE!"

Wario ran all the way to The American Adventure screaming, while the rest of the group just looked on in hysterics.

"You got that on film, Peach?" Mario asked.

"Uh-huh…" Peach replied, looking at her camera, "And I think that one's going down as one of the greats…"

After visiting the American Adventure, it was off to Japan (where, oddly enough, Mario and Luigi felt even more at home…), Morocco, France (or, as Waluigi called it, the 'Freedom Pavilion'), the UK, and Canada. All this took a lot of time out of the day, and the sun was beginning to set as they got out of the _O' Canada!_ show. Even more important, they were getting rather tired.

"I'm hungry!" Wario complained, "I want something to eat! And not more disgusting vegetarian food, either!"

"But you got a snack at each pavilion, Wario," Peach explained, "How can you still be hungry?"

"You just answered your own dang question! They were just snacks! Now I want a _real_ meal!"

"Hey, I know!" Luigi suggested, "Let's go back to the Italy Pavilion!"

"NO WAY! I'm not going anywhere near those stupid 'Living Statues' ever again!"

"But I was looking at a restaurant there… I think it was called _Alfredo's_ or something like that… And the main chef there is a descendent of the man who invented Fettuccini Alfredo! If you ask me, it sounds like the food there _has_ to be good!"

"As long as there's no Italian Coke…" Mario added.

"Grr… Alright, fine!" Wario agreed, "But if I even _see_ a Living Statue, I'm gonna skip you like a pebble across the whole dang lagoon!"

Fortunately for Luigi, the Living Statues had left for the night. Even better, the food was delicious! The Mario and the Wario Bros. both ordered the Fettuccini Alfredo, but Peach and Daisy opted out of it, calling it a 'Heart attack on a plate!' However, what they did order was just as good.

"Omph… Momma-mia…" Mario sighed pleasantly after eating, "That was great. We should let Luigi pick out where we eat more often!"

"Heh, yeah, who would've thought he'd ever come up with a good idea? Ha ha!" Waluigi laughed.

"Oh, knock it off, Waluigi!" Daisy demanded, "Luigi is a great guy!"

Luigi began blushing uncontrollably, hoping that Daisy didn't notice. She didn't, and he managed to get himself to look normal before she turned towards him.

"So, Luigi, what should we do now, hmm?" Daisy asked.

"Uh… How about we wait for_ IllumiNations_? I'm sure we'll get a good spot if we go now."

"See? He always has good ideas! I told you he was a great guy!"

Waluigi stormed off, angered that he had been defeated, while the rest of the gang went and found good seats for _IllumiNations_. After a little while of waiting, it paid off. The show was amazing! As it ended and they were beginning to head for the exit, Daisy leaned towards Luigi.

"By the way, I really do think you're a great guy," she whispered.

Luigi started blushing all over again. If he couldn't build up the courage to talk to Daisy, maybe she would first.


	22. A Vacation from a Vacation

Luigi woke up bright and early the next morning, quite a contrast from the previous day, ready to take on another park.

"Hey, Mario! Are we ready? Where are we going today? MGM Studios? Animal Kingdom?"

"Actually…" Mario moaned, slowly getting out of bed, "I think we're going to a bit of a break today."

"HUH?"

"Peach wants to hang out at the hotel today. You know, use the pool, the tennis courts… all that stuff."

"But… But I wanna go to the theme parks…"

"Too bad. I think everyone else is already at the pool. Why don't we put on our swimsuits head on down?"

Luigi, still complaining about wanting to visit the parks, put on his swimming trunks and followed Mario down to the lobby and out the back, leading to a sandy beach by a large body of water… and the pool!

"Hey, all right!" Luigi shouted, "I'm gonna go swim by the beach!"

"Hold on, Luigi…" Mario interrupted, "the lagoon is for water sports only. If you want to swim, you have to go to the actual pool."

"Oh… Okay-dokie… Say, what are Wario and Waluigi doing over there?"

Out on the beach, Wario and Waluigi were building a sandcastle… Or, more specifically, Wario was sitting on a beach chair ordering Waluigi around.

"Hey! What are ya doin'?" Wario demanded, taking a sip of a tropical drink he was holding, "You call that a sandcastle?"

Waluigi looked up from his work.

"What? What's wrong? It is _too_ a sandcastle! Look, I got the moat, the drawbridge, the castle walls, the towers…"

"Yeah, but how am I supposed to live in that thing?"

Waluigi just stared at him for a moment before leveling the sandcastle in one swift kick.

"You wanna life-sized sandcastle? You make it yourself, lard-butt!"

"Who are ya callin' lard-butt, twig twit?"

"Blubber boy!"

"Skinny stinker!"

"Fat face!"

"That's it! YARG!"

Wario lunged towards Waluigi, who simply side-stepped and watched as Wario somersaulted into the shallow water. Of course, Wario wasn't going to give up just like that. He got up and dived at Waluigi again, this time taking him down. Soon, the two of them were duking it out on the beach, much to the dismay of Mario and Luigi. The Mario Bros. simply did their best to ignore it and headed over to the pool area, where Peach and Daisy were waiting. The two princesses were sunbathing on lounge chairs beside the pool, with a small table in between them that had a small number of plates on it, which apparently once held their breakfasts. Not surprisingly, their swimsuits were the same colors of their normal outfits: Peach was wearing a pink bikini, and Daisy had a yellow one-piece.

"Hey, Peach!" Mario called out, "We're here! You wanna go in the pool?"

"No thanks, Mario," Peach replied, "I want to save my time in the water for when we go to Blizzard Beach. Besides, I'm working on my tan right now."

"Oh, that's too bad…" Luigi commented, "So… Uh… Daisy… Do you want to…"

"Sorry, Luigi," Daisy answered before Luigi even finished, "Peach is _forcing_ me to sunbathe as well. She says I have to 'maintain the look of a princess' or something like that…"

"Hey, I never forced you to do anything!" Peach retorted.

"Uh-huh… You were threatening to chain me to the lounge chair."

"I did not!"

"Um, look, ladies…" Mario interrupted, "We'll just swim by ourselves until you're both done tanning or whatever and then we'll go onto the next activity."

"Sounds good to me," Peach responded.

And so, the two plumbers dived into the water and swam around for a little bit. The pool was a good size and had a waterslide, but besides that, there wasn't much too it.

"You know," Luigi began, "I was reading that the Yacht and Beach Club as a HUGE pool, with a long waterslide, a whirlpool, and other cool stuff!"

"Yep, I read that too," Mario agreed, "But I think Peach is right about waiting until we get to Blizzard Beach before we get too 'watered out'. Speaking of Peach, I wonder if they're done yet…"

Mario swam over to the two girls and, thankfully, saw Peach begin to get up.

"Oh, good. Peach, you're done…"

However, before Mario could finish, Peach turned over and began tanning her backside.

"Sigh… Never mind…"

Luigi, on the other hand, noticed something different. Since she was wearing a one-piece, which covered her back, Daisy had no reason to turn over. Instead, she got up quietly (hoping not to disturb Peach, who might 'demand' that she turn over anyway) and made her way out of the pool area.

"Hold on, Mario, I'll be right back…" Luigi muttered.

"What? Are you going to finally ask her out?"

Mario was met with a huge splash of water as a reply.

* * *

Daisy was walking down a path by the beach when she heard footsteps running up behind her. Turning around, she saw Luigi trying to catch up.

"Hey, Luigi! What's up?"

"Pant… Wheeze…" Luigi gasped, attempting to reclaim his breath, "I… I saw you walk off and I wanted to make sure you were alright."

"Oh, I'm fine. I just wanted to get up and move around for a while. If I laid there any longer, I might have burned up!"

"Heh, heh… Same here… sort of. If I was in that pool any longer, I probably would have turned into a giant prune!"

They exchanged a couple of friendly laughs before Daisy continued.

"So, you wanna do something together?"

At this point, Luigi was practically screaming "YES!" in his mind, but he remained outwardly quiet.

"Su… Sure… What do you want to do?"

"How about the paddleboats? I hear those are fun."

"Ok, let's-a go!"

It wasn't long before Luigi and Daisy were out on the lagoon in a paddleboat. As they paddled around, they caught great views of the two other hotels on the lagoon: The Polynesian and The Contemporary.

"Isn't this like those 2 vs. 2 minigames we always play whenever Mario throws a party?" Daisy asked, "You know: 'Spin the analog stick around to paddle your boat with your partner! First one to cross the finish line wins!'"

"Right…" Luigi answered. His mind was on other things at the moment. Deep down, he was finally starting to build up the courage to ask Daisy out. Swallowing a huge gulp, he turned to Daisy.

"So… Um… Daisy?... I was thinking… Do you want to---"

"DAISY!" Someone called out.

"Oh, snap… Peach must've finally found out I left! I guess we better head back. We'll pick this up some other time."

As they paddled back, Luigi was mentally smacking himself in the forehead. Why did everything have to be so complicated? Even when he _wanted_ to ask Daisy out, he couldn't! When they reached the dock, Peach practically pulled Daisy out of the paddleboat.

"Whoa, Peach, calm down!" Daisy shouted, "I'm sorry I left you while you were still sunning yourself! I just figured that since I was wearing a…"

"Daisy, relax! That wasn't why I came over to get you, silly!" Peach giggled, "I got us reservations for a little trip to the spa! Massages… Facials… The works! Come on, I think it's about time you got a little pampering!"

Peach grabbed Daisy by the arm and dragged her off towards the spa, much to Daisy's dismay.

"Wait, what? But I don't want to go to a spa!" Daisy protested, "Help! I'm being forced to do something against my own will!"

Luigi chuckled at the slightly comical situation before it hit him again that he just lost his chance to ask Daisy out. He didn't get to mope long, however, before Mario came walking up, in his normal attire and holding a tennis racket.

"Hey, Luigi!" Mario called out, "You up for a quick match against the Wario Bros.?"

* * *

Out on the tennis courts Wario and Waluigi, still covered in sand from their beach brawl, were waiting for Mario and Luigi to come and begin the game.

"What's taking them so long, huh?" Wario whined, "Why bother breaking up our fight, which _I_ was winning, by the way, and drag us over here if they aren't going to actually challenge us?"

"_You_ were winning?" Waluigi retorted, "I had your head buried in the sand!"

"Oh yeah? I had you in a headlock and was forcing sand in your mouth!"

"But I stuffed sand down your pants!... Oh, _here_ they are! Finally!"

Mario and Luigi, who was now wearing his standard clothes, came onto the court. Mario grabbed a tennis ball out of a huge barrel full of them and bounced it on the clay a couple of times.

"Okay-dokie, are we ready to play?" Mario asked, "No power shots in this game, just skill! First serve!"

Mario tossed the ball in the air and hit it with his racket, thus beginning the game. However, while the match was going on, everyone's favorite incompetent father/son duo, Bowser and Bowser Jr., were just off the court, ready to attempt to ruin things once again.

"Uh… Pop?" Bowser Jr. began, "Haven't we learned by now that using explosives hasn't been the brightest idea?"

"Perhaps…" Bowser answered, "But this time, we're only using _one_ bob-omb, and we're gonna head for the hills as soon as we set it!"

Bowser pulled out two things for his latest plot: A single bob-omb, and a bucket of yellow paint.

"See that barrel of tennis balls inside the court, son?"

"Yep!"

"What I need you to do," Bowser began to explain while dunking the bob-omb in the yellow paint, making it look like a rather unconvincing tennis ball, "is to put this bob-omb in the very top of the barrel! That way, it will be the next 'ball' Mario will grab! Then, the next time he 'blows it' while playing, he'll do it literally! Ha ha ha!"

Suddenly, the tennis ball flew over the chain-link fence and continued to bounce for a few yards.

"DANG IT!" one could hear Wario shout, "Ok, second serve…"

"That's your chance, son!" Bowser exclaimed, "Go!"

Bowser Jr. grabbed the bob-omb 'tennis ball' and climbed quickly but undetected over the fence and into the court. Moving with speed that was quite the opposite of what his dad could achieve, the mischievous little brat sprinted over to the barrel of tennis balls and dropped the bob-omb in. He hid behind the barrel until Wario, much to his delight, grabbed the bob-omb and headed back to his side of the court. His mission completed, Bowser Jr. scampered back to his father.

"Ok, pop! He's got the fake!" Bowser Jr. declared, "What do we do now?"

"Simple, son…" Bowser began, "It's the only way we can make sure this plan won't backfire in our face… RUN!"

The dubious duo immediately ran off, leaving the Mario and Wario Bros. fate to the bob-omb.

"Ready to go down?" Wario taunted as he tossed the 'tennis ball' into the air, "'Cuz ready or not, here I come!"

Wario served the ball with all his might. It flew through the air like a missile which, in a sense, it was. However, right before it hit the ground, which would have certainly caused it to go off, Luigi dove and knocked it back into the air. Waluigi retaliated by using his long limbs to _also_ return the ball before it struck the ground. Mario leaped into the air and smacked the ball hard in an attempt to 'spike' it into the ground before Wario or Waluigi could react.

"You think you're so clever, huh?" Wario sneered, "Power beats tactical any day! TAKE THIS!"

Wario swung his tennis racket like a baseball bat, striking the ball with such power, it flew high into the air and once again cleared the fence! This time, however, it didn't come back down in the immediate vicinity.

"Well, that's another point for us…" Mario commented, "So that means we win! We shut you guys out for the entire match!"

"Grr…" Waluigi growled, "This is all your fault, Wario! Thanks to your stupid obsession with power, we _bombed_ the whole game!"

* * *

Bowser and Bowser Jr. were starting to slow down, believing they were far enough away from the tennis courts.

"So, pop," Bowser Jr. started, "Do you think all four brothers are 'bob-ombed' yet?"

"I don't know son," Bowser replied, "But I'm sure we'll know when we hear that all-too-familiar blast…"

Suddenly, something bounced off of Bowser's head, which then bounced off of Bowser Jr.'s head before finally landing on the ground. It didn't take them long before they realized what it was: The bob-omb tennis ball!

"Oh, shroom…" Bowser groaned.

* * *

"I still can't figure out what that huge explosion was a little while ago…" Luigi commented, "I hope everything's alright."

"Stop worrying, Luigi," Mario assured, "I'm sure it was just from one of the shows in the parks."

"You mean the parks that we _should_ be visiting today?" Luigi asked sarcastically.

"Hey, I could care less about that explosion…" Wario grumbled, "What I want to know is why you want to keep humiliating us! Wasn't the tennis game enough?"

"Look, Walt Disney World has some of the best golf greens around," Mario explained, "Since we like to 'putter around' a lot in the Mushroom Kingdom, I figured it would be a good idea to play eighteen holes here, too."

"Yeah, but…" Waluigi protested, "Why drag _us_ through it? I don't wanna play!"

"Well, we need a foursome…"

"What about us?" another voice suggested.

Mario turned around to see Peach and Daisy approaching the group.

"Oh, hey, welcome back!" Mario greeted, "So, how was your spa visit?"

Daisy shrugged, "It was a little better than I expected, I guess. It still isn't something I'd do on a regular basis like Peach keeps suggesting, but I'll admit, it _was_ relaxing…"

"After we were done with our treatments," Peach continued, "We figured you would be out here on the golf greens, so we decided to head on over and join you!"

"Yeah, whatever," Wario grunted, "Does this mean I'm off the hook for playing?"

"I guess so…" Mario answered, "If both Peach and Daisy want to play, then you two don't have to."

"OH YEAH!" Waluigi cheered.

"Actually," Daisy interrupted, "Me and Luigi were in the middle of something before Peach dragged me off to get pampered, so I kinda want to finish our conversation."

"OH NO!" Waluigi cried.

"R-Really?..." Luigi shuttered.

"Uh-huh," Daisy nodded, "Come on, let's go."

Luigi and Daisy walked off, leaving Mario, Peach, Wario, and Waluigi to be the foursome that played golf.

"Well, what are we waiting 'fore'?" Mario rhetorically asked, "It's 'tee' time!"

"Ugh…" Wario gagged, "Another thing I hate about golf: Horrible puns!"

Despite the constant whining from the Wario Bros., the golf game went on pretty smoothly… Until Wario got his ball stuck in a peculiar-shaped sand trap.

"Grr…" Wario growled, "Stupid sand trap… What's with this thing lyin' in the middle of the fairway?"

Wario stormed into the sand trap and began to unsuccessfully attempt to make his way out of it. It was at this point Waluigi noticed the sand trap's odd shape.

"Hey, that's kinda weird…" Waluigi grumbled, "That thing is one giant circle with two smaller circles near the top… Huh?"

"Good job, Captain Obvious!" Wario shouted, "Now, how about helping me get out of this stupid thing?

"I know what it is!" Mario declared, "It's a giant hidden Mickey!"

"You're right, Mario!" Peach agreed, "If you stand on your tip-toes and look down on it, you can see it clearly!"

"Um, hello?" Wario interrupted, "Doesn't anyone care that I am _stuck_ in the sand trap? Fine! I'll just get out of this thing myself!"

Wario then continued to try to get out, but once again, it was futile. Quickly growing frustrated, Wario began beating down on the golf ball in a pitiful attempt to hit it while screaming in incoherent gibberish. All he _did_ succeed in doing was brining up a whole lot of sand. After his tantrum was over, the ball was _still_ in the sand trap, but he did just so happen to dig in the shape of another Disney character inside the Mickey sand trap.

"Hmm… How fitting," Mario commented, "He made the impression of Donald Duck."

* * *

After the golf game, the group returned to the hotel lobby at about the same time Luigi and Daisy returned from their little walk.

"So, Luigi…" Mario began, "How was your time with Daisy? Did you finally---"

"Mario!" Luigi interjected, "Geez! Leave me alone! It was just an innocent walk! What did you expect?"

"Whoa, ok, sorry! Didn't mean to be rude! I respect your privacy, bro.!"

Mario and Luigi shook hands to show no hard feelings, and Mario went off with Peach, leaving Luigi to stand there by himself. Nervously, he looked back at Daisy.

_Ok… Only a few more days until_ _Victoria and Albert's... Geez, who'd-a thunk that someplace sickingly fancy would be where I'd have my first date?_


	23. Hooray for Hollywood!

"_Hooray for Hollywood! That screwy, ballyhooey Hollywood! Where any office boy or young mechanic can be a panic with just a good-looking pan..._"

"LUIGI! Clamp up or I'll make ya start singing, _Hooray for Hospitals_!"

Luigi looked up and saw Wario sitting in the bus seat across from him, looking pretty mad.

"What? I was just getting into the mood..."

"Well, you can do that _without_ the obnoxious musical number, thank you very much!"

Luigi realized that arguing with Wario would get him nowhere (except maybe a fist in the face), so he decided to end his little song and talk to his brother.

"Hey, Mario!" Luigi began, "So, we're going to MGM Studios today, huh?"

"Yep!" Mario replied, "And Daisy did research on it, right?"

"You bet!" Daisy responded, "The first ride we're going to go on is The Great Movie Ride!"

"Oh boy! How amazingly descriptive!" Waluigi cried sarcastically, "Let me guess: It's a ride about movies!"

"Just ignore him..." Peach moaned, "... Oh look! We're here!"

The bus came to a stop, and everyone got off right in front of the main entrance. A few moments later, they were walking down Hollywood Boulevard, with a replica of the Mann's Chinese Theater standing proudly at the end, and a giant Sorcerer Mickey's hat a short distance in front of it. While they were walking, Luigi continued to hum _Hooray for Hollywood_, and that alone was enough to get Wario annoyed again.

"Yo, greenie! I thought I told you to cool it with that stupid song!" Wario shouted

"You only said I couldn't _sing_ it," Luigi slyly explained, "You didn't say anything about me _humming_ it."

"Grr... Fine! No singing, humming, or anything else that involves vibrating your vocal cords, or else I'll rip them out!"

Luigi stopped humming... and a few seconds later started whistling.

"WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU?"

"You don't vibrate your vocal cords when you whistle!"

Next thing Luigi knew, he was trying to pull his head out of a trashcan.

* * *

After Luigi finally managed to free his noggin, the group entered the courtyard of the Mann's Chinese Theater where there was, of course, cement tiles containing the handprints of famous celebrities. However, since this was Disney, there were an abundance Disney characters' handprints. Mario, like most other tourists, couldn't resist seeing how his hands compared to the ones in the ground.

"Hey! Would you look at that!" Mario commented, "My hands are almost exactly the same size as Mickey Mouse's!"

"Maybe it's because of your gloves," Peach suggested.

Mario looked at his hands and noticed that his gloves did indeed look like Mickey's.

"Wow, how about that…" Mario mused, "I never really noticed that before… Hmm…"

"So guys," Daisy interrupted, "Are we gonna go on the ride, or are we just gonna stand around the entrance all day?"

"Oh, right! Coming!" Mario called out as the group entered the attraction. Inside, the waiting queue wove around glass cases holding movie memorabilia, including Dorothy's red slippers and a carousel horse from _Mary Poppins_. While this was all fascinating to the Mario Bros. and the princesses, Wario and Waluigi, not surprisingly, were hardly impressed.

"This is boooooring!" Waluigi whined, "When do we get to go on the actual ride?"

The line went into the next room, which looked like a movie theater that showed trailers to all the films the ride would actually go through. Although this was still a snooze-fest for Waluigi, Wario was actually kind of interested in it, if only because he was a couch potato.

"Ooooo…" Wario mumbled, "TV… Must… Watch…"

The next room (which took a while to drag Wario into) was the actual loading dock, and everyone filed into one of the cars. However, as soon as the ride was about set off, _Hooray for Hollywood_ started playing in the background!

"NOOOOO!" Wario screamed, "NOT THAT INFERNAL SONG AGAIN!"

Unfortunately for him, there was nothing he could do about it except plug his ears until the car left the room. The first few areas of the ride were nothing _too_ exciting, but as it entered a room based on old gangster films, a bunch of audio-animatronic mobsters started shooting at them!

"Mamma mia!" Mario cried, "And I thought Rogueport was bad!"

"WAAA! Hold your fire!" Wario pleaded, "I'm too young and dashingly handsome to die!"

"Hey," Daisy calmly said, looking at her guide book, "Did you know that the license plate of that car they're shooting from, 021-429 is the same as the date of the St. Valentine's Day Massacre, 2/14/29?"

"Like I'm really looking at the car they're SHOOTING me from!" Waluigi shouted back, "Someone get us outta here!"

Waluigi got his wish. However, it wasn't exactly as he had planed. One of the mobsters (who was a real live actor) threw the tour guide out of the car and drove off with the guests! They entered the next area, which looked like a western flick. Just like the previous room, the group quickly found themselves under attack again, this time by bank robbers! Thankfully, they got out of there right before the bank blew up, but the next film the ride went into was even worse: It was _Alien_! Not surprisingly, the alien himself appeared and attempted to eat the crowd!

"IEEE!" Luigi squealed, "IT'S THE SHROOB INVADERS AGAIN!"

"Not quite, bro…" Mario muttered, "I think this guy is a few notches above the Shroobs…"

Fortunately, they escaped in the nick of time once more. The next chamber was based off of _Raiders of the Lost Ark_, complete with Indiana Jones lifting the Ark off its pedestal. However, the next room the ride entered was also sort of Indy themed, but there was a giant red ruby mounted on the far wall.

"Hello, gorgeous…" Wario began, dollar signs appearing in his eyes, "Come to daddy…"

The gangster had the same thought process as Wario, and since he was the one who was _supposed_ to grab the jewel, he got out while Mario and the rest tried to pin Wario down and keep him from ruining the ride. Sure enough, the gangster, despite the warning given by a mysterious robbed man, touched the gem, and immediately transformed into a skeleton! Not only that, the other man removed his robes to reveal himself to be the original tour guide!

"Oh…" Wario muttered, observing the fate of the gangster, "… I knew that was gonna happen all along! What an idiot that guy was! Doesn't he know that stuff like that is _always_ cursed?"

"Uh, huh…" Peach mumbled, "And _who_ was going to try to grab that jewel first?"

"HEY! WHAT ARE YOU INSINUATING?"

The rest of the ride went on relatively calmly, with more pleasant scenes from _Tarzan_, _The Wizard of Oz_, and _Fantasia_. After the ride ended, the group left the attraction… and Luigi started singing again.

"_Hooray for Hollywood! Where you're terrific if you're even good! Where anyone at all from Shirley Temple to Aimee Semple is equally understood!_"

"Yo, Luigi! Why won't you freakin' shut up?" Wario roared.

"Hey, I know how we can get Luigi to quiet down!" Waluigi, looking at the park map, declared.

"_Hooray for_... You do?" Luigi stuttered.

"Yep, we'll just check into a new hotel!"

"A-Wha?..." Wario grunted, "How's that gonna help?"

"Because..." Waluigi began, an evil little smirk appearing on his face, "It's the Hollywood Tower Hotel."


	24. Going Down?

"_Hooray for_... gulp... _Hollywood! That phony,_... um... _super Coney, Hollywood! They come from_... Yipe!... _Chilicothes and Padukahs with their_... brr... _bazookas to see their names up in lights_..."

Poor Luigi's pathetic attempts to hide his fear were clearly seen through as the group entered the 'Hollywood Tower Hotel.' Aka: The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror. After navigating the deserted (minus the people waiting in line) lobby, they entered the library, where a black-and-white television mysteriously flickered to life.

"Hey! Alright another TV!" Wario shouted, "Oh, wait... It's not in color? Booooor... Ow!"

Wario was quickly quieted by Daisy, who, apparently having quite enough of Wario's constant whining, had dug her heel into his foot!

"Ok... You... On... Foot... Stop... Please..." Wario sputtered before Daisy eventually consented, believing that he had learned his lesson, "Oh... Poor foot... Where's that Dr. Mario when you need him?"

Mario simply rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to the TV, which now was playing what looked like the beginning of an episode of _The Twilight Zone_, complete with Rod Serling as the host. The 'episode' was about as weird as most Twilight Zone shows: On Halloween night in 1939, a famous family (and a bellhop) was riding an elevator to the thirteenth floor of the hotel when the elevator shaft was struck by lightning, sending the victims into the Twilight Zone! This was accompanied by a 'real' lightning strike 'outside,' which, of course, caused Luigi to freak out.

"IEEE! This place is haunted!" Luigi squealed, "I knew I should have brought my Poltergust 3000!"

"Are you sure brining him on this ride was a good idea?" Peach whispered to Mario, "I mean, he looks like he's on the verge of having a heart attack!"

"Don't worry about it, he'll be fine!" Mario assured, "If he survived a _real_ haunted mansion, he can handle anything fake! Besides, it was either this or Rock 'n' Roller Coaster..."

Eventually, everyone was led into the boiler room of the hotel, which also served as the loading dock for the attraction. After weaving through the dank basement for a little bit, Mario and the gang reached the service elevators that would act as ride vehicles.

"Hey, you don't expect me to go in _that_, do you?" Luigi protested, "Don't you guys remember what happened to that famous family?"

"Yeah, yeah..." Waluigi mumbled, giving Luigi a not-so-gentle shove into the elevator, "And the idea is that _we_ get to take a trip to the Twilight Zone as well, sucker!"

"ARE YOU CRAZY?"

"Well, _that's_ open to debate..." Peach murmured as the rest of the group entered.

As soon as he was seated, Luigi buried his head in between his legs and refused to look up until the ride was over. After hearing strange and mysterious sounds coming from the ride for about a minute, he heard the elevator doors open.

"Oh good…" Luigi murmured to himself as he slowly raised his head, "The ride must be over! That wasn't so ba… YIKES!"

Looking forward, Luigi saw that the doors had opened to reveal that they thirteen stories up. However, since the lightning strike in the story had taken out the entire front of the hotel, the elevator literally led to nowhere; they were overlooking the entire park!

"MOMMA MIA!" Luigi screamed, "HOW DID WE GET ALL THE WAY UP HERE?"

"Hey, look!" Mario called out, ignoring Luigi completely, "You can see our hotel room from here!"

Suddenly, the elevator shook and dropped slightly.

"What was that?" Luigi demanded nervously.

"Well, it's quite simple…" Waluigi replied with an evil smirk on his mug, "What goes up…

The elevator shook again.

"Must come down!"

The next thing Luigi knew, he was screaming like a schoolgirl, grabbing onto the safety bar in front of him hard enough to leave an impression of his fingers in it as the elevator dropped faster than gravity for a few stories before suddenly rocketing back upwards and then falling again. By the time the elevator finally reached the bottom floor, Luigi's heart was pounding loud enough that everyone could hear it, he was as pale as a boo, and was practically drenched in cold sweat. In fact, he was so stunned, he had to be carried out by Mario and both princesses. Wario and Waluigi, of course, simply started laughing uncontrollably at the petrified plumber, but they were quickly silenced when Daisy shot them a glare that was enough to scare even the Wario Bros. Eventually, they laid Luigi down on a bench near the exit of the ride (which led right into the gift shop). Daisy stayed with him while Mario and Peach went to see if the picture taken during the ride was worth buying. After a minute or so, Luigi slowly began to come to.

"Ugh…" Luigi moaned, "Momma mia… I am NEVER going on that ride again…"

Hearing someone chuckle, Luigi turned his head to see Daisy sitting next to him. This caused him to immediately sit up and attempt to pull himself together in order to impress her.

"I mean, um… That was nothing! No, sir! I could go on that ride again, if it wasn't so boring! Yeah!"

"Luigi…" Daisy sighed knowingly, "You don't have to impress me. I like you just the way you are."

"Really?" Luigi asked, inching a little bit closer to Daisy.

"Yep…" Daisy replied, leaning towards Luigi.

Their moment was interrupted when Mario and Peach came walking back, the picture in Mario's hand.

"Hey, Luigi!" Mario shouted, "Check out this picture!"

Mario handed the picture to Luigi, who immediately looked it over. It was apparently taken during the free-fall, as everyone's caps (or crowns) were suspended slightly in the air above their heads. It was pretty nice and, best of all, everyone appeared to be screaming, so Luigi didn't look out of place in the picture at all.

"That's-a pretty good, Mario!" Luigi commented, "So, are we having a growing collection of these things now or what?"

"I guess so," Mario responded, "Peach will probably buy one of these every time one is available, regardless of whether it's 'good' or not."

After sharing a good laugh, the vacationers left the Tower of Terror and began heading back towards the center of the park.

"So Mario, what are we gonna do next?" Luigi asked, "After that… embarrassing… moment on the Tower of Terror, I feel like I could take on anything! Where to?"

Mario, curious if what Luigi was saying was true, looked down at the park map.

"How about Rock 'n' Roller Coaster?"

Luigi stopped dead in his tracks, his eye twitching for a moment before immediately fainting again.

* * *

As it turned out, Peach also wasn't fond on the idea of going on Rock 'n' Roller Coaster, and Wario and Waluigi got into yet another fight that was almost exactly the same as the one they had in front of the Mission: Space attraction. Evidently, only Mario and Daisy actually went on the ride. While waiting in line, Mario's curiosity got the better of him and he began to ask Daisy about Luigi.

"So, Daisy…" Mario began, "Not to be rude or anything, but what were you and my brother talking about yesterday during the golf match? I mean, if it was private or something, you don't…"

"It's okay," Daisy interrupted, "I suppose it wouldn't stay a secret very long… When we go to Victoria and Albert's I was going to request a second table for the two of us. You know, kinda like a date!"

"Oh, I see…" Mario replied, who was surprised by this revelation, as it meant that he was going to be alone with Peach.

"Just don't tell him I said that. I think he's still a little nervous about our relationship."

"Heh, heh, believe me, I already know… Still, what do you see in him? I'm not trying to insult him or anything, but Luigi isn't exactly a 'ladies man.' Heck, he could probably make a Shy Guy seem outgoing!"

"Well, that's kinda what I like about him. The quieter guys who hide their feelings are usually more sincere, you know what I mean?"

"I guess so… Hey, look! The line's moving!"

Sure enough, Mario was right. The mismatched couple was eventually boarded into a stretch limo that, with almost no warning, blasted off at 60 mph into the darkness. One wild ride later, complete with a corkscrew, a loop, and pumped in Aerosmith music, Mario and Daisy got out and headed towards the exit.

"Oh yeah! That was awsome!" Daisy cheered, her hair so frazzled from the ride, she looked a lot like a rocker herself. Mario, on the other hand, wasn't so enthusiastic. It wasn't that the ride was too much for him, but rather, the music was.

"Ugh… Momma mia…" Mario moaned, "I think I nearly shattered my ear drums on that ride… Is that really what young people listen to nowadays? Give me back the days of Italian opera!"

Daisy just laughed as the two exited. Once outside, they discovered that Luigi was still unconscious, but Wario and Waluigi had at least calmed down a bit. Peach went up to greet them.

"Hello, you two. Back already?... Daisy! What happened to your hair?"

"It's just from the ride," Daisy explained nonchalantly, combing it down with her fingers.

"Tsk, tsk… I let you go on one ride without me and look what happens! How you stay so well kept during our sporting events is beyond me…"

Mario just sighed as the two princesses argued.

"Oh, boy… I can never figure out how those two could be so different. Peach is nice and proper, while Daisy is fun-loving, full of life…"

Mario paused and looked at Luigi, still out, lying on a park bench.

"… And perfect for Luigi."

Author's Note: Well, I thought I'd just let you know that, between the last chapter updateand this one, I got over 100 reviews! A big thank-you to everyone who has left me a review!


	25. Lucas Rides

After riding the Rock 'n' Roller Coaster, Mario discovered that the next showing of the Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular was very soon. So, without any further ado, he led the gang (including a recently recovered Luigi) over to the show and got seated.

"You know, I think they pick out people from the audience to participate in the show," Daisy remembered, "Do you think they'll choose us?"

"Only one way to find out!" Mario answered, holding his hand up high.

Sure enough, Mario got picked. However, he and his friends weren't the only ones excited. Hiding under the stage, Bowser and Bowser Jr. were lying in wait, yet another scheme on their minds.

"Hey, Pop, I've always wanted Mario shish kebab!" Bowser Jr. snickered.

"Heh, heh… I think it's about time that plumber got the 'point'! Ha ha ha!" Bowser agreed.

The duo walked over to one of the numerous spikes that were resting under the stage, waiting to shoot up at any moment.

"These spikes are supposed to come up when that Jones guy walks over them," Bowser explained, resting his hand on one of them, "Of course, since Mario is coming on the stage right now, I say we send this thing up a little early… and right into that plumber!"

"Uh… Dad?" Bowser Jr. interrupted, a little confused, "You already explained it to me… Why are you saying it again?"

"So they would hear it," Bowser replied, pointing towards the 'fourth wall'.

"But wait a second… You yelled at me before for breaking the fourth wall, why can you do it now?"

"Well… Um… Oh, never mind! Just help me push this spike up as soon as Mario walks over it!"

The two turtles listened carefully for the sound of Mario's clodhoppers as they across the stage above them. They waited until he was right over them… but when they tried to push the spike up, it wouldn't budge!

"Grr… Stupid spike…" Bowser growled, "Why won't it shoot up!"

"Yeah! Come on, you lousy spike! Move!" Bowser Jr. demanded, "Don't you _want_ to impale that lousy, no-good Mario?"

Apparently, it didn't, as they were never able to force it up. Eventually, the sound of Mario (as well as the other guests chosen) faded away as the first 'real' part of the stunt show, were Indy would navigate a trap-filled temple which included the spikes, was about to begin, leaving the Bowsers with nothing but another defeat.

"Well, that was a disappointment," Bowser mumbled, resting his hand on the still-inert spike.

"Yeah… But at least you didn't get hurt doing it!" Bowser Jr. reminded.

At that very moment, the spike Bowser was leaning on shot straight up onto the stage to (almost) impale Indiana Jones! Since Bowser was holding on to it, he was carried upwards as well, causing him to bang his head _hard_ on the underside of the stage and knock himself out cold!

"Aw man… I really have a bad habit of saying things too soon…" Bowser Jr. moaned as he dragged his unconscious dad away.

* * *

Meanwhile, up on the stage, the first stunt scene was over and they were rearranging the set so it looked like the Cairo scene from _Raiders of the Lost Ark_.

"I think this is where Mario's gonna come out!" Luigi exclaimed, pulling out his brother's camera.

Sure enough, Luigi was right. Mario, along with the rest of the selected members of the audience, came out as 'extras' for the scene. That is, they were wearing peasant-ish looking clothes and were walking around in the market where Indy would be chased through moments later. Due to his more or less unique physique, Mario was pretty easy to pick out.

"There he is!" Peach called out, "Aw… He looks so cute in that turban!"

"Right… Cute…" Wario grumbled, "I hope his character is scripted to get stabbed or shot or something…"

Of course, he didn't. In fact, he ran off just as all the action began, but not before Luigi snapped a picture.

"Hey, do ya think I could blackmail him with that?" Waluigi asked curiously.

"Not a chance, pal," Luigi retorted, quickly putting the camera away.

After the show was over and Mario was reunited with the group, they headed over to the other attraction inspired by a movie by George Lucas: Star Tours.

"So… What kind of ride _is_ this, anyway?" Luigi questioned nervously, seeing the warning sign posted at the entrance.

"It's a motion simulator," Mario answered, "You know, like Mission: Space."

"Gulp… Erm… Goodbye!" the green plumber called out as he quickly began to run away.

"Relax!" Daisy said, grabbing onto the back collar of his shirt, "This ride is a few notches below Mission: Space. If you could handle that, I'm sure you can handle this."

Thankfully, this was enough to convince Luigi, who eventually decided ride the attraction. Things went pretty smoothly in the beginning, but, of course, there just _had_ to be a few Star Wars jokes.

"Hey, Luigi," Mario commented as they were about to board, "I sense much fear in you."

"Har, har…" Luigi laughed sarcastically, rolling his eyes, "And I'm sure you think I have a bad feeling about this, too."

"Funny, guys," Daisy replied, "Now, would someone mind moving this walking carpet out of my way?"

"HEY! WHAT ARE YA TALKIN' ABOUT?" Wario demanded, quickly figuring out that the insult was directed to him, "I am _not_ a walking carpet! I am a neatly groomed individual!"

"Right…" Waluigi retorted, "And you would call that mustache 'neatly groomed'?"

"Don't make me give you a 'disturbance in the force', pal."

"Oh yeah? Well… Um… Don't make me send your butt into warp factor five!"

"Wrong franchise, bub."

"Yeah, whatever…"

"Alright everyone," Peach interrupted, "Could we stop making bad puns and get on the ride?"

The group obliged, and soon they were moving at light speed, navigating an asteroid storm, and joining the Rebels on an attack on the Death Star… all motion simulated, of course! After the ride was over, Mario asked Luigi about the experience.

"So, Luigi… Did you like the ride?"

"Huh?... Oh, yeah! It was pretty cool! I think that was the first real 'thrill' ride I actually enjoyed!"

Luigi then proceeded to tell Mario all about how awesome the ride was and how glad he was that he got the guts to go on it. During this time, Mario just smiled and listened. At last, Luigi was finally starting to build up some courage.

Author's Note: Wow... I got this thing updated exactly one month after the last chapter. Talk about cutting it close.On the positive side,I just found out that my family is planing on going back to, you guessed it, Walt Disney World this year! It's a good thing, too: my memories of the place are starting to wear off, plus there's a bunch of new stuff there now (like Exhibition Everest!). Yay for me! Now, this story will be as up-to-date as possible (_after _I visit, of course)!


	26. Mario, Monsters, and Muppets

"You know, I'm starting to get a little hungry…" Mario mumbled, "Why don't we stop for lunch?"

"Like you should be whining…" Wario retorted, "I've been starvin' since we got off the Great Movie Ride!"

"Wasn't that the _first_ ride we went on?" Luigi reminded.

"Yeah, and what's your point?"

"It's just that… Oh, never mind…" Luigi trailed off, figuring that arguing with Wario was as pointless as ever.

"Well, stopping for lunch sounds like a good idea," Peach replied to Mario's initial comment, "Where should we eat? The Hollywood Brown Derby? Hollywood & Vine?..."

"I know!" Daisy interrupted, "Let's eat at the Sci-Fi Dine-In Theater! That restaurant is themed like an old drive-in theater, complete with cheesy monster movies being played!"

"You had me at 'cheesy monster movies'…" Wario responded, "Let's go already!"

* * *

"Gasp! Look out for the oversized blob, you yuppie teenagers! Oh no, it's too late! It got beach jock extra #5!" 

Waluigi, needless to say, was crying in ridiculously sarcastic tones at the movie trailers being played in the restaurant. However, he wasn't the only one shouting at the screen. In fact, the waiters _themselves_ were yelling things at the movies when appropriate! The rest of the gang also had a few things to say about the movies, but they were a little less… loud about it. Take _Attack of the Fifty Foot Woman_, for example…

"Heh, heh…" Mario snickered to himself, "So that's what would happen if Peach ate a Mega Shroom…"

And then there was _Frankenstein vs. the Thing from Outer Space_…

"Bah, the title alone sounds stupid," Wario grunted, "Crossovers stink! Who watches those things anyway? I wouldn't be caught dead in a crossover!"

"I dunno…" Luigi mumbled, rolling his eyes towards the Fourth Wall, "I'm not so sure you should be talking…"

By the time they were finished eating, a cartoon was on the screen depicting a woman getting kidnapped by aliens… and then promptly kicking all their butts by herself.

"Hmm…" Daisy pondered, "That would have really come in handy when Tatanga invaded…"

After the meal, everyone was ready to head out into the park again… Well, almost everyone.

"A-Wha?... You guys want to go back out already? But I just finished eating!" Wario protested.

"So?" Peach questioned.

"I can't exercise right after I eat! I have to wait a little while!"

"Fine… How many minutes?"

"Minutes? I was thinking in terms of hours… WAH!"

Mario, Luigi, Peach, and Daisy all grabbed Wario and dragged him out the door.

* * *

"Hey, guys, hold on for a sec. I gotta check something…" 

As the group was entering their next attraction, MuppetVision 3D, Daisy held everyone up for a moment and pointed at a side door. On the glass window was printed the words "Security Office."

"Woopie-doo…" Wario sarcastically cheered, "I should still be recovering from that meal…"

"See this sign hanging on the door?" Daisy asked, ignoring Wario's remark, "It says, 'Back in 5 minutes. Key is under mat.' And if you actually look under the mat…"

Daisy kneeled down and lifted the mat at the foot of the door and, sure enough, there was a key embedded in the floor!

"Pretty cool…" Luigi commented, "Disney's always a stinker for details, huh?"

After that humorous diversion, the gang filed into the pre-show area and watched as the Muppets got ready for the show in the next room. However, Waluigi wasn't paying any attention to the pre-show, as he had more important things on his mind.

"What the heck are these things?" Waluigi asked, looking at the pair of tinted glasses he received when he entered the building, "What kind of idiots do they think we are, giving us sunglasses when we go _in_doors?"

"Those are the 3-D glasses," Peach explained, "You put them on when you enter the theater to see the 3-D effects."

"Oh, really now?" Waluigi questioned as he put the glasses on. He took about three steps… and immediately tripped and fell flat on his face.

"Uh… You're supposed to wait until you're seated until you put them on…" Mario corrected.

"NOW you tell me this!" Waluigi shouted back, still lying on the floor.

Eventually, everyone was allowed into the main theater. The rules were that everyone had to move as far left as possible in each row, as to allow as many people to fill in behind them. Wario, unfortunately, didn't get the memo… or, more likely, just choosed to ignore it.

"Um, Wario?" Luigi muttered, "Why are you sitting down? There's still five empty seats to your left."

"Yeah, so?" Wario replied, "This is the middle seat! It's mine! All mine! No one else can have it!"

"Seriously… Sometimes you're worse than a little kid!"

"Hey, bub, growing _old_ is mandatory. Growing _up_ is optional."

No matter how much they tried, Wario wouldn't give up his seat. Evidentially, the rest of the group had to climb over Wario to reach the five seats beyond him, and it wasn't very comfortable.

"Alright…" Daisy sighed as she finally reached her seat, "Next show we go to, Wario enters the row _last_."

"Agreed," Peach responded, "Though, maybe we should just leave Wario _behind_ next time…"

Despite the small seat issue, the show was an enjoyable experience, complete with Fozzie's pie in the sky, Miss Piggy's "romantic" musical number, and a finale that brought the house down… literally. Of course, a majority of this was made possible with the 3-D effects.

"Well, that was better than I expected," Waluigi grunted as they left, "oh well, whatever. Let's go to the next ride!"

Waluigi then began to run off back into the park, but Mario suddenly noticed something.

"Waluigi, wait! You forgot to return your 3-D glass…"

Too late. Just like before, Waluigi suddenly tripped and sprawled himself across the floor.

"Sigh…" Mario moaned, shaking his head, "You'd think he'd learn…"

"Heh, he ain't physically capable of learning!" Wario retorted, "I mean, come on! How small do ya think his brain has to be to fit inside that toothpick noggin of his?"

Apparently, Waluigi heard that comment, because the next thing Wario knew, he was stuffed head-first into one of the 3-D glasses return bins.


	27. A Canyon Catastrophe

After managing to pull Wario's head out of the glasses bin, the group began to figure out what to do next.

"How about the Lights, Motors, Action! Extreme Stunt Show?" Mario suggested, "It's a new show from Disneyland Paris."

"You know, we can't forget the Backlot Tour," Peach reminded, "It's one of the classics."

"Oh look!" Luigi cheered ecstatically, "It's the Honey, I Shrunk the Kids Movie Set Adventure! I've always wanted to go in that ever since I was… a… little…"

There was an awkward silence followed by Wario and Waluigi laughing at Luigi at an obnoxiously loud volume. The green-clad plumber was extremely embarrassed and promptly hung his head in shame.

"It was just a suggestion…" Luigi muttered almost incoherently.

"You two dolts leave him alone!" Daisy demanded with such fervor, the Wario Brothers actually _did_ shut up, "Don't worry, Luigi, _I'll_ go with you."

"Wha?... Really?" Luigi gasped, "But they all think that…"

"Nonsense! You said you've always wanted to go! We'll just go by ourselves and let them do what they want."

"You mean… Like a date?"

"Not exactly, unless you call sliding down an oversized roll of film a date," Daisy said with a chuckle, "Come on, let's go."

And with that, the other plumber and the other princess walked off, leaving Mario, Peach, Wario, and Waluigi to decide on what to do.

"So…" Mario began after a slight pause of disbelief, "How about that stunt show?"

* * *

Luckily, the Lights, Motors, Action! Extreme Stunt Show happened to have a show very close to the time when they reached it, so getting seated didn't take very long. The show consisted of the host explaining how Hollywood does one of the stunts commonly found in chase scenes and then a driver performing it live. Afterwards, the same stunt was shown on an overhead screen, with music and special effects added, like in a real movie. While most of the stunts were breath taking, not surprisingly, Wario wasn't interested. When one of the cars jumped over a ramp and landed unscathed, he simply smirked. 

"They call that a stunt?" Wario grumbled, "I do that all the time in those go-kart tournaments! Give me a break!"

When a motorcycle crashed through a window, he didn't even bat an eye.

"Ha! I did that just the other day! By accident, even! I wasn't paying any attention to where I was going, and I crashed by ride through the front window of the WarioWare building! And they can do that on purpose and call it a stunt? Pul-ezzzzze!"

Even a car turning so hard that it flipped up onto its two left wheels wasn't enough to impress Wario.

"Oh, boy. It's riding on two wheels. I do that all the time on my motorcycle… OW!"

Peach, being quite fed up with Wario's constant whining, pulled a frying pan out from her purse and whacked him over the head with it!

"Whatduya do that for?" Wario moaned, rubbing his noggin.

"You were getting annoying." Peach flatly stated, putting her weapon away.

"'Getting'? You mean I haven't reached it yet?"

Peach simply gave him another whack with her kitchen utensil as a reply.

* * *

After the show, the four remaining members of the group walked out and were quickly greeted by Luigi and Daisy. 

"Hey, bro!" Mario called out, "How'd it go?"

"It was really fun…" Luigi paused for a moment, turning a little red, "especially with Daisy…"

Peach, however, was a little more surprised when she saw Daisy.

"Huh? Daisy, you're soaking wet! What happened?"

"Well, you see…" Daisy tried to explain, "There was this giant hose that had a bunch of leaks in it that kept spurting out water, and it was really hot out, so…"

"Oh, dear…" Peach sighed before Daisy could finish, "When we get back home, I really have to give you Beauty 101…"

"So, uh, anyway," Daisy interrupted, trying to quickly change the subject, "you guys saw the stunt show, right? I guess that pretty much just leaves the Backlot Tour! Come on!"

As the group headed towards the entrance to the Backlot Tour, Mario continued to chat with his brother.

"Daisy jumped in the sprinklers, huh?" Mario asked, "I noticed _you_ aren't wet. You didn't go in?"

"Not really… I'm sort of hydrophobic, you know that."

"Luigi, sometimes I think you're phobia-phobic."

"I can't help it! You saw me on the Haunted Mansion! I'm just a big coward, okay?"

"Yeah, but I really don't see how a giant garden hose is all that frightening."

"Well… Okay… You really want to know why?" Luigi asked, making sure no one else could hear them, "The truth is… I was scared of Daisy."

"Look, I know she was a little frightening during that Strikers Tournament, but…"

"NO! You know that's not what I mean! I was just so scared that I'd do something stupid while she was watching! You know, like slip on the wet floor and fall flat on my face!"

"Luigi, let me give you a little bit of advice… What do you think Daisy would do if something like that happened to her, in front of you, even?"

"Well… Knowing her, I guess she would just get up and laugh it off…"

"Exactly! What you need to do is handle things like she does! If you really like her, and she likes you as much in return, neither one of you would care if either one of you screwed something up! Trust me, I've had plenty of embarrassing moments while I was with Peach, and we both just laughed about it! Besides, I know you have _some_ courage in there. I mean, you actually _enjoyed_ Star Tours!"

"I guess…" Luigi meekly replied.

"Right! So, try using some of that courage, _and have fun with Daisy_!"

"You know, you're absolutely right, bro! From now on, I'll be brave enough to be myself! So, what ride are we going on, again?"

"The Backlot Tour. It's a tram ride that goes behind the scenes of how they make movies. There's even a special effects section called Catastrophe Canyon."

"Gulp… Ca.. Catastrophe Ca… Canyon? Um… You know… I think I hear Voyage of the Little Mermaid calling… See ya!"

Luigi was about to run off, but Mario grabbed onto him by the back of his shirt and, literally, dragged him into the entrance of the Backlot Tour.

"Sometimes I wonder if you ever actually listen to me," Mario told Luigi as they went inside.

* * *

Thankfully, as it turned out, Luigi actually enjoyed the Backlot Tour for the most part. Apparently, as he would later admit, Luigi thought that the tour was _just_ Catastrophe Canyon. He didn't at all expect everything they showed even before they got on the tram, and he liked it a lot! From the demonstration on how naval battles were performed to all the life-sized props out in the actual tram portion of the attraction, Luigi was glad that Mario didn't let him run off at the last second. However, when the tram began to approach the infamous Catastrophe Canyon, Luigi was undoubtedly a little nervous. 

"Heh, heh… Well, here we go…" Luigi muttered.

"Don't worry Luigi," Daisy assured, "You'll be alright. You survived Space Mountain and Star Tours, right? This is nothing."

"Wait a second… You went on Space Mountain?" Mario asked, "You never told me that! And here you are worried about Catastrophe Canyon?"

"Uh… Well… I forgot?"

Mario just shook his head in disbelief. His brother screams through the Haunted Mansion, but completely forgets about going on Space Mountain?

"Sigh… You never fail to amaze me, Luigi…"

"Catastrophe Canyon is just a very complex example of what was already shown in that naval battle scene," Peach explained, "Of course, you can get wet here, which is why I'm sitting at the far right here…"

"What I don't get is why **_I_** have to be over here as well!" Daisy interrupted, "I mean, it's not like I could get any wetter!"

While Mario and the Princesses were trying to calm Luigi down as the tram entered the canyon, Wario and Waluigi, naturally, tried to scare the poor guy even more.

"Don't listen to them!" Wario protested in mock fear, "This is the most intense trill ride in all of WDW! Even more so than that Rock n' Roller Coaster!"

"Uh… How would you know?" Waluigi asked, "You didn't even go on it!"

"Shut up and play along!" Wario hissed, "I want to see if I can make Luigi wet his pants before this thing even starts!"

"Oh… Well, when you put it that way… Oh, yeah! Wario's right!" Waluigi 'agreed', "Not only that, it's really scary, too! At one point, Bowser jumps out and tries to eat you!"

"BOWSER?" Luigi repeated, ducking his head between his legs.

Although Waluigi was joking, what no one knew was that he really wasn't that far from the truth. Hiding behind an oil truck balanced precariously on the edge of a cliff in the canyon, Bowser and Bowser Jr. were getting ready for another attempt at eliminating the Mario Bros.

"Oh, boy!" Bowser Jr. celebrated, "all six of 'em are on that thing! We're gonna get rid of them all in one swift blow!"

"Excellent!" Bowser roared in triumph, "Now, all we have to do is simple. During the 'earthquake' here, this oil truck falls and nearly hits the tram. What we're gonna do is give it a little help so it _does_ hit the tram! Ha ha ha!"

Bowser pulled a hacksaw out from seemingly nowhere and began to saw at the thick metal bar underneath the truck that kept it in place (even after it 'falls'). He was only about a quarter through when the canyon started to shake.

"Uh, oh…" Bowser mumbled, "I knew I shoulda started this sooner!"

But an even bigger surprise was about to befall Bowser. Without any warning, the side of the oil tank exploded into flames right in Bowser's face! After the explosion settled down (which was only when the Catastrophe Canyon section of the ride was over and the tram left), Bowser stood completely still for a moment, minus the occasional twitching of one eye on his now ash-covered face, before falling to the ground and passing out. Bowser Jr. just sighed.

"You've survived getting tossed into lava like, what, 20 times now?" son asked father, "This is nothing compared to that! Right, Pop?"

"Ugh… Right…" Bowser replied groggily as he slowly got back up, "Somebody pass me the skin grafts…"

* * *

When Mario and the gang exited the Backlot Tour, the red-capped plumber was pleased to discover that his brother had not gotten a coronary like he had thought. 

"See? That wasn't so bad," Mario explained to Luigi, "everything's perfectly fine!"

"Yeah, that wasn't as bad as I thought," Luigi agreed, "either that, or maybe I _am_ getting a little braver. But I do know one thing for sure…"

Luigi glared over at the Wario Bros., who were whistling not-so-innocently.

"I will refrain from going on many rides with _them_ in the future!"

Author's Note: Well, that wraps up Disney-MGM Studios! Now, I know what you're all thinking... "Wait a second! What about Fantasmic?" You see, that's going to be the _very_ last thing they do on the trip. Sort of "going out with a bang" if you know what I mean. On a (sort of) completely unrelated note, remember how I said I'd be going back to Disney World this summer? Well, guess what? I'm leaving tomorrow! Unforutnately, a bit of a serious personal problem has appeared that might push it back another week or so, but I'm patient! Either way, don't worry about updates, as I should still keep up my "at least one update per month" regimen reguardless of when I leave and come back.


	28. Lions, Tigers, and Wario, oh my!

"Mario?"

"Yes, Luigi?"

"Remember how Peach had us leave the MGM Studios early yesterday, causing us to miss Fantasmic?"

"I told you already, we're going to go back and see that before we leave!" Peach elaborated, "It's a really good show, and I want to save the best for last!"

"Um, yes…" Mario answered, ignoring Peach's remark, "She also did that so we could go to bed early."

"Yes… And that was so we could get up extra early this morning for… This?"

Luigi motioned towards the still closed gates right in front of them.

"The park isn't supposed to open for another hour."

"Ah! That is true for most guests…" Peach explained, "But because we are staying at a Disney hotel, we are allowed to enter a certain park an hour earlier than the rest on a 'Magical Morning'!"

Sure enough, a cast member came out and opened the front gate, letting Mario and the group, as well as other Disney hotel guests, into the fourth park of Walt Disney World: Disney's Animal Kingdom.

"Okay, now that we're in," Peach began as they entered The Oasis, the first area of the park, "We need to figure out where to go first. Waluigi? This was your job!"

"Huh? It was? Oh, yeah…" Waluigi grunted, flipping through the guidebook Peach had given him, "According to the guide, the first ride we should hit is… Uh, how do ya pronounce this? Kill-a-Majora? What is this, a Legend of Zelda ride?"

Daisy snatched the book out of Waluigi's hands and looked at the word he was having trouble with.

"Waluigi… You really can't read this?"

"Uh… No?"

"Sigh… This says Kilimanjaro Safaris."

"Oh, I knew that. I was just… Testing you! Yeah, that's it!"

"Just keep reading…" Daisy requested, smacking Waluigi over the head with the guide.

"Okay, geez… Kilimanjaro Safaris is a ride through a natural looking African environment… bla bla bla… real live animals… yadda yadda yadda… And we should do it first because the animals are most active in the morning. Got all that?"

"Sounds good!" Mario said, "Let's-a go!"

* * *

Although the trek from the front entrance all the way to the back of Africa was rather draining (especially for Wario, who complained the entire way), but the walk paid off, as they were one of the first ones in line. After a very short wait, they were loaded onto a truck and set off on their safari.

"I hope you got your camera ready, Peach," reminded Luigi, "who knows what we'll see on this trip!"

Luigi was right. As Peach was on one of the ends, she was able to get clear shots of many different animals, including elephants, lions, and hippos! Even more interesting was that the truck's path was not blocked off from the animals, and on numerous occasions, the vehicle had to stop to allow animals to cross! Such things made the ride seem like it was a real safari. However, as was almost expected, Wario, who was sitting on the opposite end of the truck, appeared to not find the event interesting at all.

"Boooooring…" Wario groaned, "This is just a zoo on wheels. We've got zoos in the Mushroom Kingdom! Why did we come all the way out here to… Huh? What the?..."

Wario suddenly realized that his hat was missing. Looking around, he suddenly discovered that a giraffe had stuck his head inside the truck and was now munching on his cap!

"HEY! GIMME MY CAP BACK! Geez, first that stupid statue and now this stupid giraffe!"

"Well, the guidebook _did_ say that the giraffes are the most curious creatures on the savannah…" Waluigi commented with a shrug, "Heh, heh, and here I thought this ride was gonna be lame, just like you! I guess we were both wrong, eh?"

Wario wasn't really paying attention, however, as he was currently having a tug-of-war with the giraffe to get his hat back! Eventually, the giraffe realized that fighting for the hat wasn't worth it, as it wasn't a tasty leaf as he apparently first thought, so he let go, causing Wario to tumble backwards a bit. After putting his cap back on his head, he discovered that, while the giraffe didn't tear through it, he did leave it very lumpy and wet.

"Grr… Stupid animal…" Wario grumbled, "I have half a right to jump out and drag that giraffe by the throat over to the lion den and toss him in!"

Regardless, the ride continued. One frightening moment was when the truck crossed over a bridge spanning an alligator pit. Suddenly, the bridge began shaking, and the truck almost fell off!

"Oh no!" Peach squealed, "My camera!"

As it turned out, Peach had her camera out while they were going over the bridge, and the sudden vibrating caused her to drop it! Fortunately, at the last second, Mario reached out and managed to get one finger around the wriststrap and quickly pulled it back into the truck.

"And this," Mario explained, handing the camera back to her, "is why we use wriststraps."

"Oops, tee hee… Sorry, Mario," apologized Peach, "I'll remember next time. I hope…"

As the ride went on, things suddenly turned serious. Two of the elephants, a mother and child named Big Red and Little Red, were captured by poachers! The tour guide quickly decided to help the wildlife preserve capture the poachers by blocking off their exit with the truck. As it sped through the savannah and into the forest, Mario and the gang cheered them on.

"Woo, hoo! You can do it!" Mario encouraged.

"Yeah!" Daisy agreed, "Teach those poachers a thing or two!"

"Oh yeah… wee… go you…" Wario mumbled sarcastically, "It's not like you go through this _exact same thing_ every fifteen minutes or anything…"

Of course, being Disney, the group was able to stop the hunters and they were assured that Big and Little Red were okay. After this heroic turn of events, the ride ended.

"Well, that was fun!" Daisy cheered as she got off, "Did you get a lot of pictures of the animals, Peach?"

"Uh, huh," the other princess replied, "I got a lion, a rhino, some flamingos, and, of course, Wario, who could probably qualify as an animal, wrestling with the giraffe."

"I heard that…" Wario grumbled.

"You should have. I was talking to you."

"So, anyway…" Luigi asked, "What's next?"

"Well, let's see…" Waluigi replied, "It's a giant roller coaster through a snowy mountain that's guarded by an abominable snowman."

"Huh? I thought the Matterhorn was only in Disney_land_."

"Who said this was the Matterhorn?" Waluigi said with a smirk, "I'm talking about Expedition Everest."

Author's note: Remember in the last chapter how I said a personal problem might push my vacation to WDW back? Well, it did, and I still haven't gone yet. However, there is some very good news: First off, the problem has been pretty much resolved, and it was certianly worth putting off the vactation to wait for it to settle down and, secondly, I am now, for certain, leaving tomorrow! See ya all in two weeks!


	29. Scaling Mountains

The tall, snow capped mountain loomed menacingly off in the distance, the foreboding peak daring anyone to come near. One could hear a train slowly ascending the natural citadel before another suddenly roared back downwards at a breakneck speed, accompanied by the screams of those onboard. As Luigi looked at the towering heights, he could only sputter one question…

"You expect me to ride that thing?"

"Yes, Luigi…" Mario replied, "We are going to ride that."

"But… But… It's huge! And scary! And that's the biggest drop I've ever seen! Are you insane?"

As Luigi turned to the others, hoping pitifully to get some support on his side, when he noticed that everyone else had walked ahead… Except for Daisy, who was still admiring the mountain from a distance.

"Wow!" Daisy cheered, "That ride looks awesome! I can't wait to go on that!"

Luigi stared at Daisy for a moment, and then hesitantly turned back to Mario.

"Well, uh… Fine, I'll go on it… But can I… um… sit next to Daisy?" Luigi asked, turning a little red.

"Sure," Mario replied, slightly rolling his eyes.

"Thanks! Erm… Hey, Daisy! Wait for me!"

As Luigi ran off after the princess, Mario sighed knowingly, realizing that Luigi _was_ actually taking his advice.

"It's amazing what love can do…" Mario mumbled, following after his brother.

* * *

The steam train slowly ascended the mountain, pushing the cars holding Mario and the gang ahead of it as it went. Luigi observed the surroundings from the incredible height and talked to Daisy, trying his hardest to forget about the inevitable drop that was soon to come.

"So… Uh… Wow, we're up pretty high, aren't we?" Luigi muttered.

"Yeah, we really are!" Daisy agreed, "Look over to the left… I think I can see the Magic Kingdom from here!"

Luigi looked and, sure enough, he could make out some of the taller landmarks of the Magic Kingdom, like Splash Mountain and Big Thunder Mountain.

"Oh, cool! Look at that!" Luigi shouted, "You're right, Daisy! You can really see far from here!"

For one moment, Luigi had forgotten all his fear. For one single moment, Luigi wasn't scared. Unfortunately, Waluigi made sure that it _stayed_ only one moment.

"Yeah, what a pretty view…" Waluigi snorted, "Let's see you remember that when we run into that yeti!"

"YETI? OH SHROOM! I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THE YETI ON THIS RIDE! YIKES!"

"Way to go, Waluigi…" Peach murmured, "You couldn't let Luigi enjoy himself for once, could you?"

"I'm going to take that as a compliment," Waluigi retorted with a smug grin on his face.

If he hadn't been sitting in a different car than Peach, she probably would have killed Waluigi outright. Fortunately (or perhaps _un_fortunately), she couldn't reach him from where she was sitting. Regardless, the train kept moving up the mountain… Unaware that the yeti wasn't the only giant monster waiting for them.

"Um… Pop? Explain this to me again…" Bowser Jr. requested, "We're gonna get rid of the Mario Bros. by _fixing_ the track here?"

"We're not fixing the track, boy!" Bowser corrected, "We're wrecking it!"

"But it looks wrecked already…"

Bowser put his hand on his forehead and sighed. This was harder to explain than he thought.

"Ok, son… You see this track here?"

Bowser Jr. looked at where Bowser was pointing. The track right in front of them was part of the 'railroad' the ride was on, obviously, but there was something very peculiar about it: it just stopped. The railway at the very top of the mountain looked like it was ripped out, and the remaining rails were bent upwards in a crooked fashion.

"Yeah… It looks like someone beat us to hijacking this ride."

"That 'someone' is the yeti!" Bowser explained, quickly losing his patience, "According to the ride's story, the yeti got mad that some idiot built a railroad on his turf, so he started ripping it apart! This part of the track is _supposed_ to look damaged! When the train reaches this part, it stops and starts going down the mountain backwards!"

"Then why do we care?"

"The rail is bent upwards at a very high angle and is bent wildly so that the train doesn't accidentally come flying off the track here. If we 'fix' the track, that is, make the rails flat and even again, the train will keep going and ride off the side of the mountain… taking the Mario Bros. with it!"

"Oh, now I get it!... But how are we gonna 'fix' the track?"

"Like this!"

Bowser grabbed the left rail and tried to pull it downwards. However, it wouldn't budge. Undaunted, he moved his hand to the very end of the rail and began to apply a little extra force, but it still wouldn't move an inch.

"Grr… Stupid rail… Move, why don'tcha?"

The only response Bowser got was a sudden 'snap!' as the one inch of the rail he was holding in his hand broke clean off. This caused Bowser to suddenly lose his balance, and he toppled head-over-heels down the mountain!

"Hey, Pop!" Bowser Jr. called out as he climbed down after his father, "I thought you said you wanted to send the _train_ down the mountain, not _yourself_!"

"Shut… Ow!... Your… Eek!... Trap!... Argh!..." Bowser retorted in between bashing his brains against rock ledges on the way down.

Meanwhile, the train itself had finally reached the wrecked rails and came to a complete halt.

"What the heck?" Wario grunted, "The track just ends? What, did the builders just get lazy or something?"

"I think the yeti did this," Mario corrected.

"Oh, right… I knew that."

"Well, we can't go any further…" Luigi pondered, "Now what?"

His question was answered when the train started to slowly move backwards.

"Ah… Heh, heh… That's what… Gulp…"

Luigi held onto his lap bar tightly as the train began to pick up speed when he suddenly felt something on his hand. Looking down, he saw that it was Daisy's hand holding on to his to comfort him. He shyly looked over to her in the seat next to him and saw her smile warmly for a second before the train plunged into total darkness.

* * *

Luigi never remembered what happened after that. He couldn't recall going down the incredibly steep drop seen from the front of the ride or the close encounter with the yeti at the very end. He felt like time jumped straight from when Daisy held his hand to when the train stopped at the unloading station, and he felt perfectly fine, to boot. While Mario and Peach bought the obligatory souvenir photo (and Wario and Waluigi tormented some poor six-year-olds with a yeti plushie), Luigi and Daisy waited outside the attraction.

"You didn't have to go on, you know," Daisy stated.

Luigi didn't reply. Instead, he just looked out over Discovery River, which passed right in front of the mountain.

"I already told you: you don't have to go on all these big, scary rides to impress me. I like you anyway, Luigi!"

"I know…" Luigi said, turning to face her, "I know it looks like I'm showing off and saying, 'hey, look at me, I conquered all my fears to impress you' and all that, but the truth is, I'm not going on to _show_ you that I'm brave… I'm going on because you _make_ me brave!"

It was Daisy's turn to be silent as Luigi fumbled around for the right words.

"You see… I would never go on any of these rides just to impress anyone. If I did, I would just be lying to them, and myself… But when I'm with you, I feel like I can take on anything! Sure, it doesn't always work, like on the Tower of Terror, but I wouldn't even _try_ if it weren't for you! It isn't a matter of me impressing you, it's you inspiring me! It isn't me doing something to _impress_ you, it's me doing something _because_ you! It's… It's because I lo---"

_Click!_

Luigi whirled around to see Wario and Waluigi standing a short distance away. Wario was holding a camera (which he clearly already had used) and Waluigi began teasing the couple.

"_Luigi and Daisy, sittin' in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G…_"

"Ruining the moment as always…" Daisy sighed.

"Let them be," Luigi responded, "I don't think neither of us care what they think of us, right?"

"Right," Daisy replied.

And so, holding hands, the two walked off, hearing the satisfying sound of Peach's frying pan hitting against both Wario Bros.' heads only moments later.

Author's Note: And I'm back! Miss me? Of course you did. Anyway, I have returned from my trip to Disney World with a renewed vigor for writing this story (not that the old vigor ever went away or anything...). However, I have a very small question. When I was at Disney World, I discovered that quite a bit has changed in two years that somewhat affects certain parts of this fanfiction. Nothing on the scale of a full-blown attraction (THANK GOD), but changes nonetheless. Should I go through the trouble of re-editing certain parts of this fic that are now... out-of-date? Or should I focus on updating new chapters rather than fixing old ones?


	30. Blast to the Past

"So, what next, Waluigi?" Mario asked as they walked though Asia.

"Grr… How am I supposed to know?"

"You were the one who researched this place in the guidebook!"

"Not like I had any choice thanks to the Disney Nazi over there…"

"What was that?" Peach interrupted, glaring at Waluigi.

"I mean… Um… You didn't hear anything, get your hearing checked! Anyway… The guide says we should go on Kali River Rapids next, 'cuz the line gets really long later in the day."

"But isn't that a wet ride?" Luigi remembered.

"Yeah, what's your point?"

"It isn't all that hot out yet. Shouldn't we wait until it's hot out so we can go on and cool off?"

"Weren't you listening, stupid? We _can't_ go on later because the line will be to long!"

"What about a FastPass?" Daisy suggested.

"Eh? What about it?"

"Well…" Daisy explained, "If we get one _now_, by the time we have come back to ride, it will be hot out!"

"Yeah, but… Um… Er… That's just stupid!"

"You just don't want to admit you just got beaten by a girl, do you?" Peach teased.

"Grr… Fine! You win! But if anything goes wrong, it ain't my fault!"

The group walked over to Kali River Rapids (with Wario yelling at Waluigi the entire way for giving in so easily) and got their FastPasses, which weren't for much later in the day. In the meantime, the park was just opening for all the guests not staying at a Disney resort, and it was beginning to fill up quickly.

"Uh oh…" Luigi murmured, "Are there any more big rides at this park? We better do 'em before it gets too crowded!"

"Oh yeah…" Waluigi responded with a sly grin, "There's this little ride in Dinoland U.S.A., called Dinosaur, that's quite popular. It's a dark ride… You know, like the rides in Fantasyland. You should have no trouble riding it, pal."

"How dumb do you think I am?" Luigi chuckled sarcastically as they began making their way over to the attraction.

"Do you _really_ want him to answer that?" Mario replied.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"That's an awfully big jeep…"

"They're called 'Time Rovers', Luigi."

"Oh, yeah… Right, Peach."

The group had already made their way through Dinosaur's waiting queue and the preshow room and was now waiting to board the ride vehicles. Apparently, they were on a 'secret' mission to go back in time and capture an iguanodon and get out before the infamous meteorite that wiped out the dinosaurs stuck the earth.

"So let me get this straight…" Wario groaned, "We're gonna go risk our lives, probably nearly get eaten by a T-Rex or obliterated by a giant rock or something, just to bring back a prehistoric yoshi?"

"Iguanodon," Mario corrected.

"Whatever! And who's the idiot that decided to send us to about five minutes before it hits, anyway? Can't we go a little earlier, like… I dunno… a YEAR before it hits?"

"Oh wow…" Daisy gasped in mock surprise, "Did Wario actually ask an intelligent question?"

"I always ask intelligent questions!" Wario retorted, "People should listen to me more often! I'm…"

SHOVE!

"Wah! What was that for?" Wario, who was now lying face-down in a seat of the Time Rover, shouted.

"You were getting annoying. Is it ever any other reason?" Daisy replied with a playful smirk.

After everyone else got in the car, it set off into a 'time portal' and soon they were in the prehistoric times.

"Okie dokie," Mario murmured, sitting in the car's driver seat, "let's go find that dinosaur!"

"Right…" Waluigi grunted, "It's not like we'll find him no matter what…"

The jeep roared through the ancient jungle, weaving past (and, sometimes, _over_) other dinosaurs, but none of them were the iguanodon. Eventually, they stumbled across one creature that was _definitely_ not the one they were looking for: A huge, carnivorous brute with sharp horns and even sharper fangs.

"Gulp… Y… Y… Yoshi? Is that you?..." Luigi stuttered.

"Nope…" Mario answered, "… Unless he's been taking styling tips from Giga Bowser…"

The Time Rover sped off, with the carnotaurus in hot pursuit. Despite their best efforts, the hulking dinosaur was always one step behind them, and they still hadn't found their iguanodon, and the meteor was coming closer!

"Hey, didn't I tell you we would be nearly eaten by a dinosaur and obliterated by a meteor?" Wario reminded.

"Oh, can it, Wario!" Peach hissed.

Soon, it seemed like finding their dino was hopeless. There was less than a minute left until the meteor impact, and there was still no sign of the iguanodon. However, moments before the mission was aborted, they finally found him squaring off with the carnotaurus!

"We found him!" Luigi shouted, "Let's get outta here!"

"You got it, bro!" Mario replied, "Let's-a go!"

They couldn't have cut it any closer. By the time the time portal re-opened, the meteor was clearly visible descending from the sky. After barely escaping extinction, the group found that the iguanodon had, indeed, come back with them… And was now running around in the Dino Institute, causing mayhem in general.

"Phew… That was a close one," Daisy muttered as they left the attraction, "So how did you like it, Luigi?"

"Well, it wasn't _quite_ as bad as I would have thought," Luigi answered with a shrug, "with that giant dinosaur and all… Maybe I'm just used to dinos thanks to Yoshi or something."

"Or maybe you're just getting a little bit braver!" Daisy suggested, ruffling Luigi's hair a bit.

"Hey! Knock it off! There's a reason I keep it under a hat, you know!"

While the couple was talking, Mario and Peach, who had just finished up buying the obligatory souvenir photo, where watching them from inside the gift shop.

"They really are meant for each other, aren't they?" Peach asked.

"Yeah," Mario replied, thinking about how closely their relationship reflected his with Peach, "they really are."


	31. Wet and Wild

**Warning! You _will _get wet! You may get SOAKED!**

"Well, looks like they're covering all the bases here, hmm?" Mario asked sarcastically, "Well, it's-a good thing we waited until midday to do this. It's starting to get really hot out!"

"As long as it's not scary…" Luigi said nonchalantly with a shrug, "I can handle wet."

Luigi turned and saw a few people exiting Kali River Rapids. They all seemed rather exited after riding the attraction, judging from the smiles on their faces, but Luigi noticed something else: they were completely _drenched_. Every article of their clothing was dripping profusely, leaving visible puddles as they walked.

"Erm… On second thought…" Luigi murmured, "Maybe I should go grab a poncho. You know, just in case…"

"I agree," Peach reiterated, pulling a few ponchos out of her purse, "Anyone else want one? Daisy?"

"Ha ha… Nah," Daisy shrugged, "I like getting wet, regardless of what your 'Beauty 101' says."

"Fine, but don't think you can get out of me teaching you a few things… Anyway, how about you, Mario?"

"No thanks, I'm fine. My clothes seem to dry really fast."

"Okay, and you guys?"

"Ha! You've gotta be kiddin' me!" Wario snorted, "Ponchos are for wussies! Right, Waluigi?"

"Uh, actually…" Waluigi mumbled, "I was gonna ask for one… OW!"

After Wario began stepping on his toes, Waluigi quickly decided to change his mind.

"I mean… Yeah! Ponchos are for wimps! Ha! You're all a bunch of idiots!"

"Well, we'll see whose the 'idiot' after the ride is over," Luigi replied, pulling the obnoxiously bright yellow poncho over his body, "ready to go?"

* * *

"So lemme get this straight…" Wario began as the circular raft left the rotating loading dock, "According to this ride's backstory, this forest is being cut down by loggers, and a bunch of whiny tree huggers are complaining about it?"

"They are _not_ a bunch of tree huggers," Mario, who was sitting right across from Wario, explained, "they're just people protesting the fact that an endangered environment is being destroyed when there are plenty of other places the loggers can get wood from instead. What's wrong with that?"

"Good grief, does _everything_ at this dang park have a freakin' environmental message attached? Look, I recycle and I turn the water off when I brush my teeth, so why won't these stupid eco wennies leave me alone?"

"Wait a second…" Waluigi interupted, "… You brush your teeth? Gee, you had me fool--- YEOW!"

Waluigi had the unfortunate situation of being seated right next to Wario, making it very easy for him to deck Waluigi square in the nose.

"Hey, twerp, I had to beat on ya two times in ten minutes. Keep it up and we might be seeing a new record here."

"I'd me honored," Waluigi grumbled sarcastically, rubbing his sore nose.

The raft flowed down the river a bit until it floated on top of a large, wooden conveyer belt, where it slowly began to ascend up a hill.

"Okie-dokie, here we go…" Luigi muttered, pulling the hood of his poncho up over his head.

"Yeah, I hope I don't get wet," Peach responded, tucking a few remaining strands of hair under her hood, "why did I even agree to go on this ride? I should've stayed off and watched all the stuff."

"Aw, come on, Peach!" Daisy interrupted, putting her hands behind her head, "Are you really that concerned about getting wet? You've got to lighten up, girl!"

"And you've got to calm down! I mean, that's going to be the second dress in as many days that will wind up soaking wet!"

"So? It's hot out. I want to cool off. Nothing wrong with that, right?"

"But that dress will be ruined!"

"It's not like I don't have another one…"

"Sigh… Women…" Mario whispered to Luigi, "Can you imagine a couple of guys arguing over getting their clothes wet?"

Luigi shook his head in response.

"Nope. Forget my clothes; I'm just wearing a poncho so my underwear doesn't get soaked!"

Unfortunately, Luigi said this loud enough that Wario could hear.

"You still wear tidy-whities?" Wario sneered with a smirk, "Heh, you aren't even man enough to wear boxers? What a wimp!"

"What the… Why does it even matter?" Luigi, completely befuddled by Wario's remark, retorted.

"'Cuz everyone knows that undergarments determine one's masculinity!" Wario replied.

"Oh really now?" Mario intervened, "Are _you_ wearing boxers?"

"Heck no! I'm too manly even for those! I'm goin' commando!"

There was a _very_ awkward silence in the raft as everyone looked at Wario, who, for whatever reason, was beaming with pride at his announcement.

"Um… Ew…" Daisy murmured, "That was waaaaay too much information…"

"Erm… Why were we talking about underwear again?" Luigi asked.

"I dunno…" Mario replied, shrugging, "When Wario opens his mouth, there is _never_ an explanation…"

Thankfully, the raft finally reached the top of the hill at this point and quietly slipped back into the water. It began down the river slowly at first, but it quickly began to pick up speed. The first potential soak spot it reached: a series of geysers, including one that the raft floated right over. As the raft moved off of the geyser, the water quickly shot back up high into the air, drenching the entire raft.

"Whoa!" Mario shouted, "Wasn't expecting _that_!"

"Yikes!" Luigi yelped, "Good thing I'm wearing a poncho!"

"Eek!" Peach shrieked, "I hope my dress won't be ruined!"

"Yahoo!" Daisy cheered, "That was awsome!"

"Gah!" Wario groaned, "Now my pants are ridin' up my butt!"

"Gag! Hack!" Waluigi sputtered, spitting out water that accidentally landed right in his mouth, "Okay, just in case anyone was curious, the water Disney uses in their boat rides does _not_ taste good! Trust me!"

Of course, that wasn't nearly the end of it. Next, the raft barreled down a winding river. Whenever it hit a bend in the waterway, water overflowed into the raft, soaking everyone's legs and feet.

"Hmm…" Luigi mused, looking at his now soggy shoes, "I think I found a flaw in my poncho plan…"

"No kidding…" Peach responded, looking sadly at her high heels.

The river calmed down as it flowed into a huge open area. Here, it was obvious that the illegal loggers were at work. All that remained of the forest was tree stumps. A huge amount of logging equipment dominated the area, and whatever remained of the trees was currently on fire.

"Gee…" Daisy murmured, "I can't believe there are bums who actually do this stuff!"

"Well, whaduya know?" Waluigi joked, "Looks like Wario got his environmental message for this ride!"

"Shut up…" Wario grumbled, "Or I'll hit you again for a third--- WHOA!"

What Wario wasn't expecting was that, while he was threatening Waluigi, the raft was slowly approaching a huge drop! Although the Mario Bros. and the princesses saw this and were ready for it, the Wario Bros. were caught completely off guard. Another thing that _no one_ was expecting, however, was the effect of Wario's weight. When the raft hit the bottom of the drop, Wario's hefty build caused a huge wave to cascade over the raft!

"Good going, Wario…" Luigi moaned, "I think that wave got under my poncho…"

"Hey, why is everyone blaming _me_? Maybe Mario has been packing on a few extra pounds!"

The raft floated back towards the loading dock, but not before it went under a bridge where mischievous guests could press a button, sending even more water down on them!

"Hey! Knock it off up there!" Waluigi demanded, "Or I'll come up on that bridge and throw you over the side!"

"I don't think you'll be able to do much of anything," Mario commented, "By the time you get up there, they'll be halfway to Camp Minnie-Mickey…"

Mario was right. By the time Waluigi got out of the raft and ran up to the bridge, the kids that had soaked them were long gone.

"Grr… Stupid kids! When I get my hands on them, I'll…"

Wario, on the other hand, was focusing on more important things, like drying off his pants. At a lack of better options, he decided to go into the men's restroom to take care of it. Since Mario also had to go to the restroom for... more natural reasons, he knew it wouldn't take long to see Wario do some semi-insane spectacle. He was, once again, right.

"Yo, Mario, get a look at this!"

"Hmm?" Mario asked as he finished washing his hands, "What is it?"

Wario motioned towards a long line right in front of the hand dryers. Most of the men, who clearly also had just ridden Kali River Rapids, had removed their soaked shirts and were using the hand dryers to dry them off!

"Can you believe this? They stole my idea! The bums! I should demand legal payments!"

"Right, Wario… I'm sure you were the first…" Mario sighed as he grabbed a few paper towels and walked out. Once outside, he could see Luigi and Peach trying unsuccessfully to pack up their ponchos into as small of a space as possible, with a delightfully drenched Daisy looking on.

"Having trouble there, guys?" Mario asked.

"Nope!" Luigi replied, "We're… Stupid poncho… Fine!"

"Sure you are," Daisy teased, "don't you think it would have been easier just to not wear those?"

"Not really," Peach retorted, "at least I'm still dry, unlike _someone_ I know…"

"Hey, at least I'm cooled off now! You should try it sometime, Peach!"

While the two princesses continued to playfully bicker, Mario took the poncho out of Luigi's hands and quickly folded it with no trouble at all.

"So, Luigi, how are things with Daisy now?"

"Um… Pretty good, I guess…" Luigi answered, "… By the way, thanks for that little prep talk back in MGM Studios. I think that actually sorta helped."

"No problem, bro," Mario responded, handing Luigi his poncho back, "Buds helping buds makes the world go 'round, right?"

Luigi looked at Daisy, whom Peach was currently dragging into the women's restroom to attempt to clean her up, and then back at Mario. He slowly smiled.

"Right."


	32. Going Batty

"Mahawawa Jungle Trek?... No… Mahowjawe?... Grr… Yo, Luigi, get over here!"

Luigi just rolled his eyes as he walked over to where Waluigi was standing. Apparently, his purple-clad rival was having issues reading the name of the next attraction.

"What's up, Waluigi?" Luigi asked, pointing to the overhead sign, "Having trouble reading that?"

"Heck yeah!" Waluigi replied, "It's in Yiddish or something! You're a nerd, translate this stupid thing!"

Luigi took one look at the sign and quickly read it out loud.

"It says _Maharaja_ Jungle Trek… Apparently, you have the same issues that Wario has when it comes to reading stuff…"

"HEY! Whadaya talkin' about, bub?" Wario shouted, "I can read any sign fluently, unlike twig-head over there!"

"Uh, huh…" Mario mumbled, "You sure handled _El Rio de Tiempo _very well…"

"Well… Um… Besides that… And that doesn't count, anyway, 'cuz Spanish is stupid!"

"Right… Let's just go in, okay?" Luigi suggested.

"Agreed," Daisy responded, walking ahead, "I've reached my acceptance limit for idiots today."

"Wha?... Hey! I'm not an idiot!" Wario countered, "Now, Waluigi… He's an idiot, but I'm not!"

Waluigi immediately shot Wario a death glare, but before either one of them could leap at the other's jugular, Peach grabbed them both by the ears and dragged them into the jungle trek.

"Ow! Hey, lady! Let go of my ear!" Wario demanded, "For crying out loud, I'm not in preschool here!"

"Gee, you could've fooled me…" Peach snipped back.

Once everyone finally entered the Maharaja Jungle Trek, they walked through some dense forest until they came upon the first exhibit: the Komodo dragon.

"Whoa! That's a big looking thing!" Luigi commented.

"Yep," Mario agreed, "Komodo dragons are the largest lizards in the world."

"Besides, Bowser, you mean?"

"Um… I always thought he was more of a turtle or something…" Mario mumbled, scratching his head, "… Remind me to ask him what he is exactly the next time I fight him."

"Yeah, well, this is boring," Waluigi dead-panned, "when are we going to reach the actual ride?"

"Ride?" Peach asked.

"What? Are you a moron? This is the waiting queue for a ride, right?"

"Um… No…" Daisy responded, "This is walking trail to see all the Asian animals. This isn't a real 'ride'."

"WHAT!? YOU MEAN ALL WE'RE DOIN' IS LOOKIN' AT A BUNCH OF FURBALLS!?"

"Technically, the Komodo dragon isn't furry. He's scaly…" Luigi corrected.

"I don't care! If there isn't a ride, I'm outta here!"

And with that, Waluigi promptly stormed off.

"Uh, huh…" Wario mumbled, "… You know what? I agree with him. See ya, losers!"

Wario then quickly followed Waluigi out of the jungle trek, leaving only the Mario Bros. and the Princesses behind to go through the rest of the trail.

"Okay, that was weird…" Mario trailed off.

"When are the Wario Bros. _not_ weird?" Daisy asked hypothetically.

"Touché… Anyway, let's keep moving, shall we?"

The gang continued down the trail until they reached a rather large looking pagoda. Adorning the entire outside of it were various artistic renditions of bats, giving an all-too-obvious clue as to what was inside.

"Erm…" Luigi murmured, "There are gonna be _real_ bats in there, huh? Not audio-animatronics, right?"

"Yep," Mario replied, "but don't worry, they're just fruit bats. They wouldn't even think of sinking their fangs into someone."

"Nice to know…" Luigi gulped, nervously opening the door.

Once inside, they discovered that the pavilion was divided into two sections: one containing the bats, and the other just containing info on them, in case one did not want to view the bats so… up-close.

"Well, it looks like you can avoid the bats after all, Luigi," Peach began, "you want to wait for us out here until we're done?"

Luigi thought for a moment, looked at Daisy, and then looked back at the entrance to the 'bat room' with a determined look on his face.

"No thanks. If I can handle Expedition: Everest, I can handle a couple of fruit bats. Let's-a go."

Without a second's hesitation, Luigi walked into the bat room. Inside, the room was also divided into two sections: one where the guests watched the bats, and the other where the bats flew around. As it turned out, the two sections were separated not by a cage or a pane of glass, but simply by a series of columns about three feet apart that went halfway down from the ceiling and a solid wall the rest of the way to the floor. Cautiously, Luigi stuck his head in-between the pillars.

"Hmm…" Luigi pondered, "There's nothing solid keeping them over there, I wonder why the bats aren't flying around in---"

"WHOA!" Mario shouted, "LUIGI! LOOK OUT!"

Luigi quickly decided it was probably better _not_ to look and just pull his head back into the other side of the room. Once he did so, he caught a glimpse of a bat swooping down and landing right on the other side of the divider, where Luigi's head was moments before.

"That was a close one!" Luigi gasped, "Thanks, bro.!"

"No prob!" Mario answered, giving him a thumbs up, "Just looking out for my younger brother!"

"Tee hee!" Peach giggled, waving her camera at Luigi, "The look on your face there was priceless! And I got a picture of it! That one's definitely going into the scrapbook!"

Rather than replying to Peach's tease, Luigi turned his attention back to the bat, observing it looking at him funnily, then spreading its wings and flying back towards its section of the room. Upon seeing it extend its wings, Luigi promptly figured out the answer to his own question.

"Did you see the wingspan on that thing!?" Luigi asked, pointing at the bat, which was now feasting on a sliver of fruit, "It must have been at least five feet long! No wonder they can't fly in here! If they tried, they'd lose their wings trying to fly between these poles!"

"Hmm, your right, Luigi!" Daisy commented, sticking her head as far into the other side as possible, "That's a pretty cool idea Disney had there, eh? They really know how to make the connection between the humans and the animals virtually unnoticeable!"

"Daisy! Get your head back in here now!" Peach demanded, "I don't want some bat taking out half your face!"

"Hmph… Spoilsport…" Daisy sighed, retracting her head back into the other room, "Before this vacation is over, I'm gonna show you what its like to be a little more on the wild side."

"And _I'm_ going to show you what its like to actually have the dignity of a princess!"

"You already did! You dragged me into that spa, remember?"

"That doesn't count!"

"Why not?"

"Because… Because…"

Mario and Luigi quickly lost interest in the playful quarrel the girls were having and looked at the bats again.

"So…" Luigi began, "Why do ya think the bat dove at me like that? I guess the phrase 'blind as a bat' is real, huh?"

"Not really," Mario answered, "Although they do indeed have poor vision, they are able to detect their surroundings by making noises and listening to them echo as they bounce off of things, like a natural sonar. Some bats are even able to catch insects as they are flying through the air! Chances are, he probably thought your nose was a huge fruit or something."

"Um… Okay…" Luigi replied, looking at his nose, "But my nose doesn't look like a fruit!"

"Well, its round like one, and that's probably all the bat 'saw'. Hey, I'm only saying they're not totally blind, I'm not saying they're intelligent."

"How do you know all this stuff, anyway?" Luigi asked, "Did E. Gadd give you lectures on animals or what?"

"Well, I had to take some biology courses when I was getting my doctrine," Mario explained, "Did you know that I'm only a few credits away from being a legitimate veterinarian?"

"Sigh… You're such a nerd, 'Dr.' Mario…" Luigi teased, giving his brother a playful knock on the shoulder, "I'm still learning the ropes of mechanical engineering by hanging around in E. Gadd's garage."

"Yeah, well, you still seem to know a lot about mechanics. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have been able to fix our Double-Dash kart in time for the All-Cup, remember?"

"Oh yeah… Heh, heh…" Luigi responded, recalling the rather humorous memory, "Well, I wouldn't have had to do that if you didn't decide to see what happened if you used a blue shell in first place! You know, for someone who has a doctrine… Anyway, I guess it's time we moved on, eh?"

"Right! Hey, ladies?"

Mario turned back to Peach and Daisy, who were still debating over something or other. At this point, however, they seemed to be wrapping things up with some sort of agreement.

"So it's a deal then!" Daisy declared, "You'll do something tomboyish with me, and I'll do something girly with you, agreed?"

"Agreed!" Peach replied, shaking Daisy's hand.

"Um, what's up?" Luigi asked, "Finally settled your little quibble?"

"Yep!" Daisy answered, "Now let's get outta here! This place is starting to get a little boring!"

Although no one could quite understand how a room full of bats could ever become 'boring', they did agree that it was time to leave the bat pavilion behind. Moving onward from the pagoda, they found themselves in the ruins of an ancient Asian temple… and it was roaming with tigers!

"Heh heh…" Luigi chuckled, tapping on the huge glass window separating them from the tigers, "I guess even Disney realized that safety was more important than discreetness here."

"No kidding," Mario agreed, "I'd rather play it safe as well when it comes to things that eat other animals… and humans."

"Eh, I'm pretty sure they're well fed," Daisy countered, looking at a tiger lying lazily in the shade of a tree, "they probably wouldn't bother with us either way."

"Still I'd rather not take any chances," Peach concluded as she pulled out her camera again, "especially when I want to take a good picture of them! Okay you big cats, say cheese!"

The tigers didn't really respond to Peach's call. Most of the pictures she took either had them not facing the camera, yawning, or looking dead-on with seemingly complete indifference. Mario looked over Peach's shoulder and glanced at a few of the pictures on the screen as she scrolled through them again.

"Hmm… Not a photogenic bunch, are they?" Mario joked.

"Right, but it'll have to do," Peach answered with a sigh, putting the camera back in her purse, "you have to admit, though, the yawning ones are funny."

After the tigers, it wasn't much longer until they found themselves walking out the exit of the jungle trek and back into the park.

"Well that was fun," Luigi commented, "we got some pictures, we saw a giant lizard, I nearly got my face flattened by a low-flying bat… Not a bad nature trail, if I do say so myself. So, what's next?"

"Well, the first order of business is, of course, to find the Two Stooges that ditched us on the trek…" Daisy replied.

"How are we going to find them?" Peach asked, "We were in there for quite a while, they could be anywhere!"

"Simple," Mario assured, "look for someone doing something _really_ stupid. That's where we'll find them."

Sure enough, Mario was right. After about five minutes of searching, the group found Wario and Waluigi, completely loaded down with various snacks and drinks, standing in front of a series of Asian ruins that was teeming with howler monkeys. As they approached, one of the monkeys made a bellowing call that was so loud, could probably be heard on the other side of the park! Wario, however, wasn't impressed.

"You call that loud, you Diddy Kong knock-off?" Wario sneered, "Here, watch. _I'll_ show you how it's done!"

With that, Wario swallowed a huge gulp of the soda he was holding, waited a second, and then released a deafening belch that was just as loud, if not louder, than the howler monkey's call. The monkeys seemed to enjoy this, as they all began hollering in unison after Wario's act.

"See, you dopes?" Waluigi announced, "THAT'S how it's done! Give a big hand for him, will ya?"

The rest of the group simply remained silent, not so much from shock, but because they simply couldn't come up with anything to say that hadn't already been said about the Wario Bros. Eventually, Mario was able to come up with something.

"Hey, Luigi…" Mario mumbled.

"Yeah?"

"You know, I don't believe in evolution, but…" Mario paused as he looked at Wario, Waluigi, and the monkeys, "… I think I'm beginning to see why people would think that we came from monkeys."

* * *

Author's Note: Phew! Talk about cutting it close! I know I've been doing that a lot with this story (resulting in somewhat sparse updates), but things at home have been rather hectic these past few months, so I've been focused on things a little bit more important than fanfictions. That doesn't mean I've forgotten my little schedule: I still plan to update at LEAST once a month. However, just hang with me as I have to push that self-imposed rule to the very limit. 


	33. It's for the Birds!

The group made their way back towards the Africa section of the park as the day slowly moved into the afternoon. Mario looked at his watch (which had a picture of Link in it with his sword and shield as the minute and hour hands) to discover that it was already a little bit after three o' clock.

"Hmm…" Mario mused, "I think we better pick up the pace a bit. The Animal Kingdom Park closes earlier than the others because the animals need to rest."

"Sounds like a good idea to me," Luigi complimented, "What should we do next, then?"

"Let's see… Ah, ha! We'll do the Pangani Forest Expedition Trail…"

"Wait a second… Is that another stupid walking thing?" Wario asked.

"Um… Yeah…"

"Bah, count me out, then!" Wario grunted, walking away, "I think I'll go belch at those holler monkeys some more."

"Same here," Waluigi agreed, "Call us when you're done being nerds, okay?"

"Right…" Mario replied, rolling his eyes, "See you guys in a bit…"

As the dysfunctional duo ran off _again_, the rest of the group turned their attention back to the trail and walked in. As it turned out, the trail was just as interesting as the Asia one. Their first stop was a half-underground cave. From in here, one could look though a glass wall and see a pool full of hippos… from above _and_ below the water!

"Hey, guys! Check this out!" Luigi called out, "One of the hippos is swimming right up against the glass!"

The gang walked over to where Luigi was standing and saw a hippo that had its nose pressed against the glass, staring intently at the guests on the other side.

"Hmm… Lovely…" Daisy murmured, "He doesn't think we're fish food, does he?"

"Naw," Mario denied, "he's probably just curious. We probably look as weird to him as he does to us."

"Sounds like the first time we met a yoshi, bro," Luigi recalled, "well… the first time since we were babies, I mean… I think we both just kinda stared at it while it stared back at us for a good five minutes, remember?"

"Ah, yes…" Mario replied, "And, if I recall correctly, it also tried to eat your hat!"

"Hey! It's not _my_ fault if he thought it looked like a watermelon! And besides, didn't he think _your_ hat was an apple?"

"Well, um… Let's not talk about that…"

Turning his attention back to the hippo tank, the green-clad plumber tapped on the glass, to which the hippo responded by slowly turning around and floating away.

"Hey! Wait! Come back!" Luigi pleaded, but the hippo was already gone, "Erm… I guess they're right when they say that animals don't like it when you tap on the glass, heh heh…"

The rest of the group just rolled their eyes and continued onward. Pretty soon, they reached the next section: an 'outdoor' (it was actually very discretely caged-in) aviary where exotic birds were allowed to fly freely through the air.

"Uh… Am I the only one who's got a bad feeling about this?" Luigi asked, reflexively covering his head, "I mean, we're in a room full of all sorts of things that are all flying around above our heads…"

"Nope, I've got it too…" Peach agreed, taking out her parasol and opening it up.

"Aw… Stop being such a worry-wart!" Daisy teased, looking upward, "You won't be able to see the birds as well if you have that thing out!"

"And I won't get covered in bird droppings, either!" Peach countered.

"So what if I get pooped on?" Daisy shrugged, "I can always go back on Kali River Rapids to wash it out…"

"Um… Sorry, Daisy, but I'm gonna have to side with Peach on this one," Mario interrupted, slowly shifting his position so that he was under Peach's umbrella, "I'd rather not waste the time going all the way back to Asia to ride that thing again just to wash off…"

Luigi also tried to get under the umbrella but alas, there was no more room. Nervously, he began to make his way towards the exit of the aviary before anything was 'bestowed upon' him. Looking around (and above), he was glad to discover that most of the birds seemed to be satisfied just to stay on the perches placed around the aviary rather than fly above the guests, making his escape a bit easier.

"Gulp… Yes, that's it…" Luigi muttered to the birds, "Stay where you are. Don't fly… Right… Above…"

Suddenly, a rather colorful looking bird swooped over his head. In a panic, Luigi immediately dived forward and 'belly-slid' about ten feet, right to the exit door. Observing this, Mario ran over to him and helped his brother up.

"Luigi! What are you, crazy!?" Mario joked, brushing all the dirt off the front of Luigi's clothes, "You practically grinded your face into the pavement!"

Luigi simply pointed to where he was moments before, where there was now a rather huge bird dropping on the ground.

"But he didn't get me!" Luigi defended.

Almost as if on cue, another bird flew over the brothers and sent down another 'payload'. This time, however, it landed square on Luigi's shoe. The younger plumber looked down at it distantly and attempted to shake it off with little success.

"Well… At least he only got my foot…"

Quickly glancing upward, he promptly walked out the door before irony could strike twice.

* * *

"So, this is the main attraction, huh? The gorillas?"

"Yep, Daisy," Peach answered, looking through the glass at the primate family on the other side, "this is an entire family of silverback gorillas. There's a mother, a father, and two children gorillas over there."

"Hmm…" Luigi mused, motioning towards a gorilla sleeping lazily against a tree, "I wonder which one's the dad…"

Meanwhile, Mario was standing a short distance off, appearing a little apprehensive towards the huge primates. Luigi was the first to notice this.

"You okay, bro?"

"Huh?... Oh, yeah, I'm fine…" Mario mumbled, "I'm sorry, it's just that whenever I'm near gorillas, I think---"

"They're gonna throw a barrel at you?" Luigi finished.

"Um… Yeah… It's stupid, I know, and I shoulda gotten over that about twenty years ago, but it's kinda hard to shake something like that from your mind. It's a gut reaction for me now."

"Hey, don't worry about Mario! Heh, heh… I mean, what I wouldn't _give_ to only be a little wary of monkeys."

"Thanks… Tell ya what, I'm gonna go out and find those Wario Bros. while you finish up here. I'll meet you back up at the front gate, okay?"

"Sure thing, Mario!" Peach agreed, "See you there!"

Mario made his way back out into the park, where he suddenly faced a huge dilemma: where could the Wario Bros. have gone? He ran back to the howler monkeys exhibit, but they weren't there!

"Uh oh… Now what? They said they were going back here…"

Unable to think of where they could be, he reached into his pocket, pulled out his cell phone, and dialed Wario's cell. Unfortunately, all he got was an answering machine.

"_Yo, loser! Do ya think you were worthy of calling the great WARIO!? Don't make me laugh! Chances are, I'm busy doing something a lot more important than talking to you right now (or maybe I just hate you), but if ya desperate, you can leave a message and a number after that tone thingy goes off and I **might** call ya back… Unless you wear a red cap and go by the name 'Mario' in which case… SCREW YOU!!! WAH HA HA!!!"_

Mario promptly hung up before the tone even sounded. That certainly had gotten him nowhere. With nothing better to think of, he feared he had to resort to running across the whole park to look for them! Thankfully, he didn't have to travel nearly as far as he dreaded. In fact, he only had to walk a few more yards to Kali River Rapids to find the dubious duo. It appeared that Waluigi had returned to extract revenge on the people who drenched him during their ride: he and Wario were now standing on the bridge over the attraction, furiously pounding the button to send a continuous spray of water on the rafters below them.

"See that? Yeah, how do YOU like it when someone gets YOU!?" Waluigi demanded as another raft floated by.

"You got that right!" Wario continued, "No one messes with the Wario Bros. and gets away with it! Wah ha ha!"

"There you are!" Mario called out, approaching the pair, clearly peeved, "You said you were going to be by the howler monkeys again! I thought I had to look all over the park to find you!"

"Um… It was his fault!" Wario protested, pointing a finger at Waluigi, "He wanted to get back at the people who soaked us while we were on that raft ride! I'm just a slightly innocent bystander!"

"_Slightly_ innocent!?" Waluigi objected, "Bullshroom! You were going along with me the entire time and you enjoyed every dang minute of it!"

"Look, you two, I think we're all about finished up with the Animal Kingdom," Mario interjected, "so it's time to stop drenching those raft riders even more and come with us."

"Aw, no fair…" the purple-clad plumber whined, "I wanted to get the kids who drenched me in the first place!"

"Oh yeah, and what would the odds of them commin' back, huh?" Wario grumbled, "One in a million?"

"Well, I still have a chance then! And I'm not leaving until… HEY! LET GO!!!"

Wario grabbed Waluigi by the back of the neck and hauled him away from the sprinkler button.

"Wow…" Mario gasped, "Are you actually _listening_ to me for once!?"

"I'm not doin' this for you, stupid," Wario grunted as he dragged Waluigi along, "I just wanna see this nitwit suffer."

"Oh, gee, thanks a lot!" Waluigi grumbled sarcastically, "I feel so honored!"

"You should be! You're being held by the great Wario! I know people who would pay good money just to be held by me!"

"You call this being held! You got me in a freakin' choke-hold!"

"Ugh…" Mario sighed, "Let's just go…"

* * *

Pretty soon, the entire group of vacationers was back at the front entrance to the Animal Kingdom.

"So, now what?" Luigi asked, "We still have a lot of time left in the day, but there's no more parks to go to! We've done them all!"

"Well, there's more to Disney World than just the parks, Luigi," Peach explained, "right, Mario?"

"Right!" the red-capped plumber agreed, "In fact, I think I've got a great idea on where to go next!"

"Oh really now? Great…" Wario mumbled, "You already bored us outta our minds with that stupid golf game back near the hotel! What brilliant 'beyond the park' plan do you have now?"

"Simple," Mario responded, turning to Wario, "you like video games, right?"

"Huh? Of course! I own a video game _company_, for crying out loud! What kinda stupid question is that!?"

"Just checking, 'cuz I think you'll like our next destination:" Mario replied, showing Wario a brochure he picked up at the hotel, "DisneyQuest."

Author's Note: ARGH!!! (Smashes forhead against the keyboard) The updates... They're killing me!!! Okay, okay... I'm calm... I'm cool, I'm collected... ARGH!!! (Smashes forhead against the keyboard some more) I am SO flippin' sorry that I've taken so long to update. Things have been really crazy at my house, and anything that could be considered "normal" (such as taking down Christmas decorations before February...) has pretty much gone out the window, and that includes updating my fanfictions. Of course, all those sessions of WarioWare: Smooth Moves and Elite Beat Agents might have had something to do with it as well... Anyway, please rest assured that I have absolutely no intention of giving up on this thing. I WILL finish it! I'm done with all the parks, so it has to be all downhill from here, right? (Crickets chirp) Um... Real assuring, guys. At any rate, this is one story I ain't gonna let die! I promise!


	34. Ridin' the Virtual Rails

The sun was beginning to sink towards the west by the time the group reached Downtown Disney: West Side. After a short walk, they reached a very large, rectangular building with a wavy roof. It also had a rather unique paint job; it was blue-green with purple swirls all over it.

"That's DisneyQuest?" Wario grunted, "Doesn't look all that amazing."

"Oh yeah, besides the… ya know… Domineering size, psychedelic paint job, and crazy roof. Nothing amazing at all," Waluigi retorted sarcastically.

Wario was starting to eye a nearby trash can, with the obvious intention of sticking his 'brother' in it. Thankfully, Mario led the group onward before Wario could make any such 'reply'.

"So, what is this place, exactly?" Luigi asked.

"DisneyQuest is, in the bluntest terms, a huge arcade," Mario explained, "however, you pay at the door and all the games inside are free. Also, there are a ton of games that you won't find anywhere else."

"Like what?"

"Oh, you'll see…"

After paying at the front entrance, the gang went inside to a small lobby with a pair of elevators at the far end. Soon enough, one set of doors opened, and everyone went inside. Daisy was the first to notice something odd.

"Hey, guys? Why's there a mirror on that one wall?"

"I don't think that's a mirror, Daisy," Peach replied, "I think it's just a glass wall that we can see our reflection in because of the light."

Almost as if on cue, the elevator doors closed and the entire room went pitch black!

"Uh… This isn't gonna be a repeat of the Tower of Terror, is it?" Luigi stuttered nervously, "At least that one had seats…"

Suddenly, something appeared on the other side of the glass wall: the genie from _Aladdin_! After a little bit of his trademark bantering, he made the elevator 'launch' up to the next floor in dramatic fashion. The elevator doors then opened, letting the group into the main lobby of DisneyQuest.

"Wow…" Daisy gasped, "Look at this place! It's huge!"

The lobby was a huge circular area that had a ceiling leading all the way up to the top floor, allowing guests to catch a glimpse of every level of the building. Around the perimeter of the lobby were the entrances to the four 'Zones' of DisneyQuest: Explore Zone, Score Zone, Create Zone, and Replay Zone.

"So… Um…" Luigi murmured, "Where do we go first?"

"Hey! I know!" Wario, looking at a map on the wall, shouted, "Food's on the fifth floor! Ant it's a freakin' Cheesecake Factory, to boot! We gotta go there!"

"Uh… No," Peach countered, "Mario? What do you say?"

"Huh? Why do you always listen to _Mario_?" Waluigi complained, "It's always 'Mario this' and 'Mario that'… How about giving us a turn, eh?"

"Because every time we to that, we wind up at a food court," Daisy dead-paned.

Mario ignored all the extra comments and focused on the map.

"Okie-dokie, guys, we should head to the Create Zone first!"

"Why?" Wario snorted.

"Two words:" Mario replied, "CyberSpace Mountain."

* * *

"So let me get this straight…" Luigi began, "In this ride, you design your own rollercoaster and then _ride_ it?"

"Yep," Mario answered, motioning to one of the small computer kiosks in front of them, "you design the coaster on this thing, using both normal coaster track as well as all sorts of other crazy things, like black holes and comets, and then ride it in one of the two-person motion simulators over there."

Luigi looked 'over there' to see a long corridor with huge red pods lining either side that were spinning around furiously. Apparently, these were the motion simulators.

"Gulp… Mario, promise me you'll make the coaster calm, okay?"

"Heh, heh… Don't worry about it, bro.! I'll make sure of it!"

A few stations over, Peach and Daisy were trying to make the same negotiation, but with a little less success.

"Aw, come on, Peach…" Daisy protested, "You gotta let me put _one_ loop in!"

"No!" Peach retorted, "You can use anything else available, but _no inversions_!"

"Fine… Party pooper…"

At the final module were Wario and Waluigi. They were creating a very aggressive rollercoaster, but for a more devious reason.

"Okay, here's the plan:" Wario explained, holding up what looked like a card key, "The guy at the entrance of this ride gave us this little doodad so the computer knows what coaster we made when we board the ride, right?"

"Yeah!" Waluigi assured, "We had to swipe it through a scanner before we began designing the coaster here, and we'll have to swipe it again when we get on!"

"Uh… That was a hypothetical question, moron."

"I know, I was just explaining it to them," Waluigi replied, pointing towards the 'Fourth Wall'.

Wario let out an agitated moan before continuing.

"Why do I get stuck with the idiots… Anyway, so what we're gonna do is create the most violent, crazy, pants-wetting, vomit-inducing nightmare on rails we can think up."

"Uh… I threw up on the spinning tea cups… Why on earth would I want to do that?"

"I'm not finished yet, stupid! When we're done with that, we'll inconspicuously swap cards with those Mario Bros.! Then, _they'll_ be the ones riding that monster! That'll teach 'em! Wa ha ha!"

"You're right! That's brilliant! That will show Luigi for making me throw up on the tea cups!"

And so, the dubious duo began crafting the most elaborate coaster imaginable, cramming in as many loops, corkscrews, and various other, more creative inversions (like having the car get sucked into a tornado) as possible. When they were done, they were quite pleased to discover that their coaster got a five out of five on the 'Scare-o-Meter'.

"High five, pal," Wario declared, holding up his hand, "we got ourselves a winner."

* * *

After everyone was done designing their rollercoaster, there was still another line to wait in until they reached the motion simulators. At this point, Wario attempted to make his move and swap his card with Mario's.

"Whoops!" Wario gasped, 'accidentally' bumping into Mario, causing both of their cards to fall to the floor, "Oh my gosh! I _totally_ unintentionally knocked both our cards to the floor, and I just can't figure out which card is yours and which one is mine!"

"Don't worry about it, Wario," Mario replied, some obvious suspicion on his voice, "I kept my eyes on them. Here, this one was yours."

Mario handed Wario back his card. The little plot had failed.

"A-Wha!? I mean… Erm… Thanks, bub," Wario grumbled, taking his card back. He waited a few awkward moments before bumping into Mario again and achieving the same result.

"Oh dear! Once again, I _completely_ by accident bumped into you and knocked our cards to the floor!"

Mario raised an eyebrow. He wasn't fooled. After a moment of thought, he reached down and grabbed Wario's card, noticing the sudden grin on the anti-hero's face.

"Oh yeah, that one was definitely your card!" Wario agreed.

"Right…" Mario mumbled.

Wario took 'his' card and handed it to Waluigi, apparently for safe keeping. Meanwhile, Luigi was watching all of this from a distance.

"Say, Mario? What's going on?" the green-capped plumber whispered.

"Wario's trying to get us to ride their coaster," Mario replied, making sure the duo behind him couldn't hear, "so that can only mean one thing…"

"They made a really nasty one," Luigi completed for his bro., "so what are we gonna do?"

Mario leaned in close and whispered something to Luigi. After a couple seconds of this, Luigi's face brightened up.

"Sure thing, bro.!" Luigi assured, "You can count on me!"

The younger brother then made his way over to Waluigi.

"Hey, Waluigi! Look!" Luigi yelled, pointing over the purple plumber's shoulder, "It's an eggplant wizard!"

"Huh?" Waluigi stammered, turning around to look where Luigi was pointing, "Where?"

While his back was turned, Luigi noticed Mario's card sticking out of his doppelganger's back pocket. Quickly and quietly, he pulled it out and replaced it with Wario's card.

"I don't see anything…" Waluigi mumbled, turning back around.

"Oh well, I guess you musta missed him…" Luigi shrugged as he walked back to Mario. Discreetly, he gave his brother a thumbs up.

"Good goin', Luigi!" Mario congratulated, "Come on, we're next in line. We better get outta here before the Wario Bros. realize we turned the tables back."

The Mario Bros. walked down the hallway until they reached a vacant pod. When they got there, a Cast Member took their card and swiped it through another scanner, loading the ride onto the motion simulator.

"You ready?" Mario asked.

"Yep!" Luigi replied, "Let's-a go!"

The two of them climbed into the motion simulator and pulled down on the seating restraints (the over-the-head kind, in case the coaster was built with loops). Soon after, the screen came down, showing the beginning of the rollercoaster they designed. Suddenly, their 'car' shook and 'lunged' forward, and the ride began! The pod spun and turned in time with the action going on onscreen, making it feel like they were actually riding the rollercoaster! After about two minutes of spinning, dipping, and twirling around, the ride they had built finally came to its conclusion.

"Phew…" Luigi sighed, "That was pretty cool, huh?"

"Yeah," Mario agreed, "of course, there might be a little bias in that… I mean, we 'built' the thing, after all!"

The brothers shared a laugh as the restraints rose, allowing them to exit. As they left the attraction, they noticed the princesses were already waiting for them. Just like after Rock 'n' Roller Coaster, Daisy's hair was all frazzled, but now Peach also had the same treatment. Needless to say, she wasn't all that happy about it.

"_This_ is why I said 'no inversions'…" Peach moaned, frantically trying to fix her hair, "Can you imagine how bad this would look if there were!?"

"Seriously, Peach, you gotta lighten up!" Daisy insisted, "It's just hair!"

"Hi, ladies," Mario greeted, "nice look."

"You can thank Daisy for that one," Peach commented, "sigh… And I thought I had made that ride mild enough…"

"Heh, heh… A little _too_ mild, if you ask me!" Daisy interrupted, "It got like a… What?... Zero out of five on that 'Scare-o-meter' thing?"

"Well, you should've ridden with the Wario Bros.," Luigi suggested, "I heard they made quite the coaster."

Almost as if on cue, the four of them spotted Wario and Waluigi stumble out of CyberSpace Mountain. They were swaying back and forward and were walking so erratically, it looked like they were intoxicated.

"Ugh…" Wario groaned, "I think I'm gonna puke…"

"Same here… Urp!" Waluigi agreed, "If only I could walk in a straight enough line to reach the restrooms…"

Neither one of them made it, though. Rather, they simply collapsed on the ground, out cold, right at the feet of the Mario Bros.

"I'm afraid to ask, but what happened?" Peach asked.

"Oh, nothing much…" Mario replied, "They just learned that we're willing to fight fire with fire."

"Or in this case," Luigi added, walking off, "a horribly violent rollercoaster with mere gullibility."

**Author's Note: You know, I was gonna have this updated on time. I really was. However, my school sent us off on a 'College Tour' where we got to see about ten bajillion different universities (and learn about the horrors of community showers... shutter...). Anyway, this week-long trip threw my writing schedule all outta whack, so here we are. Oh well, I'll TRY to do better next time...**


	35. Bumper Bombs

One would imagine that Bowser would've knocked it off by now. However, the King of the Koopas never quite knew when to call it quits. Case in point: he was currently sneaking around the premises of the gang's next attraction: Buzz Lightyear's Astroblasters, nestled comfortably within the Retro Zone of DisneyQuest.

"So, Pop…" Bowser Jr. began, "What are we gonna do this time? Run 'em over with one of the cars here?"

"Not quite, Son," Bowser explained, opening up a small pouch full of bob-ombs, "you know how this ride works?"

"Looks just like bumper cars to me, dad!" Jr. replied, motioning to the huge collection of vehicles in the enclosed cage, "Although… Are they _shooting_ something at each other?"

Bowser promptly snapped his fingers.

"Exactly! The huge gimmick for this ride is that you can drive over these giant plastic balls and then shoot 'em at the other cars! Of course, all _we_ have to do is replace them with a few bob-ombs and then sit back and watch the fireworks… literally!"

With that, the Koopa King dumped the bag of bombs out into the playing field and then quickly ran off.

"Quick, Son! We gotta hide somewhere and watch!"

The dubious duo found a rather large trash can a short distance off. Although it was an obvious tight fit for the bigger turtle, both father and son were able to squeeze into the can and watch the inevitable carnage from there.

"Heh heh heh… This is a great spot, Pops!" Bowser Jr. cheered, "A little stinky, maybe, but we've got a great view and there's no way any of those blasts could affect us from here!"

"Exactly!" Bowser agreed, "Your father is a genius, like always! Oh look! Here comes those losers now!"

Mario, Luigi, Peach, Daisy, Wario, and Waluigi had just entered the attraction and began to select their vehicles.

"Well, it looks like each car holds two people," Luigi observed, "one driver and one gunner… Double Dash tournament, anyone?"

"Ha! We'll beat you all!" Wario taunted, "We'll be across the finish line before you guys even get off the starting grid!"

"Um… Wario… This isn't a race…" Peach corrected, "It's just bumper cars…"

"Oh… I knew that. Really. So, uh… How's this: Whoever blasts the snot outta the other guys the most is the winner!"

"What's the prize?" Daisy inquired.

"If you guys win, nothing. If we win, you have to be our slaves for a day!"

"Uh huh… Okay, how about 'no'?"

"Huh? Why not? I think that's a great prize…"

The rest of the group decided to leave Wario in suspense and simply walk to their cars. Not surprisingly, the teams were Mario and Luigi, Peach and Daisy, and Wario and Waluigi.

"Okie dokie," Mario sighed, getting a firm grip on the steering wheel, "ready to go, Luigi?"

"Yep!" Luigi replied, giving his brother a thumbs up, "Let's-a go!"

Once the ride started up, Wario and Waluigi immediately began ramming into as many people as possible as they forced their way over a few plastic balls… and some bob-ombs.

"Yeah! Move it, suckers!" Wario shouted, "The WARIO is in the house, and he ain't losing to a bunch of losers!"

"Hey, uh… Wario?" Waluigi interrupted, "I hate to disturb your awesome taunting, but get a look at this."

The purple plumber held up a bob-omb.

"Huh? Where'd you get that?" Wario asked, "And how'd you get it past security?"

"I dunno! It's not mine! I just found it in the little ammo holder thingy! It's like some idiot replaced some of the balls with these things!"

"WHOA!!! WAIT A SECOND HERE!!!" Wario yelled, realization hitting like a two-by-four, "Someone's tryin' to blow us up with that thing! Don't leave it in _here_, you moron! Get rid of it!"

"What!? What should I do!? Shoot it outta the cannon!?" Waluigi suggested, loading the bob-omb into said weapon.

"You can't do that, stupid! You'll blow someone _else_ up! Not that I care if Mario gets blown to Kingdom Come, but it would kinda ruin another vacationer's day. I mean, come on, I'm not _that_ heartless."

"It certainly didn't seem that way when we lost that tennis match…" the purple plumber recalled, "We nearly blew up the whole stadium that time!"

"Yeah, well, I was in a bad mood that day… But I'm degressin'! We got a bob-omb to take care of here!"

Meanwhile, Mario and Luigi were just now discovering the same thing.

"Hey, bro…" Luigi began, "Since when did they use _bob-ombs_ as ammo here?"

"Huh?" Mario asked, nearly dodging an incoming projectile fired by Peach and Daisy, "What do you mean?"

"Look!" Luigi explained, holding up a small, walking bomb, "This thing showed up in the collection bin! What should we do?"

"Hmm…" Mario mused, unusually calm considering the dire situation, "Is the bob-omb active?"

"WHAT!? Uh… No, the fuse isn't lit, if that's what you're asking."

"Phew… If that's the case, it's not gonna blow unless it gets hit violently. You know, like if it was… Launched out of one of these cannons…"

"Uh… I guess I should hold onto this little bugger, then…" Luigi concluded, "You keep driving over them and grab as many as you can!"

Of course, Mario obliged. While the Mario Bros. were collecting the dangerous projectiles, Peach and Daisy came across _their_ first bob-omb.

"Oh my gosh!" Peach squealed, "Daisy, is that what I think it is!?"

"A bob-omb? Uh… Yeah, I think so…" Daisy replied, inspecting what their vehicle had just picked up, "I guess this is more like Double Dash than Luigi first thought."

"But… But… Shouldn't we do something about that!? I mean, it's a _bomb_!"

"It doesn't look like it's gonna go off anytime soon. The fuse isn't even lit!" Daisy explained, "I'll keep this thing with us until the end of the ride, and then we'll see what we can do!"

For the three pairs, the ride couldn't have ended soon enough. Once all the cars slowed down to a complete stop. Everyone piled out of their vehicles. Much to Mario's relief, it appeared that only everyone in his party had wound up with the bombs. None of the other guests on the ride seemed to have any.

"Huh? You got 'em too?" Wario asked, arms full of bob-ombs, "Aw man, I shoulda found you while I was out there! If I shot you with a bob-omb while you had a bunch, the chain-reaction woulda been awesome!"

"Wario, this isn't exactly a humorous situation!" Peach hissed, "We have a bunch of explosions and we're in a very public place!"

Luigi looked around until he spotted a large trash can nearby.

"Hey! I know!" Luigi declared, "Let's just dump them in there!"

"Great idea, Luigi!" Mario cheered, "Come on, let's get rid of these bob-ombs!"

The group ran over to the trash can and dumped the bombs into it as quickly as they could. Obviously, none of them wanted to be holding onto the explosives for any longer.

"Phew, that was a close one!" Mario gasped, "Okay, let's go do something a _little_ less dangerous now, agreed?"

"Agreed," everyone replied.

As the group walked off, Luigi turned to Mario.

"Gee, I wonder who would put all those bob-ombs in there?" the green-clad plumber asked, "Bowser?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Luigi!" Mario retorted, "Bowser's probably still back in the Mushroom Kingdom, moping about how we didn't invite him on this trip!"

"I guess you're right… Hey, are those arcade games over there?"

Luigi ran off, with his brother not far behind. Once the Mario Bros. were gone, there was an immediate commotion heard within the trash can.

"GAH!!! QUICK!!! GET 'EM OUTTA HERE, SON!!!"

"I'M TRYIN' POPS!!! I'M TRYIN'!!!"

The garbage can began hopping around almost comically, an occasional bob-omb popping out of the top and landing nearby. In the middle of this chaos, Bowser Jr. started sniffling uncontrollably.

"Ah… Ah… Ah…"

"ACK!!! SON!!! DON'T!!!"

"Ah… Ah… AHCOO!!!"

A small spout of flame accompanied the sneeze, which promptly lit the fuses of every bob-omb still inside the trash can.

"Aw, shroom…" Bowser groaned, "Not again…"

* * *

"Anyway, I just hope no one gets hurt by those bob-ombs." Luigi concluded from his end of the air hockey table, hitting the puck away when it got near.

"Ha! You worry too much, wimp!" Waluigi retorted, smacking the puck back towards Luigi's side, "Besides, maybe they'll hurt someone you hate. Then, it would be a _good_ thing!"

"Waluigi!" Luigi shouted, returning the puck again, "That's horrible! I'm not gonna wish that someone gets hurt! That's just sadistic!"

Waluigi was about to reply, but he was cut short when he noticed that the puck had gotten past his defenses and got into the goal. Luigi had won the air hockey match.

"WHAT!? Grr… Well, _I_ wouldn't care if someone I loathed got hurt. You're just weird."

Waluigi stormed off, annoyed that Luigi had won and wishing that _he_ would get hurt soon.

"Or maybe you're the weird one," Luigi mumbled, "hey! Wario! Wanna play?"

Meanwhile, Mario and Peach were sharing a rather awkward moment: they were playing _Donkey Kong_.

"Well, this is rather strange…" Mario murmured as he directed 'Jumpman' up the grating, "I guess I'm playing as… Myself."

"Yeah, I guess so…" Peach chuckled, "Say, who's that you're saving in this game, anyway?"

"Uh…" Mario sputtered. This was going to be tough to explain, "… An old friend. Pauline. You know, that girl who was at the grand opening of Super Mini Mario World? We _used_ to have a _bit_ of a relationship, but we're just good friends now. Honest."

Peach couldn't help but laugh at the clear dread on Mario's face, obviously fearing what she was thinking about this 'revelation.'

"Mario, don't worry," she assured, giggling all the while, "I'm not going to be mad at you just because you once had another girlfriend. It's not like everyone is only allowed to have one boyfriend or girlfriend. I mean, you won't believe how many guys dragged me out on dates while I was in high school!"

Mario let out a huge sigh of relief. Disaster nearly averted.

"So… Who are these other guys you're talking about?"

"Oh, just a bunch of rich guys who had some usually obscure relationship to the rulers of another kingdom, like their second-cousin was a former advisor to the king or something. I always got suckered into the old 'merge the royal bloodlines' bit."

This time, it was Mario who was laughing.

"Heh, if you're at all concerned, I have absolutely no royal blood in me. Just an ordinary plumber here."

"Well, I wouldn't exactly call you 'ordinary,' Mario…"

While Mario and Peach continued to talk about relationships, Daisy was expressing her feelings to someone else.

"DIE, ALIEN SCUM! DIE!"

Or, rather, some_thing_.

"Geez, Daisy, you're really getting into this game," Luigi commented.

"Hey, it's _Space Invaders_," Daisy explained, "it's a classic. Say, weren't you playing Air Hockey with Wario?"

"Well, let's just say that I had to stop when Wario found a way to make the puck 'jump' and he started to aim for my _face_, not the goal."

"Right… Where are Wario and Waluigi, anyway? They were here a moment ago…"

"Hmm? Ah! There they… Momma mia."

The 'Wario Bros.' were currently playing skeet ball. However, they certainly weren't playing it _fairly_. Rather, Waluigi was simply using his lengthy limbs to grab the balls and _place_ them in the 100,000 point hole.

"Oh yeah!" Wario cheered, "Keep this up Waluigi, and we'll have enough tickets to buy that mini-stereo in no time!"

Luigi wanted to say something, but he was simply left speechless. Daisy quickly noticed this.

"Can't come up with anything you haven't already said about those two clowns?" Daisy asked.

"Yeah…" Luigi replied.

"Me neither," she sighed with a shrug, "me neither."

* * *

**Author's Note: GAH!!! FINALLY!!! I'm not sure how many of you noticed, but Fanfiction was acting screwy for the past week and I haven't been able to upload anything! So, yeah, I missed my deadline, but it ain't my fault! Moving on... I hope I did a good job explaining what happened to the Mario/Pauline relationship. They're obviously still good friends (see _Mario vs. Donkey Kong 2_), but there's really no romantic connection between them whatsoever anymore. Besides, Peach just seems more his type, you know?**


	36. Score and Explore

"'Ride the Comix'?" Mario read off the sign above the next attraction with slight confusion in his voice, "I never quite understood why purposely misspelling something somehow makes it cooler."

"I don't know either, bro.," Luigi agreed, "then again, I probably shouldn't talk; I still think Pet Rocks are kinda cool…"

"Well, gee, guys, here's a brilliant idea:" Wario sneered, "Why don't we just go ON the ride and see what's oh-so-dang-cool about it!?"

"Oh gosh, did Wario actually come up with a good idea for once?" Daisy asked sarcastically, "It's a miracle!"

"Grr… Can it, lady! I always come up with good ideas!"

"Like what?"

"Well… Um… How about you take a long walk off a short pier? That's a good idea!"

Daisy just rolled her eyes and decided to ignore further conversation with Wario. Instead, she and the rest of the group got into the line for the ride, which was located within DisneyQuest's Score Zone. It didn't take them long to see what the ride was really like.

"Hey! Look at that!" Waluigi shouted pointing to a group of people on the ride, "It's a Wii on steroids!"

Actually, Waluigi's 'description' wasn't that far from the truth. The current riders were all standing in a 'spaceship' and were wearing virtual reality helmets! Furthermore, they were all holding flashlight-like objects and swinging them around like swords!

"Heh, heh… Whoa boy…" Wario snickered, "Somebody's gonna sue…"

"I dunno…" Luigi mumbled, "I'm not sure VR helmets are a technology that can be copyrighted…"

"I'm talking about the thing they're holding, stupid, not the thing they're wearing."

"Well… Uh… You didn't elaborate?" Luigi suggested meekly.

As the group continued down the line, a Cast Member handed each of them a rather odd object. It looked like a beanie hat with a knob on the back.

"Hey! Look!" Wario called out, putting the hat on the back of his head, "I'm a Jew!"

"Right…" Peach murmured, not amused, "So, besides giving Wario ammunition for politically incorrect jokes, what is this thing for?"

"Hmm…" Mario pondered, "Oh, I get it! See those VR helmets? They're hanging from the ceiling, to keep people from running off with them, I guess. You put these little hat things on your noggin so that the helmets have something to attach to when you pull it over your head! That way, they don't come flying off during the ride!"

"Eh, I'll just stick with making jokes that give PC weenies a heart attack, thanks," Wario commented.

"Whatever you say, fatty," Daisy replied.

"HEY! I'M NOT FAT!" Wario protested, "I'M HORIZONTALLY CHALLENGED, GOT THAT!?"

It took Wario five seconds before he realized the double-standard he just pulled off.

"I mean… Uh… Well, you can't make fun of _me_ 'cuz I'm Wario! Everyone else is fair game."

Eventually, it was the group's turn to 'ride the comix'. After getting oriented on the playing platform, they pulled the VR helmets down over their heads. Just like Mario had predicted, the helmets clicked into place over the funny-looking hats they were given before.

"Hey! This is cool!" Luigi called out, "You're looking at everything like it's real! The camera even moves when you move your head!"

Luigi turned to face his brother who, in the game's world, looked like a stereotype, muscle-bound superhero.

"Nice spandex, bro," Luigi snickered.

"Same for you," Mario shot back, "chalk that up as one thing I _don't_ want to see outside of virtual reality!"

Suddenly, the 'true' hero of the ride jumped down onto the spaceship that everyone was riding and gave a brief summery of what was going on. Apparently, the villains of the comic book were tired of losing to him and wanted to challenge the comic's _readers_ instead. The best way to fight the super villains was to use 'laser swords', which were the flashlight-like objects in real life.

"Okay, I get it already, pretty boy!" Wario whined, "There's a bunch of bad guys who need to get their butts whooped, Jedi style! Sheesh, I don't need Spandex-Man ordering me around!"

"Just make sure to wear the wrist strap," Waluigi reminded, "We're still paying off that TV you managed to put a Wii-mote through, Wario…"

"HEY!" Wario promptly interrupted, "We're in a superhero world now! Therefore, I demand that you call me by my superhero name… _**The Purple Wind**_!!! Silent, but deadly!"

"You got that right…" Daisy mumbled.

"Since when did you have a superhero name!?" Waluigi demanded, "Fine! Then I'll be… Uh… Eggplant Man! Defender of all that is… Egg and… Plant… y…"

"I'm pretty sure that one's been taken already," Peach intervened, "anyway, I think the ride is starting!"

Sure enough, she was right. The spaceship took off and flew into a giant comic book! Instantaneously, they were inside a sewer (the lair of the villain they were after), and they began getting attacked by sewer rats!

"What!? Rats!? Sheesh… Give me a break!" Wario groaned, swinging his sword around, "Take this! And that! Give me a _real_ challenge already!"

"I think you're getting your wish…" Mario replied, "Werewolf at twelve o'clock!"

"At _twelve_? What am I supposed to do until then!?"

Wario got cut short when the said werewolf suddenly leaped in front of him and began slashing at him!

"WAAA!!! Get offa me, you Twilight Princess reject!" Wario screamed until the monster was defeated, "Yeah! Go back to the Transylvania where you belong, you freak!"

The next wave of enemies was a huge swarm of flying robots that began flying in and shooting at everyone.

"Yikes! Look at 'em all!" Luigi hollered, "Gah! I got one! Two! Eek! Three!... Man, they're hard! How you doing, Mario?"

"Twenty-five! Twenty-six! Ha! Piece of cake!... Uh… You say something, Luigi?"

"Sigh… Never mind…"

Finally, the group reached the villain they were after: a large, fat, bodacious man by the name of 'The Toymaker.'

"Oh gosh…" Daisy gasped, "It's Wario's long-lost twin."

"I heard that!" Wario snapped back, "And I believe you mean it's the _Purple Wind's_ long-lost twin, am I correct?"

"Whatever, this freak-a-zoid's goin' down!" Waluigi shouted, "He's too ugly to let live! Eggplant Man shall put him outta his misery!"

"Yeah!... Wait a sec… If he's my long-lost twin and you're saying he's ugly, then…"

He got cut short (again) when an army of wooden soldiers began shooting their miniature rifles at them. Apparently, they had to fight the Toymaker and his henchmen at the same time!

"Oh great, those clockwork soldier ghosts have come back to haunt me again…" Luigi moaned, "And me without my Poltergust 3000…"

"Good thing, too," Mario retorted, "I'm still recovering from the attempted liposuction you did on my face the last time you used it!"

"Trust me, that wouldn't have helped in the least bit, loser!" Wario interjected.

The following battle was intense… or, at least, as intense as virtual reality could make it. After fighting through swarms of foot soldiers, the group finally put the smack-down on the Toymaker who, like all good villains, resorted to fleeing before the final blow was delivered. However, their main mission was still accomplished, so they teleported back out of the comic book, where the hero was waiting with their final scores.

"Woo-hoo!" Mario cheered, "That was great! I got a really high score! How'd you do, bro?"

"Uh…" Luigi trailed off, "Let's just say the _absolute value_ of my score is impressive…"

"Same here…" Waluigi added, "At least, I think… What does absolute value mean again? I dozed off in math class in high school."

"Oh yeah!" Wario celebrated, "Killin' that Wolf Link wannabe got me major bonus points! I dare anyone to top _that_!"

"I did," Daisy countered with a playful smirk, "I killed _two_ wolfmen."

"SAY WHAT!? You stinkin' little cheater! Don't make me use this laser sword on you!"

Once Wario's bickering died down, everyone looked to see who truly got the highest score. The results shocked them.

"PEACH!?" Mario, Luigi, Wario, Waluigi, and Daisy all shouted in unison.

"Well, what can I say?" Peach replied with a giggle, "Swinging a laser sword is just like swinging a parasol, only without the gliding ability, of course."

There was an awkward silence before Mario spoke up again.

"Next time Bowser invades your castle, just grab a sword and you're on your own."

* * *

"So, I was thinking…" 

"That's a dangerous thing, Wario."

"Har, har, Mario, that was so funny I forgot to laugh… Anyway, as I was saying, I was thinking that me and that Jack Sparrow guy all the girls fawn over aren't all that different. I mean, I'm witty, dashingly handsome in a _very_ unique way, and I love stealing cash from people! So why does Mr. Dread Head get all the love and I don't?"

"Wario, the only thing you have in common with Jack Sparrow is that we'd be more than willing to chain you to a ship mast and let a giant squid eat you."

"Hey, Daisy, did I ask you? No!"

Wario folded his arms and leaned against a wall to sulk while the group waited in line for their final attraction at DisneyQuest: Pirates of the Caribbean: Battle for Buccaneer Gold, the highlight attraction for the Explore Zone.

"For the record, _I_ think I'm as good as that weirdo," Wario declared to no one in particular, "I could practically replace that loser in the movies!"

"Wario as Jack Sparrow…" Luigi mumbled, "That sounds like some horrible parody fanfiction."

The green-clad plumber thought for a moment and then turned towards the 'fourth wall.'

"Seriously, don't try it. Close out of that Microsoft Word document _now_."

"Luigi?" Mario asked, "Who are you talking to?"

"Erm… No one."

Soon enough, the group was called over to board the ride. However, a small problem arose. The ride 'vehicles' were small rooms that looked like the deck of a pirate ship that had one steering wheel and four cannons, making the maximum number of people per 'crew' five.

"So… Who wants to sit out?" Peach asked.

All eyes turned to Wario.

"What?" Wario whined, "What's everyone lookin' at me for?"

Rather than reply, the rest of the gang walked into one of the rooms and shut the door.

"HEY!" Wario shouted, banging on the door, "LET ME IN!!! MAKE WALUIGI SIT OUT! NO ONE LIKES HIM!"

Waluigi promptly stuck his head out and glared at Wario.

"I think 'Captain Wario Sparrow' or whatever you want to call yourself now needs to find his own ship," Waluigi suggested before sticking his tongue out and slamming the door again.

"Well, fine then! I will!" Wario shouted back, "… Savvy?"

* * *

"Okay, so how does this work?" Daisy asked as she looked around. 

"Well, we need a captain and four gunners," Mario explained, "the captain steers the ship and the gunners shoot down enemy pirate ships to steal their cash."

"Oh! Can I be captain?" Waluigi volunteered.

"Uh… I don't think you're a good driver, are you?" Luigi recalled.

"What are you talkin' about!?"

"Didn't you drive smack dab into a waterfall during the Double-Dash tournament? It took a week to get all the rust out of the undercarriage, if I recall correctly."

"I thought it was a shortcut! There's _always_ something behind the waterfall!... Except that one, of course."

"I'll be captain," Mario intervened, "you guys can all be the gunners."

Once everyone was in position, the ride began. The giant screen around the room showed a vast ocean full of islands and ships… all shooting at _their_ ship! Luigi, Peach, Daisy, and Waluigi began firing away at all the enemy ships, eventually sinking them and claiming the gold as their own, while Mario steered the ship around, looking for more opponents to face. This kept up for a while until…

"YIKES!!!" Luigi screamed, "GHOST SHIP DEAD AHEAD!!!"

Luigi was 100-percent correct. Out of nowhere, a giant phantom ship appeared with ghosts that flew down, not only to damage their ship, but to steal their treasure!

"Oh boy, good thing Wario isn't here to see this," Peach commented, "he'd flip!"

"I'm not sure Waluigi's much better, though," Daisy countered, motioning to the purple-clad plumber.

"Hey! Get yer stinkin' undead hands off my virtual treasure!" Waluigi shouted, "It took me five minutes of endless toil to get it!"

The battle was brief, but intense. The boat was on the verge of sinking when Luigi let out the final shot that capsized the phantom boat, reclaiming all the treasure they had stolen!

"Oh yeah!" Luigi cheered, "Even without my Poltergust 3000, I can still kick ghost 'booty'! Get it? Booty, like in both 'butt' and 'treasure'?"

"We get it, and it is lame," Waluigi dead-paned.

With the ghost ship defeated, their final treasure count was ranked. In the end, the group managed to collect enough treasure to claim the title of 'King of the Caribbean'!"

"Yahoo! We did it!" Mario celebrated, "Great job, everyone!"

Satisfied, the gang got off their 'boat' and made their way to the exit. On the way, they ran into a very exasperated Wario.

"Wario? Are you okay?" Peach asked, "You look pretty worn out."

Wario just glared at his rival.

"Do you have any idea how hard it is to pilot a ship and operate four cannons at the same freakin' time!?" Wario spat, "Riding sea turtles off a deserted island is easier than that!"

"Uh… Is he gonna keep using awkward Jack Sparrow references for the rest of the trip?" Mario asked nervously.

"Heh, probably…" Waluigi replied, "Why?"

"'Cuz if he keeps this up, he's gonna start calling me Mario Turner. I just know it."

**Author's Note: Head, meet desk. Desk, head. Now, exchange pleasantries... WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! Okay, now that I've got a lump the size of Tall, Tall Mountain on my noggin, I'd like to apologize for the delay. Schoolwork's been a monster lately (apparently, all the teachers want to get their last sick kicks in before the end of the year), but it will soon be summer, and I can update all I want! Even better, I'm going back to Disney World this year! Yay!**

**Yes, I know, it seems like I go _every_ year... My mom's a Disney freak, and she'll do _everything_ in her power to make sure we have enough cash to go every year. Supposedly, according to her, I really don't need that second kidney...**

**Oh, and if you _really _want to ignore Luigi's warning and go write _Pirates of the Mushroom Kingdom: Curse of the Black Ztar_ or something, you can go right ahead... Just give me credit for the idea, okay?**


	37. A Hair Raising Experience

"Zzz…"

"Luigi, wake up, we have to get going."

"Zzz… We did all the parks already… Zzz…"

"Yeah, but we're doing the water parks today."

"Zzz… I'll wait until it's hot out… Zzz…"

"I'll bust out that air horn again."

"YIKES!!! I'M UP!!! I'M UP!!!"

Luigi practically leaped out of bed, plowing Mario over in the process, to avoid having that infamous air horn blown in his ear again. By the time Mario managed to get back to his feet, Luigi was already in his swimsuit.

"Wow…" Mario murmured, "I think we've got ourselves an incentive to get you to wake up…"

"As soon as I find where you're hiding that infernal thing, I'm throwing it away," Luigi reminded, "until then, I'll take getting up early over losing my hearing any day."

With Luigi already dressed for the day, Mario walked into the bathroom to change into his swimsuit.

"So, which water park are we going to?" Luigi shouted through the closed bathroom door, "Typhoon Lagoon or Blizzard Beach?"

"From what I've heard, both!" Mario replied, "Peach really wants to make sure we hit everything Disney has to offer, huh?"

"No kidding… You done yet?"

Mario promptly came out of the bathroom wearing a pair of red swim trunks.

"Yep! Let's-a go!"

* * *

"Hey, Wario! Waluigi! Hurry up already!" Daisy yelled into the men's locker room.

"Do you losers mind!?" Wario retorted, "We're _changing_ in here!"

"Why didn't you just do that back at the hotel? It would've been more efficient and you wouldn't have to rent out a locker!"

Waluigi stuck his head out glared at Daisy.

"Honestly? We just like annoying you idiots," the lanky plumber explained, "actually, you're kinda cute when you're angry. You should keep that look."

The flower princess was about two seconds away from strangling Waluigi before he ducked back into the relative safety of the locker room. Annoyed and defeated, she turned back to the Mario Bros. and Peach, who were waiting there with her.

"So they did this just to annoy us?" Luigi grumbled, "Why am I not surprised?"

"I can't believe this either," Mario sighed, "we're here at Typhoon Lagoon and the Wario Bros. are holding us up because they _had_ to change here rather than back at the hotel!"

"Actually, I think they're coming out now!" Peach exclaimed, "There they… Oh, dear."

The Wario Bros. did come out, all right, but everyone found themselves wishing that they had stayed in the locker room. Wario was wearing a white-and-blue stripped muscle shirt, a yellow swim cap, goggles placed firmly over his eyeballs, and an inflatable ducky inner-tube that may or may not have actually been part of his swim trunks. Despite how awkward Wario looked, though, Waluigi was even worse. All he was wearing was a pair of very tight, very small, purple Speedos.

"Oh gosh, my eyes," Daisy moaned, covering her face with her hands.

"Say what you want, hun, but you shoulda seen the looks we got in the locker room!" Wario bragged, "All the guys knew that they didn't stand a chance at getting any chicks with _us_ around!"

"Because they'll run out of the park screaming the minute they lay eyes on you?"

"Waluigi…" Luigi sputtered, eyes affixed and mouth agape at the purple plumber's pants, "Momma mia, how well indow---"

"Nuh, uh, uh!" Waluigi interrupted, "I don't need to hear it! I already know, thank you!"

There was a long pause before he leaned towards the 'fourth wall' and whispered, "And we wanna keep this fic K rated if at all possible."

"Waluigi?" Mario asked, "Who are you talking to?"

"Erm… No one."

"Join the club…" Luigi murmured.

"Okay, I know you're all still so unbelievably impressed with our swimming gear, but you can stop now," Wario requested, "we are humble, even in victory. Now, where are we goin' first?"

"Over there," Peach answered, pointing to the right, "they have a very unique waterslide called the Crush 'n' Gusher that we should check out."

"Sounds good to me," Mario concurred as the group made their way over to the slides, "what's so unique about it?"

His question was answered as soon as they reached the attraction. The slides were themed like an abandoned tropical fruit processing factory, with the 'slides' being what the fruit had previously been sent down to be cleaned. Theming aside, the biggest thing that stood out was the fact that the slides not only went _down_, they also shot back _upward_!

"They call it the world's first 'Water Coaster'," Peach proclaimed, "so, who's ready to go?"

The six vacationers quickly ran up and got in line for the slides. There were three different slides and the tubes used for the slides allowed for two at a time. Naturally enough, Mario and Luigi went on one slide, Peach and Daisy went on the next slide, and Wario and Waluigi got in the last one. After a few minutes of waiting, all three pairs were sitting in their tubes, waiting for the lifeguard to give them a push into the slide.

"Race you to the bottom?" Mario suggested.

"Sure thing!" Peach agreed.

"Wah ha ha! We'll beat all four of you losers!" Wario taunted, "So long, suckers!"

The lifeguard gave all three tubes the push they needed as fast as he could, and the trio of duos rushed down the slides. For Luigi, he had spent a lot of time at water parks, and was thus quite used to going on water slides. However, nothing could prepare him for the feeling of going _up_ a slide! Unfortunately, he had placed his rump a little too far into the tube, and he felt his rear end getting rubbed against the slide! Regardless, he ignored the rather uncomfortable feeling as the tube dipped, rose, and turned through the complex slide until it finally came splashing down into the pool at the bottom. Incredibly, all the riders reached the end at practically the same time!

"A-Wha!?..." Wario gasped, "We all _tied_!? What the heck!?"

"Well, that seems fair," Peach commented, "that way, no one's a loser."

"No! It means we're _all_ losers!" Waluigi whined, "I demand a rematch!"

"Sure thing, pal!" Daisy accepted, "And this time, we'll win!"

"Yahoo! That was fun!" Mario cheered, ignoring the argument going on next to him, "What'd you think, Luigi?"

"Not bad, but I think I just wore the bottom off my pants," the green plumber remarked, rubbing his sore tush, "I always forget to not stick my bottom so far into the tubes on water slides… Hey, where'd Daisy and Waluigi go?"

The remaining four got out of the wading pool and looked around for a few minutes, but to no avail. Suddenly, the two missing persons came splashing down the slides again and, once again, they tied!

"WHAT!? TIED AGAIN!?" Waluigi screamed, "That's it! This thing's rigged!"

"Whatever…" Daisy sighed, "I think it's time to move on, eh?"

"Yep!" Mario agreed, "There are a lot more water slides here, not to mention a lazy river! Come on!"

The group began to set off, but Daisy quickly stopped Peach before she got too far.

"Hmm? What is it, Daisy?" Peach asked.

"Come on, I wanna show you something," Daisy replied.

"Oh, okay…"

Daisy led Peach over to a small nearby stand. It consisted of a small cart and two chairs underneath an umbrella. On the fringes of the umbrella were the words 'Hair Wraps/Hair Braiding.' Daisy playfully shoved the other princess into one of the chairs while she herself sat in the other one.

"Oh, hair wraps," Peach began, "I got one of those while we were at Isle Delfino. I thought it looked pretty cute."

Daisy, however, wasn't really listening. As two Cast Members walked over to see what the princesses wanted done, the brunette let out a devilish little grin.

"Two full head hair braidings, please."

"WHAT!?" Peach shrieked, reflexively covering her head, "I don't want my hair braided, especially all of it!"

"Aw, come on Peach!" Daisy teased, "It'll look so much cooler braided, and you won't have to deal with it in the morning. Athletes do it all the time."

"But… But… It's not feminine at all! I'm no tomboy!"

"Remember the little deal we made yesterday?" Daisy recalled, grinning all the while, "That you'd do something tomboyish with me if I did something girly with you?"

Peach tried to come up with a comeback, but she couldn't; Daisy was right.

"But… I… Sigh… You _so_ owe me for this," the pink princess hissed.

"Yeah, but it'll _definitely_ be worth it. I've always wanted to see you with braids."

With the dispute settled, Daisy sat confidently while Peach slouched solemnly as the two Cast Members began their work on their hair.

* * *

"Gee, I wonder where Peach and Daisy have been all this time?" Mario asked hypothetically, "they missed out on a bunch of the water slides."

"And the lazy river!" Luigi added.

"Ha! I bet Daisy's scared I'll demand another rematch and beat her!" Waluigi concluded, "She acts all tough, but she's still scared of me! Ha! What a loser!"

"Or maybe she just didn't want to look at those Speedos," Wario suggested.

"I'd go with that theory, thanks," Luigi agreed, still staring awkwardly at Waluigi's choice of swimwear.

"Hey, these things are cool like you don't even know!" the scantily-clad plumber defended, "Nothing says you're a man's man quite like purple spandex!"

"Okay, this conversation is getting really weird…" Mario intervened, "At any rate, let's go to the wave pool. I hear the waves they make here are seven feet tall!"

The four plumbers made their way to the wave pool. The pool had a 'beach' at the end, covered with lounge chairs and umbrellas for people to place their stuff while they went into the water. While searching for a few chairs to claim for their own, the Mario and Wario Bros. eventually wound up finding the princesses, complete with their new hairstyles, already relaxing in two of them.

"Hey, nice look," Mario joked to Peach, "let me guess: Daisy talked you into it."

"'Forced' is more like it," Peach grumbled.

Peach's hair, like Daisy had requested, was completely braided. Now, instead of her hair cascading down around her head, she had dozens of tightly woven locks that dropped right down behind her back.

"Actually, you look pretty good with that, honest," Mario complimented, "certainly looks tropical."

"Really?" Peach asked, blushing, "Why, thank you… Still, I'm getting these things out as soon as Daisy lets me."

Daisy turned to glare at her princess friend. Her hair was also braided, but unlike Peach's, whose hair as it went down behind her, Daisy's hair was braided right along her head, creating little 'rows' of braided hair on her head that went across her scalp and stopped right below her neck.

"I still think you chickened out by not having them braid it along your head," Daisy commented, "you would've _really_ looked awesome with that."

"Yes, but at least I don't have to put suntan lotion on my head," she retorted.

"A small sacrifice," the other princess shrugged.

"I say you _both_ look like a bunch of morons…" Wario grunted, "Can we go in the wave pool now? It sure as heck beats what you freaks are doing here."

"Fine, fine…" Mario replied, "Let's-a go!"

All six of them ran into the water and began to swim around. After a few minutes, there was a loud fog horn, and a _huge_ wave suddenly came rushing towards them!

"Gulp… Big… Wave…" Luigi gasped.

Wario had no trouble, though. Having been wearing a giant inflatable tube with a duck's head on it the entire time, he simply bobbed up and down as the wave passed underneath him. Luigi, however, promptly got caught up in the wave, tossed backwards, and landed right back on the beach!

"Ow… Okay, the fun in that ran out pretty fast," the green-clad plumber grumbled as he rubbed his sore bottom… again.

"Aw… What's the matter, Luigi? All washed up?" Wario teased, "Wha ha! What a loser!"

"You were just standing too close to the shore!" Mario shouted to his brother, ignoring Wario's taunts, "Come out deeper, and the wave won't throw you for such a loop!"

"Sigh… Okay, Mario! I'll try that!"

Luigi swam out, much deeper this time, until he was almost near the max distance the swimmers were allowed to go (to avoid getting too close to the wave machine). This time, the wave, rather than throwing him all over the place, simply lifted him up, allowing him to 'body surf' a short distance before gently placing him down and then crashing into the shore.

"Oh hey! That worked! You were right, Mario!"

"I always am, bro!" Mario replied.

Wario heard this and snickered a little bit.

"Mario? _Right_? Pphh… Give me a break… WHOA!!!"

Without warning, the next wave came in, catching Wario completely off guard. Because of this, he flipped over, came riding into shore upside-down with the ducky tube keeping him buoyant, albeit feet-up, and promptly crashed into the beach with his head stuck in the sand!

"MMMPPPHHH!!!" Wario hollered, although completely incoherent due to being under the sand.

"Wha ha ha!" Waluigi laughed, "I _told_ you not to wear that stupid outfit, but did you listen to me? Nooo… Trust me, when it comes to swimsuits, less is more!"

"No… No it isn't…" Luigi countered.

Meanwhile, Peach, having already had enough of the wave pool, made her way back to the lounge chairs and began to dry off.

"Hmm…" Peach mused as she rubbed the towel through her braided hair, "It's much easier to dry my hair off with it like this. Maybe this braided hair isn't so bad after all…"

"Really?"

Peach whirled around and saw her fellow princess standing right behind her with a grin as big as Tall, Tall Mountain.

"I mean… Uh… Um…" Peach sputtered.

"So, you admitted that you like your braided hair, hmm?"

"What!? No! I just said it wasn't as bad as I thought…"

Despite her correction, it didn't wipe the smile off Daisy's face.

"Don't forget you have to keep your side of the bargain, girl," Peach reminded, "and I'll be sure to find the most girly thing imaginable for you to do."

"Somehow, I'm not scared," Daisy replied, "anyway, I'm gonna go back in the water now. See ya!"

With that, Daisy ran off, leaving Peach by herself. With her friend gone, Peach casually began playing with one of the braids.

"Sigh… Daisy, how a tomboy like you ever got to be a princess is beyond me, and yet…"

She looked at her friend, who was currently playfully splashing Luigi with water.

"I won't have it any other way."


	38. Putting Fear on Ice

"Typhoon Lagoon… Blizzard Beach… Disney really likes to use alliteration and rhyming when naming things, don't they?"

Mario turned to his brother, who was looking at the welcome sign to Disney's second water park: Blizzard Beach.

"Yeah, I guess they do."

"But why? I mean, they do it all the time… Buzz Lightyear's _Sp_ace Ranger _Sp_in, _L_iving with the _L_and,_ Ca_tastrophe _Ca_nyon, Conserv_ation_ St_ation_…"

"It's a mystery, I suppose…"

"If you want my opinion," Daisy added, "the only mystery _I_ want solved is why we're here already! I hardly got to do any of the slides at Typhoon Lagoon! Or the Shark Reef!"

"Daisy, we didn't do any of that because you insisted on us getting our hair braided!" Peach answered, the beads in her hair clinking as she turned her head.

"Oh, right…" Daisy remembered, running her fingers over her braided head, "Okay, it was worth it, then."

"Well, I don't know about you losers, but I wanna get in there!" Wario grunted, "Let's go already!"

"Say, Wario…" Mario began, pointing at his doppelganger's attire, "You're still wearing your swimsuit…"

"Yeah? So?"

"You didn't change back into your normal clothes when you left Typhoon Lagoon?"

"Naw, I just left them… In the… Locker…"

Wario trailed off as he realized his (and Waluigi's) clothes were still at Typhoon Lagoon.

"Um… Tell ya what, guys, me and Waluigi have to… Uh… Go somewhere… Yeah… Don't do something cool without us, 'k?"

"What? Why do _I _have to go with you?" Waluigi protested, "You left the stuff there, you go get it!"

"You didn't remind me to get it! It's your fault!"

"_My_ fault!? You never _told_ me to help you remember it!"

"That's because you never reminded me to tell you to remember it!"

"That's because you never told me to remind you to tell me to remind you to… Oh screw it! I'm not going! That's final!"

"Fine, Mr. Speedo! Maybe I'll just 'forget' to grab your stuff while I'm there!"

"GUYS!" Mario shouted, trying to break up the fight, "How about we just go back and get it _after_ we're done here?"

Silence.

"Did Mario actually have a good idea?" Waluigi sputtered.

"Well, if Mario made it, I'm not listening to it!" Wario declared, "Waluigi, go get the stuff."

Daisy, as sick of the argument as Mario was, grabbed the two anti-heroes by their moustaches and dragged them into the park.

"Gah! Hey! Let go!" Wario demanded, "This is embarrassing! I'm getting owned by a girl with dreadlocks!"

"Their _braids_," Daisy corrected, "do you know what you have to do to your hair to get dreadlocks? Even _I'm_ not that wild."

"Well, that's good to know," Peach replied, letting out a huge (and sincere) sigh of relief.

"So, uh, bro," Luigi began, trying to ignore relative chaos going on around him, "what are we gonna do here first?"

"Something that we can all do together," Mario replied, "the world's longest family raft ride: Teamboat Springs."

* * *

The theming of Blizzard Beach was unusual, to say the least. The entire area looked like a giant ski resort, from alpine huts to skis and snowboards being left lying around. Of course, there was a major component missing: _Snow_. While there _was_ the occasional snow bank or icicle laden rooftop, it all appeared like it was in the process of melting under the hot Florida sun. Even the background music seemed to add to the bi-polar nature of the park: It alternated between Beach Boys songs and Christmas Carols. 

At the moment, the Mario and the gang were being carried up via a ski lift to the top of the (semi) snow-covered Mt. Gushmore, which dominated the center of the park. As they were being taken to the top of the mountain, Luigi looked down to get a good view of the park from above.

"Gee, Mario, this place is pretty weird when you think about it…" Luigi pondered, "I mean, why does this place look like a ski resort? This is _Florida_!"

"Disney has a story behind all their attractions," Mario explained, "the story behind this water park is that a freak snowstorm once swept through Florida, covering everything in a blanket of the fluffy white stuff."

"Are you sure it wasn't just Wario blow-drying his hair again?" Waluigi shouted from the ski chair behind them.

"Don't make me shove you outta this chair, pal," Wario grumbled.

"Right…" Mario mumbled, none to pleased about being interrupted, "Anyway, so Disney decided to build the first ski resort in Florida as a result. Of course, there was just one problem: When the storm ended, the typical Florida heat came back and began melting it all away."

"What a bunch of idiots…" Wario grunted, "Then again, this _is_ the company that decided to kill that ride where you got to visit Hell and replaced it with Winnie the freakin' Pooh."

"You mean Mr. Toad's Wild Ride?" Peach asked, listening in on the conversation from her chair.

"Yeah, that one… _And_ they replaced that awesome child-scaring Alien ride with _Stitch_, so doing something as stupid as Mario is saying wouldn't be outta their league."

"However…" Mario continued, trying his hardest ignore the commentary, "Since all the melting, gushing snow was flowing down the mountain like slides and collecting into pools at the bottom, they decided to change the place from a ski resort to a water park!"

"I see…" Luigi mused, "… Making a water park that looks like a ski resort and coming up with an almost plausible explanation for it… Man, where does Disney come up with this stuff?"

At this point, the ski chairs had reached the peek of the mountain, allowing the group to get off and head over to Teamboat Springs' entrance. Along the way, however, Luigi spotted the entrance to another slide, one that had a rather long line.

"Hmm? What's that one?" Luigi asked.

"Summit Plummet," Mario answered, "that's the major slide here. It's basically just a near-vertical drop from the top of a ski jump to the base of the mountain."

"Ahh…" Luigi gasped, "Right… Ignoring that one now…"

However, he noticed that Daisy was looking rather longingly at the slide.

"Oh yeah…" she muttered under her breath, "I am _so_ going on that."

"Come on guys!" Peach called out, "The line's still short for Teamboat Springs! Let's go!"

"Right! Coming!" Luigi called out, gladly getting away from Summit Plummet as quickly as possible.

As the group approached the slide, they were given a huge, circular raft that could easily seat all of them comfortably. When it was their turn, all six vacationers put the raft in the water and climbed in.

"Hey, lard-butt," Waluigi grunted to his brother, "move over. You're in my space."

"No I'm not," Wario retorted, "_you_ move over."

"No! You move---"

One quick glare from Daisy got them both to be quiet.

"Okay, are we all in?" Mario asked, "Then let's-a go!"

The raft moved forward and began to go down the slide. The fact that it was the world's longest family raft ride became really apparent as the raft spent the next two minutes sliding down what appeared to have been a bobsled course for the ski resort, twisting and turning during the mad descent. Of course, as is common in raft rides, whenever they hit a banked turn, a huge wave of water crashed over the raft, soaking all onboard. The fact that Wario was so heavy made the waves even larger than normal, delivering an even bigger payload on Mario and crew.

"Way to go, Wario…" Waluigi spat, literally, considering water came shooting out of his mouth as he spoke, "If I wanted to get this wet, I would've just dived into the pool!"

"Hey, you're not the only one, so shut up," Wario snapped back.

Eventually, the raft reached the bottom of the course, allowing everyone to climb out and get back on 'dry' land.

"Well, that was fun!" Peach chirped.

"And wet…" Waluigi added, ringing out his moustache.

"So, what do you guys want to do next?" Mario asked.

"I know what _I'm_ doing!" Daisy announced, "Summit Plummet, here I come!"

Daisy ran off, not even waiting for anyone else, to get in line for the infamous slide.

"She must be crazy," Peach concluded, "I'm not going on that, that's for sure."

"Me neither," Mario added, "Wario?"

"Okay, have you ever seen that movie _Morbit_ where Eddie Murphy plays that nerdy guy and that fat woman?" Wario rhetorically asked, "Ever see the scene where she goes on the waterslide, goes flying through the air, and winds up emptying out a kiddy pool and sending kids flying everywhere? _That's_ what would happen if I went on that. Now, I really wouldn't care if I sent a bunch of runny-nosed brats into deep space, but I'm not in the mood to fracture my tailbone, thank you very much."

"Dude, you saw that movie?" Waluigi inquired with obvious disgust.

"It was an accident!"

"I'm not talking to you."

"Oh yeah? And are _you_ going on that slide?"

Waluigi struck a dramatic pose.

"Of course! I'm not a coward, nor am I fat! I'll go on and make you all look like fools!"

"You're gonna go on that slide in Speedos?" Mario questioned, "I don't think that's the best swimwear to do that in…"

"Ha! You can't discourage me! I'll show you all!"

With that, Waluigi marched off with an air of superiority around him.

"Well, there he goes…" Mario sighed, "And I know _you_ probably don't wanna do it, right Luigi?"

No response.

"Luigi?"

Mario turned around to discover that his brother wasn't standing next to him anymore!

"Huh? Luigi's gone! But… Where'd he go?"

* * *

_I have to be insane._

That was the thought running through Luigi's head as he sat alone on the ski lift, riding it to the top of the mountain again.

_How many times has she told me I don't have to impress her by doing all these crazy rides? First on the Tower of Terror, then on Expedition: Everest… Why the heck am I doing this if she lo… _likes_ me just the way I am? Why?_

He reached the top of the ski lift, subconsciously getting off and walking almost automatically towards the slide he previously feared. As he got closer, he could see Daisy's brown, braided hair poking up out of the crowd. He shouted out to her, hoping that she would hear him.

She did.

Turning around, she looked at him straight in the eyes and let out the biggest smile. It was a smile that made Luigi's heart skip a beat, not out of fear, but out of joy. Quickly, she made her way back out of the line, so that they could wait for the slide together.

Luigi smiled. He remembered why.

_It's because she makes me brave._

* * *

"I still don't believe that he's going on Summit Plummet." 

"Peach, I looked everywhere else; this has to be where he is!"

"No offense Mario, but it's your brother. Do you think he could really do this ride?"

"I dunno… Daisy went on it, and there's no guessing _what_ he would do for her."

"Eh… I say he's probably throwing up in a bathroom somewhere after getting sick on Teabag Springs."

"It's 'Teamboat Springs', Wario."

"Yeah, whatever."

Mario, Peach, and Wario were standing at the base of Mt. Gushmore, right next to the bottom of Summit Plummet. Although the ride technically ended at the very bottom of the mountain, the slide continued straight ahead for about a hundred feet to give riders time to slow down after rocketing down the mountain. It was clear, judging from other riders splashing down, that all that extra tubing was needed.

"I'm just worried that he won't be able to handle it," Peach explained, "I mean, are you sure he won't get a heart attack or something?"

"Peach, I know Luigi isn't the bravest guy on the face of the earth," Mario admitted, "but he can build up the courage when he needs it. If he can survive a haunted mans… _house_," he corrected to avoid making a rather lame pun, "to rescue me, I'm sure he can manage a water slide to impress Daisy."

"I guess you're right…"

Suddenly, a reverberating "YEEHA!!!" could be heard coming down the slide.

"I recognize that shout anywhere…" Peach began, "That's Daisy."

Peach was right. Daisy came shooting out of the slide, water rushing around her feet like the aura around a comet, until she eventually came to a stop along the 'splashdown zone'.

"Oh yeah!" Daisy cheered, "_That_ was incredible!"

"Daisy!" Mario called out as the princess climbed out of the slide, "Uh… Did you happen to see Luigi anywhere? We kinda lost track of him."

"Luigi? Oh, he should be coming right… about… NOW!"

Sure enough, another person came shooting out of the slide. It didn't take long to realize that the green streak rushing down the splashdown zone was Luigi. He eventually came to a stop right next to Mario and Daisy.

"LUIGI!" Mario shouted, "You okay!?"

"So? How was it?" Daisy asked, shoving Mario aside and giving Luigi her hand to help him up.

"N-N-Not t-t-too b-b-bad…" Luigi shuttered, accepting her help and rubbing his bottom for a third time that day, "B-B-But l-l-let's n-n-not d-d-do i-i-it a-a-again, o-o-okay?"

"Fair enough," Daisy agreed walking the still shaking plumber off, hand-in-hand, "come on, you wanna do the lazy river now?"

Mario just sighed.

"Bro… The things you do for love…"

Suddenly, another, very high-pitched scream was heard coming down the slide. Soon after, Waluigi came flopping out less than majestically and coming to a stop almost immediately.

"Hmm? Waluigi?" Wario grunted, looking at his bro, "What's wrong? You're eyes are as big as dinner plates."

Waluigi very-stiffly got up, keeping his legs as far apart as possible, and gasped one word.

"Wedgie…"

He immediately fainted, another victim to the near-deathly combination of Summit Plummet and Speedos.

**Author's Note: And again I miss my deadline. I fail to meet my promises so much, I think I'd make a good politician! (cue laugh track) Anyway, I think I have a pretty good excuse this time, though... I was AT Disney World! And rest assured, I'm so pumped up from that trip, I think I'll be able to bring this fanfic home before the year is through! The Summer, even! Actually... Maybe I shouldn't say that last line. I'm about as good at keeping benchmarks as the Iraq military is. Still, this fic is on the home strech, and I won't stop until I see it through!**


	39. Dancing the Night Away

The sun was beginning to set over the Walt Disney World Resort. The two water parks were long closed by now and, save for the nighttime spectaculars, the theme parks were also starting to wind down their days. Just about everywhere in Disney World, the action and excitement was coming to an end.

Everywhere, that is, except one place.

In the middle section of Downtown Disney, things were just getting started. Buildings that were quiet all day were opening their doors, letting the music inside pour out into the streets. Lights everywhere were flashing, and the atmosphere was one of intense partying.

This was Pleasure Island, and it was the next stop for Mario and the gang.

After finishing up Blizzard Beach, the group had returned to the hotel to change out of their swimsuits and back into their normal clothes (for Peach, this also included a hat in an attempt to cover up her braided hair). Now, however, they were standing at the front entrance to Pleasure Island, ready to go in and see what the nightlife at Disney World was like.

"Pleasure Island…" Luigi mused, "Isn't that the place in _Pinocchio_ where all the kids turned into donkeys?"

"Don't worry, Luigi, this is a _much_ different Pleasure Island," Mario assured, "basically, all of Disney's nightlife is here, such as clubs and the like."

"Heh, you mean like that Club Sugar my 'pal' Jimmy T. runs?" Wario muttered, "Okay, so there's dancing. Whoopee-do… Where's the booze?"

"Wario!" Peach shouted, "This is Disney World!"

"Yeah? So? I bet they still sell the stuff here. If I drink enough, you actually start to look a little attractive!"

The next thing Wario knew, he was flying like an oblong missile after getting clobbered in the face with a frying pan. He eventually crashed into the side of a dumpster and hit the ground face-first.

"Oh yeah… She digs me…" he sputtered before blacking out.

"Uh… Okay, then…" Mario began, trying to ignore what had just transpired, "There are a lot of different places we can visit here. A few dance halls, something called the Adventurer's Club, and the Comedy Warehouse. Where do you guys want to go first?"

"I'd vote for the Comedy Warehouse," Luigi suggested.

"Sounds good to me," Peach agreed.

"Me too," Daisy added, "I could go for a few laughs… That aren't supplied by Mr. Congeniality over there, at any rate."

Wario grunted in response.

"Fine, whatever…" Waluigi shrugged, "If I get to see someone make a complete idiot out of themselves, I'm happy."

"Well, it's settled then!" Mario concluded, "The Comedy Warehouse it is!"

* * *

'Warehouse' _was_ an appropriate term for the building the comedy was being housed in: The walls were literally _covered_ in Disney memorabilia. Everything, from movie posters and toys to old 'Closed for Refurbishment' signs and various other knick-knacks, was hanging from the walls. As for the layout of the warehouse itself, there was a stage at the front of the room with elevated seats going all the way up into the back, much like a movie theater. However, there was also a long, narrow table in front of each row of seats, making each seat a 'bar seat'.

When Mario and the gang got inside, they sat down in one of the rows, with the Mario Bros. near the center isle, the princesses in the middle, and the Wario Bros. at the end, near the wall. In fact, Waluigi was sitting right next to the wall, where a phone was hanging rather suspiciously.

"Hey, whaddya think this is for?" Waluigi asked as he picked the phone off the receiver and tried talking into it, "Hello? Can you hear me now?"

"It's a prop, stupid," Wario grunted, having somehow fully recovered from bashing his brains against the side of a dumpster, "ya know, like every other dang thing in this building. Now, hang that stupid thing up or I'll ram it down your throat. Your call."

Needless to say, Waluigi hung up.

Soon, the warehouse was starting to fill up, and an announcer began talking to the crowd. Not surprisingly, though, he spent more time making jokes than actually announcing anything.

"Due to popular request," the announcer began, "tonight's performance will _not_ be in Portuguese."

There was a few scattered applauds at this 'announcement'.

"If you just applauded to that," he continued, "then you are racist… jerks."

"Hmm… I think I'm starting to get the idea as to what humor we're gonna be seeing here…" Daisy murmured, smiling a bit to herself.

"What? Cornball comedy?" Wario retorted, "Why the heck would you want that!? This is a nightclub, for crying out loud! Where's the raunchy stuff? Where's…"

He immediately shut up when he saw Peach reaching for her frying pan again.

Eventually, everyone was seated and the lights dimmed. Suddenly, a very energetic hostess marched through the onstage doors and quickly introduced herself.

"Hi, everyone, and welcome to the Comedy Warehouse!" she greeted, "What we do here is called 'improv comedy', which means we get input from you guys and then pretty much just make everything up as we go along! Saves a lot of time in rehearsal, it does…"

"Improv?..." Luigi muttered, "How's that gonna work? I mean, you can't _write_ improv."

"What are you talking about, Luigi?" Mario asked, "They're gonna act it out on the stage, not write it anywhere."

"Well… I mean… You know…" the green-clad plumber motioned towards the 'fourth wall', "Something will probably get lost in the translation, if you know what I mean."

Mario just raised an eyebrow.

"I have no idea what you're trying to get at, bro."

"I… Oh, never mind…" Luigi sighed.

"Anyway, before we begin," the hostess continued, "I wanna call a friend of mine and see if they have any ideas to get us started…"

She walked over to a phone that was on the stage and began dialing a number. Suddenly, the phone that was right next to Waluigi began to ring!

"Oh no…" Daisy mumbled.

Seeing that everyone's face was one of pure fear at the thought of him talking to the woman onstage, Waluigi gave the rest of the group a sinister grin before picking up the phone (again).

"Hellooooo…" Waluigi cooed into the receiver.

"Hiya!" the hostess on the other end replied, "What's your name?"

"Waluigi!" he answered.

"Okay… And where are you from?"

"The Mushroom Kingdom."

"Uh, huh… Are you here with anyone tonight?"

"Yeah! All these losers over here!" he pointed at everyone else in the row, "The big tub of lard right next to me is Wario. He's some big, high-falutin' CEO of his own video game company as well as a treasure hunter. We're partners, so to speak, though the bum never gives me anything for doin' his dirty work…"

"Hey!" Wario shouted, loud enough to be heard over the phone, "I pay you! Heck, I just gave you a raise last week! I doubled your salary!"

"Right…" Waluigi groaned, "And what's zero times two, cheapskate?"

"Well… Um… Shut up; math was never my strong suit."

"Anyway…" Waluigi continued, "The two chicks over there are Peach and Daisy, and let me tell ya… They're _really_ high maintenance. They're royalty, ya see, kinda like your precious little Disney Princesses, and they love to play the role of damsel in distress. I mean, they get kidnapped _all the freakin' time_."

"Waluigi!" Daisy protested, "I haven't been kidnapped in _years_! What are you talking about!?"

"That one's Daisy," Waluigi pointed out while ignoring her cries, "she has a bad taste in hairstyles, in case you couldn't tell."

"Oh, that does it…" she growled, running her fingers though her braided hair, "Next time we play baseball, I am _so_ going to aim at your face instead of the strike zone."

"Lady, you don't have the guts to mess up a handsome face like this," the lanky antihero taunted, "now, the next girl over is Peach. She's a blonde and, trust me, she's living proof that blonde jokes are indeed true."

"Uh… Hey… Waluigi…" Wario whispered, "Don't look now, but she's whipping out the frying pan again."

Waluigi turned and, noticing that what Wario had said was true, wisely decided to move on before suffering the same fate that his partner did.

"Okay… Ignoring little Ms. PeachMS over there… The last two idiots are none other than the 'Mario Bros.', Mario and… The other guy."

"It's _Luigi_…" the younger brother hissed, "It's bad enough that everyone did that in the Beanbean Kingdom…"

"I know, that's why I did it," Waluigi snickered, "regardless, Greenie here is a sniveling coward who probably jumps at his own shadow and whose standing order wherever he goes is 'try not to screw this up too bad'. Quite honestly, I'm usually embarrassed to call this loser my rival."

Luigi, at this point, was burring his head in shame, refusing to make eye contact with anyone.

"Way to go, Waluigi," Mario 'congratulated' sarcastically, "I think you just destroyed my brother's ego."

"He had one to begin with?" the purple plumber retorted, "at any rate, the guy in the red cap's Mario. He's a plumber, but somehow he got the title of 'Mr. Big-Shot Hero' since he's the one who has to go save Peach every ding-dong day."

"I see…" the hostess mused, "Well, thanks for the info! It was nice talking to you!"

With that, the woman hung up the phone. She then went back to the on-stage door, opened it up, and shouted inside.

"Alright, guys! You can come out now!"

Suddenly, three more people came pouring out the door and onto the stage. When all four comedians lined up, music began to play.

"Alright," the first comedian began, "so now what we're gonna do is sing a song about my new friend, Waluigi!"

Waluigi grinned. Everyone else went pale. This was _not_ going to end well.

* * *

Waluigi was still laughing as he walked out of the Comedy Warehouse and back onto the streets of Pleasure Island.

"Wha ha ha!!!" he guffawed, trying to hold back tears, "Man, you losers should've seen the looks on your faces! If I had a video camera, I would've taped all of you and sold the thing to Bowser! I'm sure he'd get a kick outta it, too!"

"If you had a video camera…" Wario corrected, smoke pouring out of his ears, "I would've shoved the thing so far down your ugly little throat, you'd have a video of the inside of your underwear!"

"So, Peach…" Daisy asked her fellow princess, "You want _me_ to hold Waluigi down while _you_ beat him up, or the other way around?"

Peach folded her arms and glared at Waluigi.

"I say we both beat him up."

"Hey, I'm starting to rub off on ya," Daisy complimented, giving her 'sister-in-arms' a playful punch to the shoulder.

Luigi didn't say anything. He _hadn't_ said anything since the song. Instead, he had pulled the brim of his hat over his face and refused to socialize with anyone. Mario, on the other hand, was busy mumbling some choice words in Italian as he stared at Waluigi, trying his hardest to refrain from throwing a few fireballs at the skinny antagonist.

However, while the group had been pretty off-put by Waluigi's stunt in the Comedy Warehouse, being back in the party-filled streets of Pleasure Island slowly brought their moods back up.

"Well, I guess we should hit one of the dance clubs next," Mario suggested, "anyone have a preferred type of music?"

Surprisingly enough, the replies came back almost unanimous.

"Techno."

"Yeah, techno."

"Techno's fine with me."

"…" Luigi simply nodded.

"Hey, what about country?"

Everyone glared at Waluigi.

"What? I _like_ country," Waluigi defended, "it's the music that goes best with my dance moves!"

"You mean that 'crotch-chop' thing you do in those soccer tournaments?" Daisy inquired.

"Uh… Well… Yeah…"

"Sorry, Waluigi, but you're outnumbered," Mario countered, "besides, you owe us for that Comedy Warehouse stint."

"What!? No I don't! I don't owe you nothin'!"

"So that means you _do_ owe us something, sucker!" Wario concluded, "Heh heh… Double negatives… Gotta love 'em."

"Yeah, but… GAH! FINE! I'll do techno! Stupid idiots…"

The group made their way to the techno dance hall on Pleasure Island: Mannequins Dance Palace. Once there, they all, obviously, began dancing… Except Luigi, who simply walked over to the bar, sat down, and ordered a drink. Daisy was the first to notice this.

"Gee… He's still bummed out over that whole musical number, isn't he?" she asked Mario.

"Hmm… I guess so," the plumber replied, "I mean, Waluigi was a jerk for humiliating us like that, but Luigi must've _really_ taken it hard."

Unable to stand seeing him so depressed, Daisy made her way over to him and sat down next to him.

"Hey… You okay, Luigi?" she inquired.

"… I'm fine…" he murmured almost inaudibly.

"Why don't you go out on the dance floor and strut your stuff a little bit?"

"… I'm not a good dancer."

"Not a good dancer? Come on, I know you can dance! You helped Mario get the Music Keys back, remember?"

At this point, the barkeep came up and gave Luigi his drink.

"Root beer, eh?" Daisy observed.

"… I don't like alcohol. It tastes bad."

"Well, I suppose that's a good thing. You won't ever get drunk that way…"

As she watched Luigi remain quiet and take a sip of his drink, Daisy realized she needed to stop beating around the bush and get to the point.

"Okay, look, Luigi: I know Waluigi was acting like a total jerk back at the Comedy Warehouse, but you can't let that bother you! It's not like he doesn't do that all the time anyway. This is _Waluigi_ we're talking about here; the guy hardly says anything if it isn't an insult!"

"… Yeah, but he made me look like an idiot in front of everyone in that show."

"Aw, come on, I don't think anyone was taking him _seriously_. It was the _Comedy _Warehouse, after all! They probably thought he was just joking around! Trust me, if anyone in that show actually thought _for a second_ that you were a complete wuss who couldn't do anything right, I'd give then a reminder they wouldn't soon forget!"

The princess slowly got up and started walking back to the dance floor before turning back to Luigi.

"Come on, you wanna dance with me?"

Luigi immediately snapped to attention and stared at Daisy wide-eyed.

"D-D-Dance?" he sputtered, "W-W-With you? B-B-But I don't think you can really dance as a pair to techno…"

"So? There's a first time for everything. The way I see it, you can dance to _any_ type of music as a pair…"

She held out her hand.

"… You just need two people."

Slowly, but surely, Luigi reached out and held onto her hand. Almost immediately, she dragged him to his feet and out onto the dance floor. When she did so, quite a large group of people stopped to watch them, the least of which were Mario and the gang.

"Uh… Daisy…" Luigi mumbled, "Everyone's looking at us…"

"Let 'em look," she replied, "they're just jealous."

Luigi had never imagined dancing with Daisy, let alone to techno music, but after that night, he couldn't picture it any other way.

**Author's Note: Yes, I know I kinda chickened out on the whole improv song there (as well as the rest of the show), but I figured that, like Luigi sorta hinted at, you can't truly capture the spirit of improv unless it's _truly_ improvised, something that's impossible to do in writing. My advice: Go to the Comedy Warehouse and see for yourself. Or just watch _Whose Line is it Anyway?_ That works too.**


	40. Shopping Spree!

**Author's Note: Hey, an author's note at the begining. That's new. Anyway, I thought that, after seeing what some of the reviews said for the last chapter, I should clear something up: The Comedy Warehouse _doesn't_ focus on making fun of the audiance, like I kinda accidentally made it look like in the previous chapter. In fact, _my_ family was actually used for one of the songs, and it was _hilarious_! The reason everyone was so embarassed/angry afterwards in the fic was because Waluigi, being the jerk that he is, gave all that negative information to the comedians so they really had nothing else to work with, hense a somewhat insulting song. Obviously, if you or a family member winds up with the phone, I'm sure you'd give the comedians much more positive stuff to work with! In other words, don't let Waluigi's antics discourage you from checking out the Comedy Warehouse! That place is comedy gold!**

Luigi let out a long, sad groan as the alarm clock rang the next morning. Granted, it was better than having Mario use that confounded air horn, but that wasn't the true reason he was sad; it was the last full day of the trip. Tomorrow morning, they were going home.

There was a very somber mood in the room as the Mario Bros. got ready for the day. Mario was already dressed and eating breakfast out on the balcony, looking at the castle from across the Seven Seas Lagoon. Soon, Luigi joined him, sitting in a chair on the other side of the balcony.

"So… Today's really our last day, huh?" Luigi asked.

"Yep," Mario replied.

"Got anything special planed?"

"Hmm… Not really. Tonight, we're all gonna go see _Fantasmic!_ and then go eat at Victoria & Albert's."

"Oh yeah, that fancy place… I hope Wario and Waluigi actually behave for once in there."

"I don't think Peach is taking that chance. I think I saw her calling the babysitting service last night."

The brothers shared a laugh for a moment before continuing.

"So, anyway… Why are we eating at Victoria & Albert's, again?" Luigi began.

"Don't you remember why we went on this trip to begin with?" Mario answered, "Today's Peach's birthday!"

"It is!?" Luigi gasped, suddenly turning pale, "Momma mia, I forgot to buy a present!"

"Don't worry, bro," Mario assured, "we can give her something together; you can just share… my… gift…"

It was Mario's turn to go pale.

"Aw, shroom! I forgot to get her something, too!"

The two brothers looked at each other.

"Uh…" Luigi muttered, "I guess we _do_ have something special to do today, eh, bro?"

"Quiet…"

* * *

As the two brothers entered the lobby, they quickly ran into the princesses. However, while Daisy still had her hair braided, Peach's hair was once again hanging down… albeit _very_ curly. 

"Don't tell me…" Mario began, "Daisy let you undo all the braiding."

"Yeah…" Peach replied, blowing a strand of curly hair out of her face, "It took me all night long, but I did it. I wasn't aware that the hair would've retained the shape so well, though. At least it doesn't look all _that_ bad, right?"

"You look like Shirley Temple," Luigi commented.

Just then, Wario and Waluigi came marching into the lobby. Upon seeing Peach, Wario instantly covered his mouth, gasped loudly, and pointed at her hair.

"Oh my gosh!" Wario shouted, "Peach! There's a wild animal on your head!"

Peach immediately pulled out her frying pan and swung at the greedy antihero, but he quickly dodged out of the way.

"Nice try!" Wario taunted, "But you're doin' that so dang much, I've figured out how to avoid it! You can't--- OW!!!"

Wario clutched at his sore noggin and turned around to see Daisy standing there, holding a tennis racket.

"A-Wha!?..." Wario sputtered, "You too!?"

"Yep," Daisy replied, "so don't go around insulting my friend!"

Wario grumbled a bit about 'losers' before waddling off to go do his own thing.

"So, today's our last day here," Peach began, her voice with a tinge of sadness, "the evening's pretty booked up, but we've got the morning to do something. What do you guys think?"

Mario quickly glanced at Luigi. Even though they didn't trade any words, they knew they were both thinking the same thing.

"How about the Marketplace?" Mario suggested, "You can get a few souvenirs there, and Luigi and I need to… pick up a few things."

"Sounds good to me," Daisy agreed, "I'm not a big shopping gal, but I think I can make an exception for Disney."

"Bah! You're not foolin' us!" Wario shouted from a short distance away, "I'm not buyin' nothin'!"

"Hey, Wario! Does that mean you _will_ buy something?" Waluigi retorted, "You did the double negatives thing you were yelling at me for last night!"

"What? No I didn't!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"That's it! GAH!!!"

The Wario Bros. suddenly went at it right there in the lobby, beating each other up in a huge 'fight cloud'.

"Uh… They _aren't_ gonna be with us in Victoria and Albert's, right?" Mario asked Peach.

"Don't worry," Peach assured, "I ordered them a few pay-per-view movies for their hotel room. If _Pulp Fiction_ doesn't keep them engrossed, I don't know what will."

"Smart woman," Mario complimented, "so… You wanna go shopping?"

* * *

The Marketplace, the last of the three sections of Downtown Disney, certainly lived up to its name. The entire property was covered with huge stores that, while they sold many different things, they all had the Disney brand name. There was a sports equipment/apparel store, a toy store, a pet merchandise store, a fine art store, even a store entirely devoted to Christmas decorations! 

However, the first place the group visited was the 'World of Disney' store. This huge building wasn't classified by what it sold; quite simply, it sold _anything_ that had to do with Disney. If it wasn't there, it probably didn't exist.

Once Mario and the gang entered, the Mario Bros. quickly pulled themselves away from the rest of the group. Their first priority was to each find a present for Peach or, at the very least, find something they could give her together.

"You have any ideas, Luigi?" Mario asked, browsing through a bin full of Disney plushies.

"Not a clue…" Luigi sighed, putting away a Tinker Bell t-shirt "What on earth are you supposed to get for a _princess_, anyway? She could buy this entire store for herself if she wanted to!"

"You want my advice?" the red-capped plumber began, "It's pointless to just look for things based only on their material value. You should get something because of what it means to both you and Peach. Is there any personal thing you two share?"

"Uh… We both don't like ghosts?..." he meekly suggested, "Should I get her a Haunted Mansion playset or something?"

Mario let out a low groan.

"Luigi, just look for a gift from the heart, that's all I'm saying."

"Oh, right… Gotcha… I think…"

Luigi walked off, leaving Mario standing there next to the stuffed animals.

"Now if only I could listen to my own advice…" he mumbled as he shifted through all the dolls again.

* * *

Meanwhile, on the other side of the store, Wario and Waluigi were getting into their own special antics. The World of Disney was divided into several rooms, each with a different theme. The Wario Bros. were currently in the 'Adventure Room', which was decked out in all sorts of pirate memorabilia. Naturally enough, they weren't concerning themselves with getting a gift for Peach; they were busy attending to more… important matters. 

"Hey! Waluigi! Help me out here!" Wario demanded, trying to find his lanky partner in the crowd, "I'm doing one of those 'buy a cup for $2.50 and fill it up with as many jewels as you can' deals and I need help cramming as much stuff in here as humanely possible!"

It took him a few minutes of searching before he found Waluigi looking over a collection of Stitch plushies.

"Aw… He's so cute…" Waluigi was muttering, hugging one of the Stitch dolls.

"Waluigi, what in the stars' names are you doing!?" Wario shouted.

"I… Um… Er…" the purple-clad plumber sputtered, quickly hiding the stuffed animal behind his back, "Nothing. Go away."

"Are you _cuddling_ with one of those stupid stuffed animals?"

"Uh… No. Go away."

"Waluigi, you _do_ realize that you're so skinny that I can see the doll you're trying to hide behind your back, right?"

"Erm… No?"

Wario promptly whacked Waluigi upside the head and snatched the Stitch plushie out of his hands.

"You idiot! What are you doing playing with a _Stitch_ toy anyway!? He's the little merchandise hog that killed that awesome Alien ride!"

"What? I think you'd relate to him!" Waluigi retorted, "You're both rude, nasty, and spit at people!"

"Since when have I ever spit at someone!?... Besides that one time… And the other… And… Uh…"

Realizing that he couldn't exactly defend himself, Wario simply looked back down at the Stitch plushie. Noticing a string on the back, he gave it a pull.

"'Ohana' means 'family'," the doll spoke, "nobody gets left behind or forgotten."

Wario just glared at the stuffed animal for a few more moments before turning back to Waluigi.

"For the record, I'd _shoot myself in the face_ before saying anything remotely resembling that," Wario deadpanned.

Shoving 'Stitch' back into Waluigi's arms, Wario stormed off, leaving the purple plumber by himself.

"Grr…" Waluigi growled, "I'll show you!… Right after I go purchase this toy."

* * *

"Daisy, you're absolutely crazy." 

"What? I think they look pretty darn cool."

"Trust me, they don't."

"That's just your opinion, Peach."

"Daisy, look, there are a bunch of others here, why do you want _those_?"

"Because they're awesome!"

"But… They're _Stitch_."

"So? What's wrong with Stitch?"

Peach let out a long, frustrated sigh. Apparently, it wasn't just Wario and Waluigi who were having issues over something concerning Stitch. She and Daisy were in, appropriately enough, the 'Princess' room in the store, where all the jewelry could be found. Peach decided that it might be nice to buy some new earrings there, to which Daisy agreed. However, their tastes were noticeably… different: Peach got a pair of 'Classic Mickey' earrings while Daisy was trying to buy a pair of Stitch ones that made it look like he was biting down on her earlobe.

"Daisy, you can't go around wearing those!" Peach insisted, "They look ridiculous!"

"Come on, Peach, give me a break!... Um… Hey! Luigi!"

Luigi, who was standing in the adjacent room where candy was being displayed (and mumbling about being hungry), heard Daisy's call and came over.

"Uh… Yeah?"

"Peach and I are in a deadlock over something and we need you to be the tiebreaker: Do these earrings look cool?"

Luigi looked at them and just shrugged.

"I dunno… I'm a guy! I don't know anything about jewelry!"

While Luigi was talking, Peach noticed that he was holding a large shopping bag.

"What's in the bag, Luigi?" Peach asked.

"Erm… Oh, nothing!" Luigi quickly answered, hiding the bag behind his back, "Nothing at all! Not like it's your birthday present or something!"

There was a short delay before Luigi realized that he had pretty much blown his cover anyway.

"Uh… Oh, shroom…"

Embarrassed, he swiftly turned and ran off without saying another word, leaving the two princesses still stuck in their debate.

"He didn't say anything negative about them," Daisy insisted.

"He didn't say anything about them period!" Peach retorted.

This time, it was Daisy's turn to sigh. If there was one thing she didn't like about shopping, it was dealing with Peach.

"Fine, fine… You win…" Daisy grumbled, putting the earrings away and picking up another pair, "I'll get these Tinker Bell ones instead."

"That's much better," Peach replied, "come on, let's go pay."

However, as soon as Peach turned around and began heading towards the counter, Daisy quietly swapped the Tinker Bell ones back for Stitch again.

* * *

Mario was quickly getting annoyed. He couldn't find a good gift! There just wasn't anything that seemed personal enough to him and Peach that he could give to her for her birthday! A DVD just seemed tacky, anything for the home would've most likely clashed with her castle's décor, and he certainly wasn't going to buy her a t-shirt, especially considering that he couldn't recall a single time she wore something other than a dress. Frustrated, he found a corner he could sit down in and began to think: What could he _possibly_ get her? 

Looking up, he suddenly spotted something on a shelf across from him. Upon seeing it, inspiration hit like a rocket. Of course! That was the _perfect_ gift! Getting up, he ran over, picked the thing up, and brought it over to the cash register. The casher had just put it in a bag when Mario noticed that the princess themselves were approaching him.

"Oh! Hey, ladies!" Mario greeted, "I just finished buying what I was looking for! How about you two?"

"I think we're done, as well," Peach replied, "I was thinking that, as soon as we can find Luigi, Wario, and Waluigi, we should head back to the hotel."

"Already?" Mario gasped, "Why? We haven't been here _that_ long, and we only did one store!"

"We need to get ready for Victoria & Albert's," Peach explained, "the reservations are for right after _Fantasmic!_, so we'll have to get dressed up for it before the show and go to both like that."

"A show and a dinner, huh? Okay, I get that… But we have to find everyone else first!"

They didn't have to wait long, however. Luigi showed up almost immediately, waving what looked like a GBA game box around.

"I decided to get something for myself," Luigi stated, "_Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories_: all the fun of Kingdom Hearts without having to play it on that… other system."

"Clever, Luigi," Mario commented, "I coulda used that back in Innoventions…"

Soon after, Wario and Waluigi came up. Wario was still empty-handed, but Waluigi, along with his precious Stitch plushie, also had what looked like a hat with mechanical spider legs on his head.

"Check it out!" Waluigi began, pointing at his new headgear, "I'm 'Bowler Hat Man'!"

There was a collective groan amongst everyone present. After what he had done the day before, _no one_ liked Waluigi's attempts at comedy.

* * *

"Well, Peach, we're back at the hotel," Daisy sighed, plopping down on the bed in their room, "what's all this 'getting ready' that you're talking about? It's just a restaurant, right?" 

"'Just a restaurant'!?" Peach repeated in disbelief, "Daisy, Victoria & Albert's is the dining centerpiece of all of Walt Disney World! It got the coveted five-diamond award from AAA! You have to look your best just to get in the door! For starters, you need a dress."

"Wearing one!" Daisy pointed out.

"I mean a _really_ fancy dress," the pink princess elaborated, "here, look at the one I brought."

Daisy lifted her head off the pillow to see Peach hold up a beautiful gown. It was still pink, but gold and sliver lacing decorated it from top to bottom. The dress seemed to be made of pure silk, which caused it to practically shimmer in the sunlight that poured through the window.

"Oh…" the flower princess murmured, "Right… The bad news is that I don't have something _that_ fancy in my entire wardrobe. The good news is that, yes, I _did_ bring the best dress I _do_ have."

Daisy got up, walked over to her suitcase, and pulled out the dress she was talking about. It, too, was the same color that she always wore, orange, but it was much paler than normal. There was also a lot of lacing around the fringes, but besides that, it looked like her normal dress.

"Daisy, that looks gorgeous!" Peach complimented, "That doesn't look any less beautiful than mine!"

"Really? Thanks!"

"Well, since your dress is fine, let's talk about your hair…"

Daisy reflexively reached up and touched her braided head.

"Okay, fine," Daisy admitted, "I wasn't expecting this to exactly fly in that restaurant, anyway. You want me to try and undo it all?"

"Actually…" Peach mused, "I got a better idea…"

Peach walked over to the phone and began dialing.

"Hey, Peach? What are you doing?"

"Making sure you keep up your side of the bargain," she taunted before talking into the phone, "Hello? Is this the Ivy Trellis Salon? Yes, I'd like to make an appointment…"

* * *

"Hey, bro, hand me the comb." 

"Got it," Mario replied, tossing the comb Luigi's direction. The green-clad plumber caught it and began running it through his hair.

"Gee, I can't remember the last time I went anywhere without my hat…" Luigi pondered.

"Yeah, me neither," Mario agreed, "still, it's for Peach, so I'm willing to make the sacrifice."

The two brothers were standing in the bathroom, getting ready for the dinner before setting out to see _Fantasmic!_. Since they didn't need as much time to prepare as the girls did, they spent most of the day lounging around the hotel one last time before finally getting ready late into the afternoon. They had already changed out of their overalls and into dress shirts and pants, but they still had to do some grooming before slipping on their jackets and heading out the door.

"And these suits didn't come with gloves, either…" the younger brother continued, inspecting his hands, "Dangit, I never knew how dry my hands were… Must be from all that hammer swinging."

"Here, try this," Mario suggested, handing Luigi a blue bottle, "it's hand lotion."

Luigi looked at the bottle.

"It says that the hand lotion is 'specially formulated for men'. What does _that_ mean?"

"It means they took it out of the pink bottle, put it in a blue bottle, and charged you five bucks extra for it," Mario joked.

"Right…" Luigi replied, pouring some out and rubbing his hands together.

There were a few moments of silence before Luigi spoke up again.

"Mario… I'm nervous."

"Me too, bro."

"No, really… This is my first big date with Daisy. What if I blow it?"

"I'm sure you'll be fine. It's _Daisy_, after all. She'd probably still like you even if the waiter tripped and dumped all the food on you!"

"Very reassuring…"

Mario stopped what he was doing and put a hand on Luigi's shoulder.

"Look bro, just relax. Everything will be fine. Has anything happened so far on this vacation that caused Daisy to not like you?"

"No…"

"Then I doubt anything that could happen at a single dinner, no matter how fancy, could do that. So just calm down and enjoy the meal. Besides, we're doing _Fantasmic!_ first, so don't go worrying about dinner yet, or you'll miss the show, got it?"

"Yep! Thanks, Mario."

"Anytime, Luigi. Now, let's get out there and meet the princesses."

The two brothers quickly slipped on their dress jackets and walked out the door. Once in the hotel hallway, they passed the Wario Bros. room and overheard some of the conversation going on inside.

"So Waluigi… You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in the Mushroom Kingdom?"

"They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with Cheese?"

"No man, they got the metric system. They don't know what the---"

The Mario Bros. quickly decided to keep walking before Wario could finish the quote, and made their way to the hotel lobby.

"Nice to see that the movie's keeping them occupied," Luigi snickered.

Once the duo reached the lobby, they began looking around for any sign of Peach or Daisy.

"You see them?" Luigi asked.

"Uh… Not yet… Oh wait! There they are!"

Sure enough, Peach and Daisy were walking up to them. However, like the Mario Bros., they too were dressed up. Along with the dresses, their hair was also neatly styled. Peach's hair was set up in a French bun, and it looked like there were a few highlights in it. Daisy's, on the other hand, was, incredibly enough, perfectly straight and cut into a bob, and it seemed to be a few tints redder. They were also both wearing makeup, which, as far as Luigi could tell, was the first time he ever saw Daisy doing so.

"Wow! Um… You look great!" Luigi complimented.

"Thank you," Peach replied, "the salon did a great job, didn't it, Daisy?"

"That was _so_ not an equal bargain…" Daisy hissed, "There is no way getting your hair braided was as agonizing as that. Even that spa trip was more tolerable than that torture…"

"Well, anyway…" Mario interrupted, trying to avoid a potential argument, "Shall we go out? _Fantasmic!_ starts in an hour."

"Yes, let's!" Peach replied with a giggle.

And so, Mario took Peach's arm while Luigi took Daisy's, and the two couples headed out the door for the ultimate Disney double date.

* * *

As the group headed outside, no one noticed the two shadowy figures standing up on one of the rooftops of the Grand Floridian. Obviously, it was none other than Bowser and Bowser Jr., but by now, they were _mad_. They had spent the entire vacation trying to ruin everything for Mario and the gang, but they were unsuccessful every time. All they achieved at doing was blowing themselves up (multiple times), getting run over by various vehicles, and being blasted into deep space (twice, in Bowser's case). Now, they finally had it. 

"You hear that, Pops?" Bowser Jr. asked, "They're gonna go see that show at the Studios! Fa… Famtastic! Famastic! Fa…"

"_Fantasmic!_" Bowser corrected, smoke pouring out of his nostrils, "And this may be our last chance at getting rid of those losers…"

As he watched the four heroes climb into a bus that went to the theme park, Bowser let out a mighty roar.

"AND THIS TIME IT'S GONNA BE NO HOLDS BARED!!! ENJOY YOUR FUN WHILE IT LASTS, MARIO, 'CUZ I'M GONNA FINISH YOU ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!"


	41. A Fantasmic Battle!

**Author's Note: Yes, I know this is late... Again. That's for two reasons: First, schoolwork is evil, especially when you take two AP classes. Second, if you haven't checked out my 'homepage' in my bio as of late, you should do so now. With the help of fellow fanfiction author AnT, we've begun an awsome Mario RP forum! Things are still starting up, so if you wanna join, now's the time! Sales pitch aside, getting that sucker started took up a lot of time, hense the delay. Regardless, I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

The sun had already set by the time Mario and crew arrived at the Studios. The foursome quickly made their way towards _Fantasmic_!, Mario leading the way.

"Come on, guys!" Mario called out, urging them on, "The show starts in thirty minutes!"

"Momma mia," Luigi panted, "what's the rush? If we've still got thirty minutes, we can relax a bit, right?"

"Actually," Mario corrected, "this show's popular… _Really_ popular. The amphitheater fills up to capacity almost every night, and that's usually long before the show actually starts!"

Sure enough, he was right. As the group reached the entrance to the amphitheater _Fantasmic!_ was hosted in, one could already see hundreds of people going in! Thankfully, the group was to weave their way through the crowds with relative ease. Regardless, though, the pathway leading from the entrance of _Fansasmic!_ to the actual amphitheater itself was a long one.

"Phew! This is really a hike!" Peach gasped.

"Well, it takes up an awful lot of real estate," Daisy explained, "You see, this show was originally in Disneyland, staged on the Rivers of America and people would watch it from the shoreline around Frontierland and New Orleans Square. Unfortunately, that caused a major traffic issue whenever the show started, causing people who wanted to keep going on rides and stuff to force their way through the audience. When they brought it here, they built this _huge_ amphitheater for it to avoid that problem. Of course, they couldn't just plop something like that in the middle of the park, so they have it here on the outskirts, hence the long road leading to it."

Peach just looked at her fellow princess.

"How'd you know all that?"

"That guide book you gave me on the plane!" Daisy replied.

"Oh right…"

Peach thought back to when she gave Daisy the guide book. That was all the way since before they were even _in_ Disney World, and now it was already their last night. It was incredible how quickly time flew by…

"Hey! Peach! We're here!"

Peach quickly snapped back to reality upon hearing Mario's voice.

"Oh, we are?"

"Yep! Look: there's the amphitheater!"

The group was currently in the very back of the amphitheater, looking down on everything below them. Before them was a massive stage, separated from the audience by a huge moat. At the moment, there was nothing on the stage except a huge mountain as a backdrop. On the other side of the moat was dozens of very long bleachers that were sitting hundreds of people. As more and more people filled in the seats, it was starting to look like there would be standing room only!

"Great galloping goombas, Mario, you weren't kidding!" Luigi hollered in disbelief, "We _do_ have to hurry! I don't think there's a seat left!"

The foursome quickly began searching for some open spaces as close to center as possible. Thankfully, they didn't have to look for long. As luck would have it, there were four empty spots right in the centermost set of bleachers. They quickly got situated and began to relax.

"So… Now what?" Daisy asked.

"Simple…" Mario replied, letting out a huge sigh, "We wait for the show!"

* * *

Unbeknownst to anyone in the group, they were being watched. Bowser and his son were hiding in the shadows, chuckling to themselves as they watched the foursome chat and wait for _Fantasmic!_ to begin. 

"There they are, Pops!" Bowser Jr. called out, "They're all sitting ducks! Come on, let's cream 'em!"

"Wait, Son!" Bowser interrupted, "We still have to be stealthy about this… If we can just take Mario out, everyone else will fall easily, even if we have to wait until they get back to the Mushroom Kingdom to get rid of 'em!"

"Fine, fine…" Jr. grumbled, "I still wanna beat 'em all up, though…"

Bowser reached into the back of his shell and pulled out a magic wand. It was one of those shape-shifting ones he 'borrowed' from all the royalty in the surrounding Mushroom World when he sent out his Doom Ships in full force that one time. He began patting it in his hand as he glanced down at his son, who was still glaring at Mario and co.

"So, Pops…" the little brat continued, not noticing the wand in Bowser's hand "How are we gonna get Mario out of the way, anyhow?"

"I'll explain it to ya in a second, but first…" he held the wand up, "You're gonna need a disguise."

Bowser Jr. turned around just in time to see the spell hit him.

* * *

Mario quickly came to the conclusion that _Fantasmic!_ was, indeed, one of the best things in Walt Disney World. The show had only been going on for about fifteen minutes at this point, but already he was certain of this fact. The plotline of the show had been relatively simple so far: it was all about Mickey Mouse's dreams and imagination. However, it was all told though fireworks, laser lights, and a sort of 'mist screen' where water from the moat was shot into the air and images were projected on it. It was, without a doubt, some of the best special effects Disney had. The show was reaching a turning point, though: Maleficent was none to happy with Mickey's happy dreams, and was about to set out with a bunch of other villains to turn them into nightmares. However, at this point, Mario felt someone tap him on the shoulder. Turning around, he noticed Cast Member standing behind him, motioning to him. 

"Uh… Sorry to bother you sir…" the Cast Member said (in an oddly familiar voice…), "But can we see you for a second?"

Mario glanced at Luigi, Peach, and Daisy, who were all looking at him, trying to figure out what was going on.

"Don't worry guys, I'm sure it's nothing," Mario assured before turning back to the Cast Member, "Okie-dokie, I'll come."

Mario got up and followed him out of the amphitheater, leaving the remaining trio a bit confused, but otherwise fine.

"That's weird…" Luigi muttered, "I hope everything's alright."

"Me too…" Peach agreed, "What would they want with Mario?"

"Aw, listen to the man! Don't worry about it!" Daisy replied, "What's the worst it could be? Bowser?"

* * *

Mario began to get the feeling that something wasn't quite right when the Cast Member led him backstage into a room that seemed to be underneath the _Fantasmic!_ stage. Looking around, it appeared to be the place where they kept all the pyrotechnics: fireworks were lying around virtually everywhere. 

"Um… Okay, what's going on?" Mario demanded, "Something's seriously wrong here!"

"Heh, heh… Nothing is wrong… _Mario_," the Cast Member hissed, "You're just about to be blown into oblivion, that's all."

Suddenly, there was a blinding flash, and in an instant, the 'Cast Member' revealed his true form: Bowser Jr.!

"What!?" Mario shouted, quickly getting into a fighting stance, "Bowser Jr.!? What are _you_ doing here!? Shouldn't you be at home with your dad?"

"Oh, don't worry about _that_…" another very familiar voice came from the shadows, "Daddy wouldn't let his kid go somewhere as big as Disney World all by himself…"

Then, Bowser came lumbering out from behind a pile of firecrackers.

"Man, you're really dense, you know that?" Bowser laughed, waving the wand in the air, "You fell for my son in a dorky Disney disguise because of this magic wand? What, did you eat a bowl of stupid for breakfast?"

"Actually, I thought I did a pretty good job…" Bowser Jr. mumbled under his breath, although no one else heard him.

"Knock it off, Bowser!" Mario shouted, glaring daggers at the father/son duo, "What are you two doing here?"

"It's very simple, Mario…" Bowser replied with a chuckle, "It's the same thing we've been trying to do to you this entire trip: blow you off the map while your guard was down!"

Mario raised an eyebrow.

"Wait… You've been trying to do this the entire trip?"

"Yeah! You got a problem with that!?"

"Well, you must've done a pretty lousy job!" Mario retorted, taking his turn to laugh, "Except maybe for those bob-ombs in DisneyQuest, we didn't even notice your antics at all!"

This did not settle well for Bowser. He let out a huge roar and, although very risky considering all the flammable objects in the immediate vicinity, expelled a huge plume of flame.

"Oh yeah? Well, subtlety is gone now, buddy!" Bowser growled, "It's just you verses us now, and unlike Mickey Mouse upstairs, this battle ain't staged in your favor!"

"Fine… If that's the case…"

Mario ripped off his suit and tossed it to the side, not wanting it to get dirty. Incredibly enough, he had his traditional red-and-blue outfit on underneath the entire time.

"I'll show you, Bowser! This is our vacation and Peach's birthday, and I'm not gonna let you ruin it!"

Bowser just took a moment to adjust his neck, which was accompanied by a loud 'CRACK!'.

"Bring it on, Mario! _This_ is going to be the happiest place on earth… When I remove you _from_ it!"

"Yeah!" Bowser Jr. agreed, "And we're gonna take Momma Peach back, too!"

And then the battle began.

Mario ran in to try and get a hit on Bowser, but he quickly had to retreat when the Koopa King used his fire breath. Unfortunately, he stumbled right into Bowser Jr., who tripped him up and sent him flying into a crate of fireworks. The danger in this fight was clear: one misstep on Bowser's part, and this entire room would get blown up!

However, if Bowser was concerned about this, he certainly wasn't showing it. He dived for Mario, who frantically rolled off the fireworks as the giant turtle smashed into them. Thankfully, none of them went off, but it was only a matter of time…

"Hey, Bowser!" Mario called out, "You sure you wanna fight here? I don't think both of us getting blow into the Overthere would exactly qualify as a Stalemate!"

"Ha! I've been blown up about twenty times already on this blasted trip!" the Koopa King retorted, "Another batch of bombs isn't gonna hurt me! _You_ on the other hand…"

Mario leaped out of the way as Bowser used his flame breath once more. Afterwards, he ran in to try and deliver a blow, but Bowser Jr. leaped in the way and walloped Mario in the face with his shell, sending the plumber sprawling back into a wall.

"Yeah! Take that, Mario!" Bowser Jr. taunted, "When we're through with you, you're gonna be packing your bags and moving into the Haunted Mansion!"

Mario slowly got to his feet and tried to get his bearings back. In the meantime, he could hear _Fantasmic!_ still going on above. All this was going on… And no one else noticed? He shook his head and quickly got back into a fighting position. If he was gonna fight Bowser like this, he might as well keep it discrete!

He ran at the monster turtle and, finally, managed to land a blow. The punch sent Bowser tumbling backwards into another rack of fireworks, but once again, none went off. Bowser Jr. quickly tried to sneak an attack in, but Mario was on guard this time and dodged out of the way, which caused the spoiled prince to just hit the ground face-first.

Meanwhile, Mario could feel the whole room rumble. He wasn't quite sure what it was, but if the promotional videos were any indication, he had a pretty good idea what was going on upstairs: Dragon Maleficent was coming out onto the stage, threatening Mickey in the final showdown.

_Heh, Disney always makes these good vs. evil fights seem so easy…_ Mario thought to himself.

As he was pondering this (and while the Bowser duo was getting back up onto their feet), Mario noticed something else happening: the roof of the room was opening up… Fireworks were about to be launched! This caused an idea to run though Mario's mind: Didn't the villain from _Mulan_ get killed by a launched firecracker?...

His thought process was interrupted when he got punched in the face, courtesy of Bowser. The blow sent him flying across the room, hitting the ground hard, and sliding along the floor for a few yards before hitting something metal. While shaking the Power Stars out of his head, Mario observed _what_, exactly, he had hit: a series of 'cannons' designed to launch the pyrotechnics.

Bingo.

Mario leaped to his feet, back against the silos, and waited for Bowser to lunge at him. Sure enough, he did, claws out, fangs bared, and nostrils smoking.

"Time to put an end to your vacation, Mario!"

"No…" Mario replied, "It's time to put an end to _yours_!"

He dropped to the ground so that the Koopa King, who was aiming a bit higher, went over him. Then, with a somersault kick like the ones he did during the Strikers tournaments, Mario delivered a hit to Bowser's chest, sending the turtle over the top of the cannons… and landing head-first into one!

"What the… HEY! GET ME OUTTA HERE!" Bowser screamed, his feet wiggling comically in the air.

"Don't worry…" Mario assured, putting his dress jacket back on and dusting the sleeves off, "You'll be outta there in a few minutes. I'm sure of it."

Unfortunately, the heroic plumber forgot to take into account Bowser Jr. He was promptly reminded of this fact when he suddenly found a small reptile latched to his face, as if he was trying to claw it off.

"You big meanie!" Bowser Jr. pouted, "You get my daddy outta there right now!"

Mario, already quite tired of all this (and not wanting to mess up his outfit), simply reached out for a crowbar lying on one of the crates and bopped the spoiled brat over the head with it. In an instant, he was out cold on the floor. He picked the limp body up and tossed it into the silo next to Bowser.

"Like father, like son…" Mario mumbled as he turned to leave, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a show to watch."

* * *

By the time Mario rejoined Luigi, Peach, and Daisy, Mickey had just defeated Maleficent (and all the other villains) and the grand finale was about to begin. 

"There you are, Mario!" his brother called out, "What happened? You missed all the exciting stuff!"

Mario let out a weak laugh and sat back down.

"Trust me, Luigi, I think I've had enough excitement for one day."

"Goodness, Mario, you're all sweaty!" Peach gasped, "What happened?"

"Oh nothing…" the plumber replied, "Another guest had a… _Heated_ argument with me, but it's all fine now."

"You sure?" Daisy asked.

Mario paused and watched the finale. Sorcerer Mickey was standing at the very top of the mountain, 'conducting' the water and light effects below him while a triumphant score played. In the background, all sorts of fireworks were going off and, although it was hard to tell over the music, he could've sworn he heard someone shouting, "CURSE YOU MARIO!!!" as the fireworks shot into the sky and exploded.

"Yeah…" Mario replied, letting out a smile, "I'm sure."


End file.
